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LOST IN SPACE (BLU-RAY)
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Reviewed by: Mike Catalano

Directed by: Stephen Hopkins

Starring:
William Hurt
Gary Oldman
Mimi Rogers

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
Based on the popular 1960's television show, the Robinson family goes on an outer space quest to save humanity and instead, winds up becoming... well, see the title above.

Is it good movie?
"We're lost, aren't we?" asks a precocious, preboobescent Lacey Chabert somewhere around the beginning of this flick. I'm just curious if she was reciting her lines or posing an actual question to the filmmakers. I remember watching this movie way back when it first came out in 1998 (I also remember turning it off about half-way through). Now, over a decade later, it appears that some things don't change. Sure, I watched it all the way through this time, but had the same negative reaction.

How can someone f*ck up a sci-fi adventure movie, based on a successful tv series, with stars like William Hurt and Gary f*cking Oldman, and eye-candy like Heather Graham and Mimi Rogers? If you want the easiest answer to that question, just start watching LOST IN SPACE (the movie). If you can comfortably make it through the whole thing, then congrats.

What really pissed me off was that the flick had such a promising opening with some cool space action and suspense. It was able to convince me that Matt LeBlanc could be taken seriously as anything beyond a dumbass named "Joey". Sadly, after that blast of a beginning, all I was hand-fed was cheese upon grilled cheese of stilted dialogue and performances that seemed more interested in cashing a check rather than showing some respect to the viewers. Such wooden walking through the motions. Except for maybe Oldman, but even he can't save this ship. I can't help but wonder whether someone told the entire cast that the special effects were going to be so amazing that they needn't bother with bringing any real feeling to the table.

Another thing that pissed me off, and was so clearly evident, was the fact that either the studio or the filmmakers were pandering the flick towards children. From the goofy robots to the stupid space monkey alien intelligently named Blarp to the heavy focus on the Robinson's two youngest children, everything felt like an insult to the adults who were watching. Maybe somebody thought that this would make the proceedings more fun, but in reality, all we get is a whole heaping helping of brainless manure. Too bad, because underneath this muddled mess, there could have been an enjoyable sci-fi romp.

Video / Audio
Video A nice and crisp Widescreen 2.40:1

Audio English or Spanish dolby digital with English, Spanish and French subtitles.

The Extras
The special features don't deviate much from the previously-released DVD.

There were 2 commentary tracks: one by Stephen Hopkins and writer, Akiva Goldsman, and the other by visual effects supervisors, Angus Bickerton and Lauren Ritchie, director of photography, Peter Levy, editor, Ray Lovejoy, & producer, Carla Fry. Neither were super interesting. Nobody wants to hear from writers and producers and such when you have such big names as stars. Where's my Oldman and Hurt commentary?!

A couple of deleted scenes that would have only further hurt the flick's two-hour-plus run time.

Two short featurettes about the special effects and the future of space.

An okay music video by Apollo Four Forty.

Some fun interviews with the original cast members of the Lost in Space tv show. This was at least a nice tip of the hat.

Lastly, a theatrical trailer.

Last Call
Yes, the effects were cool and... that really is about it. In my mind, no movie can attain a passing grade based solely on effects. You need nice performances and some form of an entertaining story. You don't get that with LOST IN SPACE. Don't buy it.

ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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