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SEED
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Reviewed by: Andre Manseau

Directed by: Uwe Boll

Starring:
Michael Pare
Will Sanderson
Ralf Moeller
Jodelle Ferland

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
A cop is hunting down a serial killer named Max Seed (I know, stupid name). Finally, he catches him and sends him to death row. Of course Seed survives THREE shocks in the electric chair and is buried alive. He digs his way out and is naturally more pissed off than ever.
Is it good movie?
Uwe Boll is awful, should I be cool and let you know all about how badly he sucks? Well if you've read this site before, I wouldn't be telling you anything you don't already know. He's just terrible, like he's the Matthew McConaughey of directors, except he beats up the critics who hate him. Anyway, with that aside, let's get into this one with an open mind. Ha!

Although Boll is known for massacring otherwise half-decent (or at least playable) video games, this one is his first original film in awhile. Too bad it is so pedestrian and bland, despite being quite gory. The movie tries to be depraved, the whole thing essentially tries to demonstrate how life begins and ends alone, and Uwe literally puts in videos of things living and dying. It's weird and out of context and not overly sensical.

There's just so much about the movie that tries to be in your face but it just seems that Boll is trying too hard. Real life animal violence? I'd rather not see that. Babies dying, seriously for no reason? Nah, I'll pass on that too. After these initial sequences, things just get lame as the movie just slows way down. The pace is slow and the torture is even slower. Blech.

The acting is terrible, and Michael Pare's detective character is way too serious and not overly effective. The movie tries to look dark and evil, but after the first little while, this movie was trite and boring and had some of the worst CGI I've seen in awhile. The hatchet scene is just hilariously bad.

Video / Audio
Video is 1.85:1 anamorphic, and looks okay. The movie isn't shot well though so it doesn't say much.

Audio comes in Dolby Digital 5.1 and sounds good, but the quality of the sound effects is quite terrible to begin with. Too bad.
The Extras
First we get an audio commentary with the film's big boss, writer/director/producer Uwe Boll. For a guy with so much to say, he's very quiet. This is a disappointing commentary that doesn't add much and isn't worth listening to.

Next up is a short film called Criticized, which written and directed by Richard Gale. It's a great little deal about a bad director who tortures a critic. Seriously, what else could you want on a Boll disc?

A few deleted scenes add nothing but boredom to the mix, I'm glad they were cut. About 15 minutes worth, too.

You get a trailer too, for this and a few other masterpieces.

Disc two bizarrely gives you a copy of the PC game Advent Rising, which is years old and has nothing to do with this movie. What the hell?
Last Call
Ultimately this movie is another stinker. Although it's watchable, you can see so many things that went wrong. Boll is trying to be all artsy and effective, but after awhile he fizzles out and looks like a cool kid trying too hard. The best part about this disc is the insert inside of the case that has novelty Uwe Boll ringtones. I'm not kidding.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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