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THE HORROR CONVENTION MASSACRE 2
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Reviewed by: Zombie Boy

Directed by: Joe Ostrica

Starring:


Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
It’s about an hour long.
Is it good movie?

No.

Okay, I guess I should get more into it than that. Here goes:

A couple of years ago, a group of people, led by director Joe Ostrica, decided to see if they could make a movie over the course of one weekend, at the Cinema Wasteland horror convention in Ohio. Unfortunately I have never seen it, but from the clips I have seen, apparently it is an orgy of visceral kills, punk rock music, and naked ladies doing terrible, naughty things. Sounds like a recipe for success to me.

Unfortunately, it does not work out so well with this second installment. Part 2 is a tedious bore punctuated by mindless bloodshed and slightly skanky women licking booze off of each other. Maybe I am just showing my age, but vicious kills without any emotional ties are boring. Which is not to say that some of the grue isn’t impressive for such a guerrilla affair, but with no character development, or story arcs, or personalities more in-depth than a semen puddle on the floor of Penn Station, it ultimately means nothing. And as for the nekkid chicks, if I want to see hot lesbian action, I can rent a porno and see the full monty.

Now, to counter Ostrica’s claim on the commentary that to complain about this kind of movie is silly, since you knew what you were getting into when you watched it, I will say that I honestly didn’t. I was sent the DVD-R, with no image or even title, save THCM2 (which meant nothing to me) so I am forced to review it based on its own merits…of which it has few (my two favorite scenes are one where you can see, plain as day, the cameraman reflected in a glass door, and another where you can hear, plain as day, the director feeding lines to the killer). Maybe if I had sought out this film, and knew the score before watching it, I could afford to be more generous. But hey, Nathan Schiff made his films for pocket change in people’s backyards on Long Island that were less insulting than this movie.

But if you decide to make a part three, call me, okay?
Video / Audio
There is no information on the disc, and there is no information about it online, so I don’t know. It is shot on video (duh) and generally looks good for what it is. The sound is mostly even as well, so no real complaints about image or audio quality.
The Extras
Zombie Walk: This is a quick bit featuring the Old School Sinema (the production company of this movie) Zombie Walk of 2007 going awry, and the zombies eating a chick. Reminded me of the scene outside the Winchester in Shaun of the Dead.

Trailers: There are three of them, for all three OSS films: THCM, THCM2, and Guys.

Music Videos: There are two music videos. One is for Uncle Scratch’s Gospel Revival, two dudes who were also in both THCM films, doing Lord Take My Hand. Meh. The other is for Horror of 59 doing Die My Way, which is live footage interspersed with THCM footage. It is a decent song, as far as Misfit wannabe bands go.

Audio Commentary: The commentary is provided by the director, and he is intelligent and engaging, which was, frankly, a shock. He stands behind his movie, and I credit him for that.

Drinking Game Rules: the rules are given by one of the stars of the film, Hot Carl, who has my vote for Person I Least Want to Meet in Real Life. I will say that the more you drink, the better this movie will get.
Last Call
If you are looking for a quick film showcasing lots of blood and titties without asking much from your frontal lobe, than this is your movie. You have been warned.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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