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RED SCREAM VAMPYRES
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Reviewed by: Ryan Doom

Directed by: David R. Williams

Starring:
Satu Rautaharju
Valeria Dombrovschi
and Jess Weber

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
Two sexy vampire babes pick up hitchhikers and do very bad, very bloody things to them. Meanwhile, some urban hunters are on their trail while one of the girls falls for one of her victims.
Is it good movie?
One thing I noticed within the first ten minutes of the new vampire flick Red Scream Vampyres is that whoever director David R. Williams is, the dude is all about style. I’m not knocking the guy because every director should incorporate style. However, there’s something about all the music video elements of modern film: quick cuts, grainy footage, film reels, dark lighting, thrashing music, and well, you get the point. For me, it gets old. I like a decent, standard quality to film. I like a story to aide the characters in their events. If a movie needs fancy cuts and effects fit for a three-minute video, then the movie lacks something. Like a good story. Like interesting characters. Like something worthy to watch.

Now, if your mission is to create a nasty, bloody vampire romp, then I want something new out of it. I want some cool ass characters. I want some hot vampire ladies. I want a little romanticism to the whole thing. Red Scream Vampyres delivers on some of those elements. The bloody girls are hot and nude throughout. Blood and gore flow like a kid with a runny nose. But everything feels like surface material. It feels like I watched a film experiment. Not a film. I know that’s the point of Red Scream Vampyres because there’s nothing like sex, blood, and rock and roll. But for 90 minutes without anything else?! Eh.

Now to be fair, there’s more to the movie than just the vampire chicks and blood getting sprayed. Some hunters are tracking the two chicks and have set up shop outside their warehouse lair. But they don’t really add anything here. They’re some plain, so basic that they never felt like they could threaten the vampires’ way of life. And unfortunately, they’re not too good at their jobs. Fortunately, however, the special effects guys (and gals no doubt) are pretty good because when the girls strike, they do deliver the gore by the truck load. Every time they dine on a new victim, they rip the hell out them. But there’s no joy to the mayhem. It’s not like a Dawn of the Dead. It’s not even in the world of Underworld. No, no. It’s far from that. Far, far away.
Video / Audio
Video: A grainy, home quality widescreen presentation.

Audio: Presented with the power of 2.0 Surround (I assume, it wasn’t listed but it sounded good with all the rock music jams.)
The Extras
Commentary: The director and crew informs us that they’ll do it “straight up raw” in the commentary, which has them smoking out of a bong to tell us about the flick. Kinda pretentious and juvenile.
Last Call
I’ll repeat what I always say about independent filmmakers. I respect the hell out of them. I think it’s a hell of a feat to create a film, a finished product served up for the masses. BUT…that doesn’t mean the work is always good. And in the case of Red Scream Vampyres, it just didn’t do it for me.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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