Reviewed by: Andre Manseau
Bryce Fridrik Olson
Andrew St. John
What's it about
Stop me if you've heard this before- a few fellows pick up their dates with promises of going to a Halloween dance. Of course this isn't the real plan, no- they're taking their girls to an abandoned grapefruit farm (?), to say in an abandoned house. This isn't all; the house is haunted by the ghost of an old Caretaker who tortured his wife. They've set things up to be a haunted house, but when they stumble upon a real body, bad things start to happen.
Is it good movie?
So, it's just another slasher. I could honestly end the review here because I think most of our audience would know exactly what I mean when I say that this film really is typical and formulaic stuff. With that being said, the movie isn't a total dog, but there is almost nothing that sets this one above from the 200 other films that have been made in the exact same vein.
This one takes a long time to even get going. Besides the requisite scare at the beginning of the film, the group takes what seems like forever to even get to their destination. Then there's the relatively typical back story which is fine. And then when the bad stuff actually happens, you'll just watch along with apathy because there just isn't enough that is special to set this film apart.
What is Judd Nelson doing in this film? Very strange, especially considering he's head and shoulders above the rest of the cast, which leads me to mention Jennifer Tilly (who plays a TEACHER!). Now don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed some of her performances, but it would appear that the filmmakers simply gave her free reign to do whatever she wanted in this film. She essentially shows up and makes constant sexual innuendoes while wearing tight outfits. Maybe she had specific direction, maybe the character was supposed to be written that way, but her character really throws the whole film off the rails. Terrible stuff, really.
Now I suppose it is okay for a film to drip with 80s cheese and it is rather formulaic, and for those who truly relish that sort of thing, I suppose you'll dig it. I enjoy a good slasher as much as anyone else, but when there's nothing left to make you jump or at least marvel at the effects, then what's the point? Where's the fun?
Video / Audio
This one is presented in tragic fullscreen, which really never looks all that good.
Audio is not listed, but seemed to be Dolby 2.0and sounded alright.
Zero, zilch, nada.
I believe that this movie is self-aware and somewhat self deprecating at the same time. But we’ve seen tongue in cheek slashers that have been far, far better than this. Does this mean that The Caretaker is a complete waste of time? I don’t think i'd go that far, but as I’ve said many times before, don’t expect to remember it the day after you watch it.