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THE CONFESSOR
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Reviewed by: Rees Savidis

Directed by: Lewin Webb

Starring:
Christian Slater
Molly Parker
Stephen Rea

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
A disenchanted priest struggles to uncover the truth surrounding the murder of a gay hooker while clearing the name of the priest who’s been accused of doing it - Mason style!
Is it good movie?
I remember when Christian Slater was someone to watch, channeling Jack Nicholson in some of his best roles – ‘True Romance and ‘Heathers’ immediately spring to mind. He had a charisma and a cadence that was refreshing and exciting to see amongst the crop of “New Hollywood” types, a group typified by the likes of River Phoenix and Leonardo DiCaprio. Now it would seem, the poor fellow is relegated to keep company with the likes of Lorenzo Lamas, Dean Cain and Casper Van Dien on video store shelves.

To dismiss ‘The Confessor’ as a bad movie would be a definite misnomer. Bad isn’t the word for it…mediocre is much better. While I liked some of the ideas the film has to offer – the business side of priesthood, complete with credit cards and Cadillac’s – the space that these ideas occupy is so tired and retread that I was left wondering how they might play in a better movie. The writing and direction present here is on the same level as something made-for-television – and I don’t mean HBO.

Watching Christian Slater sleep-walk through ‘The Confessor’ – seemingly happy to just be cashing checks at this point in his career - I was struck by the strangest of notions: how blasphemous is it to have someone with Slater’s colorful past playing a man of God? From snorting fistfuls of cocaine and beating the shit out of his girlfriend to saying the Lord's prayer in front of a faithful congregation - it’s a laughably odd image to see.
Video / Audio
VIDEO: A decent enough 1.85:1 anamorphic transfer.

AUDIO: Dolby Digital 5.1. If there were explosions and machine gun fights, this might matter. As it stands, this incredibly talky movie comes across crisp and discernable.
The Extras
There is nothing on this disc save for an ass-load of trailers for other Sony Pictures releases. They are as follows: ‘Dark Kingdom: The Dragon King’, ‘When A Stranger Calls’, ‘The Cave’, ‘Blood of Beasts’, ‘The Fog’, ‘Into The Blue’, ‘Stealth’, ‘The Exorcism of Emily Rose’, ‘USS Poseidon: Phantom Below (Jesus!)’ and ‘Saint Ralph’. Whew, that’s a whole heap of mostly shit. Dig in!
Last Call
If you’re a fan of mediocre religious-themed-pot-boilers then ‘The Confessor’ might be just what was ordered. But if you – like me – look back fondly to the better days of Christian Slater, you might be better off avoiding this relatively routine one-note yawn fest.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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