HORROR DVD/BLU-RAY REVIEWS

Search by title # A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
VAMPIRES SUCK
Download Movie
Reviewed by: Andre Manseau

Directed by: Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer

Starring:
Jenn Proske
Matt Lanter
Diedrich Bader
Ken Jeong
Anneliese van der Pol

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
A spoof of vampire-themed movies, where teenager Becca finds herself torn between two boys. As she and her friends wrestle with a number of different dramas, everything comes to a head at their prom.
Is it good movie?
I cannot tell you how much contempt I hold for the the Friedberg/Seltzer combo. Any film that has ended with 'Movie' in the last decade (save for perhaps Scary Movie) has been an absolute atrocity. And I know they weren't involved with all of them, but stuff like Dance Movie, Epic Movie and Date Movie are some of the un-funniest 'comedies' I have ever seen. By unfunny, I mean there are no jokes. Someone will walk onto the screen looking like a pop culture celebrity (Borat, Paris Hilton), and then a big item will fall on them and crush them. That's not a joke. These movies are a mess. The plot is secondary and a patchwork of the Twilight flicks and oh let's be honest, you're here for the fart jokes.

Somehow against all that is holy and good, I am always subjected to these films one way or another. Vampires Suck is no different as my pal who works at the movie theatre offered to watch with me for free. I told him if he threw in some popcorn (my true vice) i'd be down for the cause.

To be honest, what I ended up with was the best one of 'these' movies I've seen in awhile. Does that make it a good movie? Well, not exactly. Is the writing better? Well, it's so-so. Here's the thing. Twilight really, really, really sucks. I don't care what anyone says- these movies are poorly made films regardless of the 'sentiment' they might conjure up. To be honest, making fun of Twilight is really, really easily accomplished.

All of the aforementioned pratfalls of the series are still in there, with stupid celebrity cameos and a lot of references to movies that have NOTHING to do with vampires or Twilight and believe me, they can be really unfunny. As expected, the film suffers from the same shortcomings all the other "spoof" films. It's filled with dated pop culture references, cheap visual gags, and a lot of potty humour.But the truth of the matter is that the filmmakers did a great job casting the phony Edward Cullen (Matt Lanter), and Bella (Jenn Proske) is absolutely SPOT ON in her ripping apart of Kristen Stewart's famed character. They're funny, although they're given a LOT of stupid stuff to do.

Also worth mentioning is Diedrich Bader, who is really funny as he almost deadpans the role of Bella's oblivious and stupid father. He got the most laughs out of me.

There's a lot of comedic talent in this film, but it isn't something you should rush out to see. Catch on late-night cable in a couple of years and maybe you'll dig it.
Video / Audio
Vampires suck is presented in 1.85:1 widescreen and looks really good. Colors are bright when necessary and the quality looks sharp.

Audio comes in English Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound and sounds just fine. No problems here.
The Extras
First of all, you get the choice between Rated and Unrated versions of the film. The differences are almost unrecognizable.

Next are about 5 deleted scenes that run a total of about 7 minutes long and are unfunny and deserved the axe. Then again if they cut all the stupid out of the movie, it'd be like a half an hour long.

There's also a 5 minute outtake reel, as well as trailer for this and a few other flicks.
Last Call
Twilight fans are going to watch this and laugh, which means it'll get some support. Non-fans won't laugh quite enough to enjoy it. If you don't care and hate all of these 'movie' movies, I'd likely avoid this one too. Just because it's better than the last bunch doesn't mean it is worthy of your cash.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

Mistress Of The Week

More
Evigan, Briana