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SKULL AND BONES
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Reviewed by: Ryan Doom

Directed by: T. S. Slaughter

Starring:
Derrick Wolf
Michael Burke
Ryan G. Metzger

Movie:  
star star star
Extras:  
star star star
Overall:  
star star star
What's it about
Two murderous homosexuals from a State college decide to take revenge on Ivy League rich kids and make them pay. The more they kill, the more they want to kill more.
Is it good movie?

"THIS IS A REVIEW OF THE ROUGH CUT"

No. Skull and Bones just might be one of the worst movies Iíve ever seen. Not only is the plot completely nonexistent, but the acting is horrendous, the music makes no sense and directing is anything but satisfactory. And Iím not saying this falls in the itís so bad itís good category. This movie sucks. Itís as if director/writer T. S. Slaughter couldnít decide if he was making a comedy or a thriller or soft-core gay fetish porn. In the end, it didnít matter as he succeeded at none. I usually give any film the benefit of the doubt because of the effort put in, but when a movie focuses on one anal rape scene after another mixed with supposed comedy, the result is pathetic. The only horror here comes from those many scenes, but they arenít played as such. Instead, theyíre filmed like a party video, and the audience is supposed to enjoy watching a variety of objects unwillingly being shoved in someone's ass. The characters crack jokes as they rape. Theyíre having a blast. I wanted to turn the thing off.

Skull and Bones has nothing to offer except to offend. Hell, the characters even make Katrina jokes. It's as if the only idea behind the film was to hold the record for the most anal rape scenes. Of course, thereís the off chance that is what the filmmakers hoped to achieve. But if offending is the mission, the audience needs to care from something. If your main characters are killers, fine, but they need to be fascinating and dangerous, not just horror movie and serial killer fans. A film like Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, which clearly influenced this, succeeded because we were thrown into the world and mindset of the killer. As fucked up as Henry was, one canít help but feel for him. Here, who the hell cares? These characters are bland, boring and anything but terrifying. Sorry, fellas, try again. This is bad. Offensively bad.
Video / Audio
None.
The Extras
None.
Last Call
If you really have an hour and a half to kill, go sit outside and stare at a tree. I mean it. Go outside and enjoy life.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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