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ULTRAMARINES (BLU-RAY)
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Reviewed by: Zombie Boy

Directed by: Martyn Pick

Starring:
Terence Stamp
John Hurt
Sean Pertwee

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
A CGI film about a group of super soldiers in the far future taking on evil forces on a distant planet.
Is it good movie?
I don't even know what to say about this movie. It is so far out of my scope of understanding. Apparently Warhammer 40K has been around since '87 as a table-top miniature game, video games, and books. I tried to read the Wiki on it, but my eyes glazed over. Suffice it to say that it takes place in the 41st century, and that there are all manner of sci-fi/fantasy creatures and themes happening. This is their first foray into films, and it concerns a group of super soldiers, genetically and cybernetically enhanced, responding to a distress beacon on a distant planet.

Apparently, in this future, war is all humans know. Mostly with alien races, but there has been so much violence for so long that chaos demons have appeared through rips in reality. There are straight up demons, and soldiers that are corrupted by chaos and become demon-like. And that's about it. These soldiers prep for battle, then go into battle, then battle some more, and then the end. There is no depth or subtlety anywhere to be seen. And when there are plot points, they are vague at best. There's some book, and a big demon, and he's going to destroy Macragge with it, whatever the hell that is.

This movie is depressingly bad. It is hugely overwrought, with male posturing and testosterone almost literally dripping off the screen. There is not even a feminine computer voice anywhere in the running time. The whole affair is like a 90-minute cutscene from a Playstation 2 game. I mean, the CGI is pretty bad. When making a movie about the distant future where everything is different, and eschewing plot for battle scenes on far off planets, and your main characters are all enhanced and wearing special armor, it might behoove you to spend less of the budget on big-name actors and more on the damned construction of the film.
Video / Audio
Video: Widescreen, 1.78:1, 1080p. All the high def in the world won't make this animation look any better.

Audio: Dolby TrueHD 5.1, with optional English SDH and Spanish subtitles.
The Extras
Into the Void: Making Ultramarines: This is actually a series of five featurettes, The Legacy, The Blueprint for the Battle, The Squad, The Art of War, and The Soundscape. They're all between five and ten minutes long, and are all the same format of interviews, BTS footage, and shots from the film. Pretty much all the info you need on the film is included here. Which for me was none, but whatever.

Between Chaos and Darkness: The World of the Space Marines: This is a very similar feature to the above ones, centered more on the Warhammer 40K universe than the film itself.

Creating the Daemon: A quick two minute discussion on the inception and execution of the main demon bad guy in the film.

Animated Graphic Novel: Ultramarines "Prequel":: The quotes are theirs, not mine. This 12-minute short is actually kind of cool. It is exactly what it says: an animated comic book. Kind of like a 3D vibe, with the camera moving in and out of the 2D action. If I liked comics at all I would have paid closer attention. But I can say unequivocally that it looks better than the film.

Rounding off the features menu is the requisite trailer.
Last Call
Maybe Warhammer 40K is totally awesome, but this offshoot film is crap. It looks bad, and is so totally overwrought as to be farcical. There is no plot beyond Big Soldiers Shoot Bad Demons. It was an absolute waste of 77 minutes of my life, not including the special features. Avoid.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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