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LOVECRACKED! THE MOVIE
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Reviewed by: Ammon Gilbert

Directed by: Elias

Starring:
Elias
Joanna Angel
Chad Bernhard

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
An investigative reporter is making a documentary on the life, work and mystery of H.P. Lovecraft. On his journey to discovering the truth, we're presented with different takes on Lovecraft’s stories, from the weird to the straight bizarre. Horror and "hilarity" ensues.
Is it good movie?

I'm not going to lie to you; I had a hard time watching this flick. I don’t know whether it's because I'm not familiar with the works of H.P. Lovecraft, or because I found the "comedic" investigative reporter/ host to be completely unfunny and rather annoying. The film's in a CREEPSHOW like format, with separate short films based on the works of Lovecraft mixed between the babbling and pointless reporting of our unlikable host, Elias. I get the fact that it was being played for laughs and was supposed to be humorous, but it just didn't work for me- played more like an attempt at comedy rather than comedy itself.

That being said, the actualmix of Lovecraft tales set in-between the babbling reporter were pretty good. It was almost like being at one of the student run, independent film festivals that I used to go to in college: a variety of budgets, visual styles, talent and tones, yet overall enjoyable. Some shorts were weird ("History of the Lurkers"), some were creepy ("BugBoy"), and some were just plain bizarre ("Alecto").

And through it all, I must say that my personal favorite had to be "Re-Penatrator", a soft-core porn take on the "Re-Animator", featuring sex between one scientist and one sex-crazed zombie. With classic lines like "Eat my zombie pussy!", "Re-Penatrator" was funny, hot and disgusting all at the same time.

It's also to note that the animated opening sequence was pretty sweet, and showed a lot of talent. So while the "comedic" hijinks between shorts left me wanting to kill myself, the actual films themselves turned out to be a mix of good, bad and ugly- just what you'd expect a from Lovecraft film festival.
Video / Audio
Mostly clear and presented in 1.85:1 letterbox format, though it varied from film to film. Same goes with clarity, as some had the grainy 'video' look, and others rocked it on film.

Sound quality also varied from film to film, but overall, it was what you'd expect from low budget film/video.
The Extras
Three Short Films-
"The Voice Inside" - A short film that's received plenty of praise at a variety of film fests, including MOST DISTURBING and MOST OFFENSIVE. If watching a dude beat the crap outta himself is your thing, then prepare to have a blast!

"The Masturbating Ghost" - Not really a tale of horror, except for that ghost in the corner beating his meat. The flick was 'ok', but didn't change my life or anything.

Blooper Reel - Not funny, don't waste your time.

Music Videos - A couple of f*ckin' whacked out music videos... if you're into hardcore metal, this may be awesome... but for me, not so much.

Trailers - We get the trailer for the movie- nothing more, nothing less.
Last Call
It's a mixed bag of good, bad and ugly shorts. If you're a fan of H.P. Lovecraft, and independent film festivals, then this movie is for you- once you can get passed the unfunny reporter and his unsuccessful attempt at humor. The plus side is that, on DVD, you can skip his mindless banter and go directly to the meat of the films presented. Worth a rental with friends and plenty of beer.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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