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NIGHT SKIES
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Reviewed by: Ryan Doom

Directed by: Roy Knyrim

Starring:
Jason Connery
A.J. Cook
George Stults

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
A group of friends encounter a Texas stranger and even stranger lights while on vacation in the middle of no where.
Is it good movie?
Alien films are of a higher order. They should be serene. They should be unsettling. They should evoke paranoia with a simple shot of the night sky, setting up the unbridled fear of abduction. They should be the ultimate nightmare. However, Night Skies is one of the most clichťd, dull, poorly acted and dreadful films Iíve seen in quite some time. Not only are the characters as cardboard as a cereal box, but the alien sequences make 1950ís UFO flicks seem like state of the art CGI. There's nothing frightening here. Hell, there's nothing that puts it in the it's so bad itís good category. Put simply, Night Skies ends up being amateurish and a complete bore. Simple enough?

Sean Connery should sue his son Jason, our lead, for continuing his career of acting. The spawn of Connery plays an ex-military man from Texas whoís struggling with his body count after Desert Storm. When an Englishman plays a Texan, the role resembles a tired, sad version of a NASCAR fan. Connery offers no positive qualities, offers no likeability, and displays no ability as a leading man. Heís a drunken loner who comes across a group of vacationing friends. Of course, theyíre three girls and two buff guys with personalities equal to corpses. Likewise, director Roy Knyrim must be kindred spirits with Uwe Boll because this isnít even laughable bad; itís bland and stale. With a low budget, one must stick with the rules that come with low budget filmmaking. Donít attempt special effects that you donít have. Donít attempt a broad story if you canít cover the ground. With aliens, supposedly scary ones, one should illicit panic and complete uneasiness by not showing us whatís in the dark. Knyrim makes this mistake. He shows the creatures (old school Star Trek had more intimidating aliens as these look like $30 Halloween masks), so whatís to fear? Leave the audience some room for imagination and then maybe something will come of it. By showing a couple of idiots in green shirts and cheap masks, well, sigh. There's even the big abduction sequence (SPOLIER, but not really) which looked like they were sucked up into a warehouse and covered with spaghetti and cheese. The only redeeming scene came from the examination of the humans. That's it. Just one two minute scene.

Night Skies had potential with the settling, the aliens, and the fact that supposedly it's based on the true story of a man found in the middle of Arizona who claimed he and five other people were abducted. Itís a good set-up. But if this version is true, I want to see the results of a lie detector test. Now Iíve never been abducted, but somehow I doubt aliens chase people around the woods like Jason Voorhees only to stare them down and give them the creeps. So whatís all this bitching add up to? Well, surely you guessed. Save yourself 84 minutes. Read a book. Take your dog for a walk. Make a papier-m‚chť bust of your mom. Do anything but waste your time.
Video / Audio
Video: Anamorphic Widescreen 1.85:1

Audio: English 5.1 Dolby Digital
The Extras
None.
Last Call
What a waste. A good idea that failed miserably. Stay away. A long, long way away.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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