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THE BIG BANG (BLU-RAY)
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Reviewed by: Mike Catalano

Directed by: Tony Krantz

Starring:
Antonio Banderas
Autumn Reeser
Sam Elliot
William Fichtner

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
Antonio Banderas is an LA PI who gets hired by this big Russian boxer to find his missing stripper girlfriend as well as the $30 million in diamonds she stole. The search sends him on one wild trip through a seedy underbelly of bad asses, psychos, nymphos, scientists, and more.
Is it good movie?
When I saw the title of this flick, I thought it would be about either a large gun or an epic lay. Turns out I was wrong on both counts and, to be honest, enjoyed the movie less because of this. I could respect that the flimmakers were going for some kind of kooky, noir-esque style with the whole private investigator mystery thing and all these weird, offbeat characters. I just wish that the story offered up something really cool or super original to tie all the events together.

Antonio Banderas isn't a bad actor. I'm not necessarily a big fan, but I'll admit that he can be fairly efficient with his line deliveries. However, for some weird reason, I had trouble understanding a lot of what he was saying in BANG. I don't know if he was trying to speak in some sort of cool, slick way, but the accent got pretty muddled and also got on my nerves. Surprisingly, Mr. Banderas is not the only well-known actor attempting to make lemonade out of this lemon. There's Sam Elliot showing up towards the ending sporting horrifically long grey hair. Snoop Dogg makes a cameo that was supposed to be comical, but the dude's got about as much range as Tara Reid. The always great William Fichtner is completely wasted as some throwaway interrogator.

I will say that it was nice seeing the gorgeous Autumn Reeser (from that horrible LOST BOYS sequel) mixing things up as this brainy, but extremely sexual, waitress. She has a pretty amazing nude scene (possibly her first very clear one) where she's giving it to Antonio (which was a little weird considering he's probably old enough to be her daddy). But what really pissed me off about Autumn in all her glory was that she has these extremely strange and distracting line tattoos all over her chest and stomach area. I understand that the point of the tats were meant to be a comedic device to further show Reeser's character's braininess, but it didn't fit well within the proceedings. If you're gonna get a girl as hot as Autumn to do a major nude scene, you'd best NOT purposely f*ck with the look of her au naturel goods.

The severe defacing of Autumn's pretty parts is a prime example of what is wrong with BIG BANG and why I didn't like it. There are some very talented actors as well as a cool enough, R-rated concept here. Yet the filmmakers seem to feel like they need to add all this offbeat humor and odd quirkiness for the sake of, I don't know... being different? My point is, there is all this unnecessary exposition added to a bunch of things that just don't need it. Why? Well, I'm just glad I don't have to sit through it again (Ms. Reeser's sex scene excluded). I also just realized that there is a "Big Bang" (epic lay), so perhaps the flick's title was... uh, nah, it wasn't (didn't nearly last long enough to be epic).

Video / Audio
Video Widescreen 2.40:1

Audio English dolby digital with English and Spanish subtitles.

The Extras
An okay Audio Commentary by the director and a producer. Who cares? Why none of the actors?

A Making Of featurette.

A couple of Extended Scenes.

Last Call
A cool cast that basically went wasted. A mystery/noir theme that was ruined by unnecessary injections of quirkiness. This movie irritated me to no end. It's not completely unwatchable (especially when Autumn Reeser is on display), but there are many way better options available to throw in your Blu-Ray player.

ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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