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MAD MONSTER RALLY
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Reviewed by: JimmyO

Directed by: Various

Starring:
Tom Bartlett
Jacquelyn Hyde
Jerry Albert

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
“Spend a night with Morella!” and find 8 really bad movies that run the gamut from aliens to monsters in the woods to some Creature from the Black Lagoon
Is it good movie?
I really love cheesy, grade-z horror films on occasion. Whether you’re talking murderous psychopaths, voodoo rituals, and sci-fi shockers, I can almost always sit down and enjoy some blood spattered fun. So when I started rummaging though Mad Monster Rally, a collection of low-budget horror flicks, I wanted a good old fashioned “bad scary movie celebration“. Truthfully, most of the films are pretty awful, but this compilation is sort of a mess. The movies don‘t seem to have any rhyme or reason as to why they are on the same disc, maybe just a case of putting whatever they could out on DVD. But this three disc set is also made a little more interesting with a “hostess with the most-ess”, Morella, a buxom beauty that introduces each of the cinematic masterworks.

Morella’s Blood Vision features the likes of the old black and white flick, Zombies (aka I Eat Your Skin) and features a bunch of extras dancing around a fire and some zombie fella with really goofy bulging eyes. Next is The Blood Seekers which is a painfully dull excursion into something kinda bland. And the look of the film is bloody awful… what the hell did they tint this with? Finally, Blood Stalkers is a bland look at four people on a road trip who are stalked by a yeti type monster. Are you really that braindead that everyone would want you to turn around, but you insist that the creepy cabin you haven’t seen in years is a good place to go? This is bad all the way until the “Scooby Doo” like twist. Although the final sequence was kind of interesting, with the dude walking through town carrying a rifle.

With Morella’s All-Nite Spooktacular witness a bunch of Gremlins wannabes with Hobgoblins. This is one of the more entertaining features on the block, but certainly not because it is good. The monsters look silly and the cast is all camp, but I had fun with this blatant rip-off. How about a creepy mystery of intrigue and deception with House of Blood. I also kind of dug this feature about a young couple attempting to make a fortune off a rich old man. This has pulp written all over it as the performances are over the top and the story is sort of captivating. Again, not a great film, but I kind of liked the early Seventies vibe grooving throughout. As for The Cremators, you got a giant ball that rolls around killing people. Hey, another rip-off, but this time, think “glowing Blob” that’ll cremate you instantly. Easily the best disc on the set, which doesn’t say a whole lot.

Okay, finishing things off, Morella seems to have taken a break and left us with Sci-Fi Trash-O-Rama, and she is very much missed. The only real movie’s here are Creature of Destruction and U.F.O. Target Earth, neither of which are good. The first is one lousy monster and will only scare your wallet after you dished out money for it. The second is the “true story” of U.F.O. encounters that will bore you to death. This particular disc is certainly a case of “one of these things is not like the other” because it seems like it should’ve been in a science fiction pack instead of a Morella pack. What happened? Did they not have enough of the buxom horror hostess? Then make it a two pack and lower the price.
Video / Audio
Video: Each of the films here run the gamut from an awful transfer to a just sort of bad transfer. In other words, it’s all bad.

Audio: Ditto. The sound is routinely pretty bad on each and every film.
The Extras
The Special Features are a mixed bag. Ironically, the disc with the most is the Morella-less, Sci-Fi Trash-O-Rama. It includes the two features, but it also includes a little thing called The Flying Saucer Mystery (12:30). It is basically a news reel type of thing telling us we are not alone. Sadly, it is pretty dull.

Next up is a couple of pointless extras where you click on the link, and up pops an ad for www.retromedia.org. Fun times. And finishing off this disc is a trio of Sci-Fi Toy Commercials. Truth is, I found this to be sort of fun and it made me want to go and make my own commercial. YouTube here I come! Or maybe not…

With the All-Nite Spooktacular you’ll find a trailer for “Hobgoblins” and “The Cremators”. You also have what is probably the best thing on the entire box set, and that would be Morella’s intro with “Graveyard Theatre”. There is one for each of the features and I they made me smile.

On top of that, there are a couple of Original Drive In Segments for Hobgoblins and The Cremators, and they are not nearly as inviting as Morella and her talents. Finishing off this disc is an interview with one of the “stars” of The Cremators, Maria De Aragon. She’s a nice lady I’m sure, but the interview is sort of a snoozer. Finally we have more of those ads for not only the Retro Website, but for Morella’s as well. They really want us to check out www.graveyardtheater.com, so do it.

As for the last disc, Blood Vision is pretty much worthless when it comes to extras. You get two Graveyard Theaters and that is it. What annoys me is Morella mentions that she will be back after the movie… no such luck.
Last Call
I loved the idea behind this box set. Morella is a fun horror host that has a couple of major talents but she isn’t trying to be Elvira. She has her own thing going and is enjoyable to watch. But this is such a hodgepodge of a mix of movies that it feels sloppy and thrown together. I’m guessing it probably was. With a couple of so bad they are good movies including Hobgoblins and House of Blood, I would’ve loved to see a stronger set of flicks with maybe a little more of Morella. How about having her do commentary? Seriously, put some thought into this next time
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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