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TROLL 2 (BLU-RAY)
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Reviewed by: Pat Torfe

Directed by: Claudio Fragasso

Starring:
Michael Stephenson
George Hardy
Margo Prey
Connie Young

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about

Joshua Waits' family takes a trip to Nilbog for vacation by trading places with another family. Unbeknown to Joshua's family is that the town is infested with goblins disguised as humans. Seems the goblins are able to turn people into plant matter (green goop) by having them eat the local food. Now it's up to Joshua, his (dead) Grandpa Seth and a bologna sandwich to save the family from being eaten by goblins. Did I mention that there aren't any trolls involved?

Is it good movie?

Oh boy, here we go. For those of you who don't know about this film, it has to be seen to be believed. Yes, this is THE infamous TROLL 2. The stuff of which BEST WORST MOVIE was born. The film that has charmed the likes of my friends Marcey and Bede. The very film that spawned a YouTube meme that rivals SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2's 'Garbage Day!' clip. This is THAT movie. I know what you're thinking. There's nothing redeemable about this film, right? Well yeah, but that's part of the 'fun'.

The 'genius' behind this film starts off with the acting. Really, I'm not sure who does the best job, since everyone pretty much sucks. Michael Stephenson is probably the best of the lot, but that's not saying much, since everyone overacts to the point of being painful. The clear winner is Deborah Reed, who according to the IMDB was a contestant on Hollywood Squares. She won, by the way. She's a real winner here too, as she overacts to the point where you can't even tell whether or not she enjoyed working on this film. You also have George Hardy playing the partriach of the Waitses, but who looks like Henry Rollins with the presence of anyone but Henry Rollins. He loves his hospitality, and you don't dare piss on it since he can't deliver lines with any sort of weight to sound threatening. I almost failed to mention Joshua's dead grandfather, Seth. Played by Robert Ormsby, Seth appears at various times in the film, having the ability to stop time and offer advice to Joshua, along with molotov cocktails.

Remember, none of this is supposed to be funny.

What does it say about a film when the main villains' costumes were designed by an erotic actress? Well, it might be fun, if the film was a porno. But no, TROLL 2 is anything but. But yes, the goblins (remember, there are no trolls to be found in this film) were 'designed' by Laura Gemser (of BLACK EMMANUELLE fame). The 'designed' part is really just burlap, foam rubber and latex masks with moveable mouths. The rest of the effects are, well, there. Much like the movie itself.

I can see why there are people who love this film. It has a certain something about it, much like EVIL DEAD. Granted, EVIL DEAD is far more superior in quality than TROLL 2, but you get what I'm saying. The film's cult status earned it a documentary all its own which is even superior to the film itself. It's a fascinating study, I'm sure. One that will be undertaken by someone with more money and more time on their hands than myself. I can't say that I 'enjoyed' TROLL 2 in the common sense, but it was enjoyable in another. What that is, I'm not quite sure. Really, TROLL 2 is one film that has to be experienced firsthand.

Video / Audio

Video: Wow. Who knew MGM were TROLL 2 fans? So much so, the 1080p 1.85:1 widescreen transfer is a surprise in its clarity and colour. Granted, things aren't exactly pristine, but given the subject matter, you expect worse. Detail is a definite step up from the original 2003 DVD (which is included here, for some reason), as is the colour. Grain is present but not overwhelming. It seems that you really can polish a turd.

Audio: You have your choice of the film's original Dolby Digital 2.0 Mono mix or the new DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 remix. The remix doesn't stray too far from what the original mono track put out, other than some atmospheric sounds here and there. Overall, the remix sounds thin, with no real boost from the mono, but obviously offers a more full experience. Dialogue is hard to make out at some points, but this is TROLL 2, after all.

The Extras

Other than the film's trailer, nothing. This in spite of the previously-mentioned documentary, BEST WORST MOVIE, which is advertised on the front of the case but nowhere else.

Having a standard definition version on the included DVD is not an extra, by the way.

Last Call

It's TROLL 2. Everything about it is bad, but in an enjoyable way. This movie is best enjoyed (yes, enjoyed) with likeminded friends and a supply of alcohol, bottom line. Kudos to MGM and Fox for at least giving us the film with a nice transfer, but not much else. I think the idea is to 'make your own fun', in this case. Go grab the doc and the RiffTrax for the film, if you want the full experience.

ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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