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SCHIZOPHRENIAC: THE WHORE...
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Reviewed by: Mike Catalano

Directed by: Ron Atkins

Starring:
John Giancaspro
Jennifer Atkins
Pete Coleman

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
It's a double feature of filth! First up, in SCHIZOPHRENIAC, poor Harry likes doing drugs, dressing up like a chick, talking to a puppet, killing whores, and drum roll please... having sex with their dead corpses!

Then in NECROMANIAC, the completely necessary sequel to SCHIZOPHRENIAC, the same exact shit happens... again!

Is it good movie?
Welcome to the bottom of the f*cking barrel, my friends. My heads hurts so bad right now, I actually am having trouble deciding where to begin. Is it possible to actually become dumber through the watching of movies? Well, first off, I should probably state that SCHIZOPHRENIAC and NECROMANIAC are not horror movies. They're both definitely horror pornos. Trust me, I comprised a comparative list: shit acting, low budget camera, cheesy music, strange boob jobs, outlandishly graphic f*cking, ridiculous dialogue and situations. It's all there and if the aforementioned ingredients don't immediately scream out Porno! then Ron Jeremy has a shitload of explaining to do.

Have you ever watched a flick and been like "I could make a better movie than that"? Well, in the case of SCHIZO/NECRO, you actually CAN! To call these movies "low budget" would be an understatement. Hell, it's an insult to other low budget movies! Whatever I was watching looked like home movies made by a person on crack. This could have been acceptable if the crackhead had any talent, but that sure as shit ain't the case here. I bet he knew how horrible he was and only made this shit to laugh at those that get suckered into watching it.

There's just nothing worse than witnessing those who can't do something, acting like they they're the best at it. I swear, does every person with a video camera think they're a director or actor?! Watching the dude who plays the title character is nothing short of an exercise in extreme torture tolerance. I don't know if it's the guy's annoying Jersey Shore accent, his terrible deliveries, the fact that he's completely naked half the time, or his bald head and beady eyes, but he has to be the worst excuse for talent that has ever walked the Earth.

What more do I really need to say? That the idea of killing ho's and then having sex with them is a poor and pathetic excuse to pass off as shocking? That talking to a puppet is a horribly unoriginal notion for horror? That characters that constantly speak in loud, retard-ish Italian accents is murder on the ears? And yes, I just dared to use the non-word retard-ish. And you know what? Wasting anymore real words on this suckfest is retard-ish.

Video / Audio
Video Full Screen 1.33:1

Audio English... well, broken English.

The Extras
SCHIZO has two trailers.

NECRO has a trailer and a music video titled Die Cunt.

Last Call
After a while, both of these flicks were so ridiculously asinine that I could picture frat houses laughing their asses off at it. So perhaps it could be good for something. But then again, there's really bad and then there's just plain excrement. I'd love nothing more than to flush this DVD down the crapper.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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