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RISE OF THE DEAD
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Reviewed by: Donny Broussard

Directed by: William Wedig

Starring:
Emily Ackerman
Dani Baker
Erin Wilk

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
I think it’s about a chick being tormented by the spirit of her dead two-year-old baby that takes over the bodies of her loved ones and tries to kill her. It is not, however about zombies.
Is it good movie?
Ulli Lommel now has some competition in his quest to be the worst director in the world. That’s right; director William Wedig came close to taking the title from Lommel with his first film “Rise of the Dead.” In fact not only is “Rise of the Dead” a terrible film but Wedig evidently didn’t read the script or pay attention to the visuals in front of him, or even proof the marketing materials because this abysmal flick has nothing to do with anyone rising from the dead. Don’t let the DVD packaging fool you; the zombie on the cover is not in the film, and because of this utter lack of attention to detail Lommel almost lost his title.

The flick follows Laura Childs played by cutie Erin Wilk who did a fine job with what she was given (a crappy script and no direction), as everyone she comes into contact with tries to kill her, but not a zombie in sight. I know I’m beating a dead horse, but come on, the title of the flick is “Rise of the Dead,” there is a silhouette of a zombie in the logo, the tagline is “When The UNDERWORLD Takes Over,” and bold letters on the back of the DVD call it “A Frightening Zombie Thriller!” so forgive me for thinking that I was going to be watching a zombie movie.

Mr. Wedig sir this is just a piece of advice from a nobody critic, but I really think you should go back and watch a few Ulli Lommel flicks and pay close attention to how he puts a little bit of whatever it is the title suggests into the script. Also try not to fall asleep on the set because if you had been awake you’d have realized that you didn’t make a zombie movie. I have a few titles that I’d like to suggest for you; “Bad Home Video About Baby Possession,” “Not A Bad Zombie Movie; Just A Bad Movie,” “Shake (the camera shakes a lot so it wouldn’t be false advertisement),” and my personal favorite (Can’t believe I’m saying this) “Do Yourself A Favor And Rent An Ulli Lommel Film Instead.”

Now to give Wedig some props there are some nice T&A shots and the ladies in the flick are quite tasty, so he did do something right. Also while I didn’t dig the flick I give him props because it takes a lot of work to finish a film and he did finish a film. I would also like to touch on the fact that Wedig probably didn’t set out to make a zombie film (if he did then take everything I wrote above to heart) which means the studio decided to market it as such in an attempt to earn some coin from unsuspecting horror fans. This is a trend that is (excuse my language) fucking up our favorite genre, and as horror fans we are partly to blame for spending our money on these crappy time wasters.
Video / Audio
Video: Looked good for such a cheap flick.

Audio: Was very inconsistent.
The Extras
This disc is host to a boring commentary track and a trailer, but nothing worth more than a heavy hand on the fast-forward button.
Last Call
The actors try to do a good job, but the script is so bad that it makes their job impossible (evidently their agents don’t read scripts before pimping their clients), the camera work is rough and uninspired, the sound is weak, there are no zombies in this flick, but there are some nice skin shots. So unless you don’t have the internet and can’t download proper porn stay away from this flick.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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