Reviewed by: Andre Manseau
What's it about
Well, I don't really know what else to say- this is a porno movie thinly veiled as a vampire flick. Thought to be lost in the annals of Canadian myth, our sax-laden, ultra low budget porn movie has finally found its way to shelves.
Is it good movie?
I had a good laugh when Sexcula came across my desk (figuratively, of
course). I figured this was a zany exploitation romp through a silly er
a of film that might provide a few laughs and some lame acting. Instead
of a movie with a couple of boobs and some bad jokes. What I
wound up with was straight up lame old porn. Well, perhaps i'm being a
bit too judgy, because I don't know what got people off back in the
day. Here, we get a lot of goofy fangs, people looking right at the
camera and a whole lot of awful music. Honestly, I can't really credit the "acting", though admittedly Debbie Collins is a good looking lass. None of the ladies are too hard to look at, but that doesn't exactly save anything.
Ultimately, if you're looking for a horror film, you can look
elsewhere. Instead, this is nothing more than a really low budget
sexploitation film that'll give you a look at cheap porn-horror from
that particular era. As I mentioned before, there's a little bit of a
plot in here somewhere, although the lines are hard to hear and
delivered so laughably that it's hard to make out what's going on at
all. I think it's about a girl who takes her boyfriend to a mansion.
They find an old diary, which leads to a mad scientist (Dr.
Fallatingstein and his sidekick Orgie), Countess Sexcula, and even
hilarious robots (well, a sex girl robot) and a gorilla. Just hilarious!
This isn't a bellybutton humping porn movie either- there's scenes of
full penetration, right up until the end. You'll see plenty of wieners
alongside giant bush. It's not particularly attracting, and the film is
ugly looking to begin with. The movie is shot in a strange way, and you
can't often make out minute, explicit detail. Probably better that way.
The whole thing feels cheap and to call it a movie with any sort of
narrative is funny. More like "my weird uncle got drunk and strung up
some Halloween decorations". If you love it bizarre, you might like
There's little else I can say about this one. The girls are pretty good
looking for their time period, the story is nonexistant and the effects
and sets are absolutely hilarious. Well, that and a Gunnar Hansen
cameo! Watch out for that beauty.
Video / Audio
Video is full screen with a ratio of 1.33:1. It's ugly, drab and grainy.
Audio is Dolby 2.0 mono, and as I mentioned
before, is often muffled and brutal. Soundtrack? Awful!
The trailer for the film is included, as is a dvd liner insert, that details how the flick was acquired and some of the hoopla that made it notorious.
Sexcula is not a good movie. It's a "lost gem" of a Canadian porn
flick, and if that sounds like your idea of fun, by all means grab it.
For fans of weird old porn only!