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STAUNTON HILL
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Reviewed by: Matt Withers

Directed by: Cameron Romero

Starring:
Kathy Lamikin
Cristen Coppen
David Rountree

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
Some kids trying to get to DC run afoul of a fat, retarded farm family who are into killin' folks.
Is it good movie?
I've been staring at the screen trying to decide how to start this review for quite some time now. Since I don't have any great ideas for an opening, I'll just cut to it - this damn thing sucks.

To start with we have a recycled story about travelers caught by a dangerous family that adds nothing new to the concept, though it thinks it does. Which wouldn't be a problem if we liked any of the characters, but we don't. They're all thinly drawn, poorly acted, and take waaaaay too long to say nothing.

Then there's the direction - a weird mishmash of jumpy flashbacks, boringly static set-ups, and possibly the least colorful palette possible for a film set in autumn in the country. In addition the choice to shoot on DV destroys any feeling of reality given that that the film is set in 1969. The look and feel are all wrong.

I will say the gore effects are done extremely well. Unfortunately the way they're shot it feels more like watching an F/X test instead of seeing a character in jeopardy.

Usually a film this bad has some B-grade charm to it, but STAUNTON HILL fails to entertain on any level. I've had to watch many a bad movie all the way through for various reasons. I can't remember the last time it was this difficult to have to finish a film.

Video / Audio
Video: Widecreen, NTSC, 1.78:1

Audio: Dolby 5.1

The Extras
None.
Last Call
What we've got here is the apparent product of Cameron Romero (son of George) watching THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE and TURISTAS, then thinking, "Hey! I could mash those up in a shot for shot experiment like Van Sant did with PSYCHO, only my movie will be awesome!" And he is oh so wrong about that. I've rarely found it this painfully useless to watch an entire movie.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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