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MALICE IN WONDERLAND
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Reviewed by: Mike Catalano

Directed by: Simon Fellows

Starring:
Maggie Grace
Danny Dyer
Matt King


Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
Poor Alice has lost her memory as well as her way in this modernized (and completely stoned) re-telling of the classic fairy tale.
Is it good movie?
I've got news for you guys expecting some dark and horrific re-imagining of ALICE IN WONDERLAND with an undead rabbit that rips people's throats out and an evil witch-like queen that chops off heads with an axe, then you're way f*cking wrong, plain and simple! There is nothing horror-related at all with this movie. In fact, there's nothing even remotely suspense-related. Plus, I still don't really have a clue as to what it's all about. I actually have it on in the background as I write this review, hoping to possibly make some sense of it the second time around. So far, no dice...

First off, the flick definitely plays like it was made by someone who was stoned. There's tons of colorful, neon images, odd slapstick humor (that isn't very funny), and wacky music. Everything plays like a dream: just one ridiculous sequence after the next strung together with some lame plotline about a lost girl with amnesia and the oddball set of cartoonish, seedy freaks she meets while attempting to regain her memory.

Also, and maybe it's because the movie takes place in England, but I had a really tough time comprehending what some of the characters were saying. I guess it could have been because they were speaking in some sort of English slang, but frankly, it pissed me off. It made an already incomprehensible movie even harder to decipher. And the pathetic thing is, I really didn't care to figure out what was going on. The action was slow, the performances were bland, and the direction was annoying.

Sure, Maggie Grace is very cute, but I think only Amy Adams has the ability to make me sit through a complete shit-fest from beginning to end and not feel like my time has been entirely wasted. None of the other actors in the flick grabbed my attention either, although clearly Danny Dyer is a talent. He just needs to stick to scripts more in-line with his SEVERANCE, which was a real Arrow in the Head film. The only really malice in this movie is what's done to the viewer.

Video / Audio
Video Widescreen 2.35:1

Audio English 5.1 Dolby Digital with Spanish subtitles

The Extras
A Making Of featurette that was actually more interesting than the film itself. If I had watched this before the movie, I would have been very excited to see MALICE... but then I still would have hated it.

A Behind the Scenes Photo Gallery that is set to the film's dreamy score.

A couple of Trailers for other Magnolia movies.

Last Call
If you feel like completely wasting your time on a plot that goes nowhere with annoying characters, then set your timer to 87 minutes and pop in MALICE IN WONDERLAND. You could try looking out for which characters are based on the ones from the original ALICE, but even that gets way boring after a bit. I'm sure the director was going for something visual and inventive, but it just made me want to lop off his head.

ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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