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NYMPHO LIBRE
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Reviewed by: Andre Manseau

Directed by: Toby Dammit

Starring:
Donkey Show Dominguez
El Lezbo Misterioso
Daisy Chain

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
There's some sort of thing going on in America somewhere (Mexico?) that has been happening for years "underground", something called Sex Mex, or something like that. A bunch of chubby white dudes, a dude in a rubber mummy suit, and of course a bunch of prerequisite skanks then take turns banging the ever-lovin' bejesus out of each other.
Is it good movie?
I'll be honest (when am I not?), I've put off reviewing Nympho Libre because this is something so far beyond my normal realm of reviewing that I haven't been sure how to approach it. I'm going to make a confession to my fellow AITH staff and my 3 fans that may shock the earth to its core: I don't really watch porn. I've been a man happily linked with a lady friend for the past 4 or so years and as such don't often find a tremendous need to watch. Don't get me wrong, put your guns down- I was once a University kid, and as such have seen copious amounts of the stuff in my day, including a lot of "Hey man, watch this...AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW GROSS" stuff, so I'm no stranger to the nastiness. With that being said, I will muster up my best porn reviewing moustache and let you know what you're in for.

So in case you couldn't tell already, Nympho Libre is straight up porn. Put together by a huge dude named Toby Dammit and a bizarre "wrestling promoter" named Johnny Legend (who looks like father time). Of course, it capitalizes on 2006's summer hit, Nacho Libre. By "capitalizes" I mean it puts men and women alike in cheap replica masks of lucha libre stars and then they have sex.

Plot? There really isn't much plot to speak of. There's bizarre scenes in between the nailing where some dialogue is exchanged, but it's brutal, inane stuff that adds absolutely nothing to the proceedings. I mean nothing; you will be left scratching your head at the barely audible stuff. These porn people are no actors, and let me tell you something else; they are no porn stars either. You'll find lesbian stuff, straight stuff and even a chick sucking on an ancient "Aztec mummy" with his voice dubbed over by Johnny Legend. It's surreal, but just because it is surreal doesn't mean it's worth watching, even for a second. I think that usually porn is meant to be fairly arousing, but I've seen bad porn and this is really it. There are about maybe 5 minutes of this whole DVD when one or both participants seem to be genuinely enjoying themselves. Other than that, it's all limp-wristed moaning and looking off into space as they drill for oil. Yeah, there's a lot of big fake boobs and stuff, but this was just weak.

In the behind the scenes feature, Toby Dammit (I think it was him) said something about the film taking a YEAR AND A HALF to shoot. I have a hard time not believing it was filmed in 4 hours on a handheld camera in some guy's house and edited on a dude's Mac. Nympho Libre is completely amateur stuff, all around.
Video / Audio
Video is 1.33:1 full screen and looks like true garbage, all washed out, dark and grainy. Yuck.

Audio is presented in Dolby Digital (and believe it or not, the soundtrack of Mexican surf-post-punk rock isn't all that bad!) and you'll hear all the moaning and slapping you can handle.
The Extras
The main meat (lawl) is to be found in Behind The Scenes, which is hosted by (again, I can't be sure) Toby Dammit, as he talks about..well not much, basically just following the actresses around with the camera and showing essentially deleted sex scenes while giving a little insight as to why they were deleted or the story behind them.

Other than that, you'll find a couple of throwaway commentary tracks, but what kind of information do you expect from a commentary track on a porn? Lots of insults and giggling abound.
Last Call
Nympho Libre aims to be a clever mix between the world of Lucha Libre and hardcore porn, and fails at both attempts. It's not really all that hot, and the masks and stuff are really more of an insult than any kind of homage whatsoever (sorry, I'm a wrestling fan). I can't believe this is finding a major release and that you can buy it on Amazon; don't say you haven't been warned.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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