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MINOTAUR
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Reviewed by: JimmyO

Directed by: Jonathan English

Starring:
Tom Hardy
Michelle Van Der Water
Tony Todd

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
Every three years the city of Minos takes eight youths from Thena to sacrifice to the Bull-God for which it worships. In hopes that he can save his long lost love taken on the last round, Theo, son of Rutger Hauer, hops a ride on the sacrifice wagon to “Curse the God, Slay the Beast.”
Is it good movie?
What can I say…? I kind of dug this flick. This is one of those cheesy B-movies with the monster taking out the cast one by one. Maybe it was the English accents, or maybe it was the fact that it was taken from Greek Mythology, I had a blast. You see, Theo (Tom Hardy) is the lucky son to Cyrnan (Rutger Hauer) who is chosen to lead the people of Thena after his father dies. So when the mean old soldiers of Minos come to collect the eight suckers to get sacrificed, Theo gets a pass. But when a strange old leper, played by Ingrid Pitt tells Theo that his long lost love is alive, he feels compelled to save her. So he returns to the village and takes another’s place to be slaughtered. Yet he has something else in mind. He aims to kill the Bull-God; yep, he's gonna kick some Minotaur butt and save his lady love. If all this sounds too deep don’t worry, it ain’t. When the chosen few are thrown to the god by Deucalion, played by Tony Todd this turns into part myth but mostly monster flick.

Jonathan English has fun with this, especially the POV of the Minotaur ready to attack. And we are treated to a fair amount of blood and guts, one pretty cool kill in particular with a girl all stoked to be sacrificed. And I also was digging the sound design here; the “growl” of the monster worked and made for some fun times. For a low-budget monster show they did a decent job on the monster himself. Although much of it was CGI, it worked well enough and looked icky enough that I bought into it. Yes this felt like a dead teenager movie, except they wore funny clothes and spoke with accents. But I have to give props to the actors, they did good work and a couple of these folks I actually cared about. Credit should go to Tom Hardy, Michelle Van Der Water as Raphaella, Deucalion’s sister and Maimie McCoy as one the trophies for the beast. They all give a strong show. And a few other performers give it their all and take it seriously enough. It was also great to see Rutger Hauer back in the genre. He had very limited screen time but he was still a pleasure to watch. And finally, we get Tony Todd being the bad mofo who was going to make sure that the Bull-God got some tasty young flesh. He was over the top, but it worked and he sure as hell looked like he was having a blast.
Video / Audio
The Extras
Last Call
No, this isn’t going to win any awards, despite much of the European cast, but Minotaur is a blast. We get a couple of groovy kills and a little bit of nudity thanks to a naked queen about to get down and nasty with the bull in the opening sequence. This ain’t high art but it is a fun B-movie that takes itself seriously enough for the audience to get involved. So take the bull by the horns, grab some brew and a few friends and check out this Minotaur. No Greek Mythology lesson needed.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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