Just the other day, I brought you the news that MACHETE's cast had grown impressively, the likes of Jessica Alba, Don Johnson, Jeff Fahey, and Steven Seagal joining the Robert Rodrigez/Ethan Maniquis film. But at that point, it was unclear just how all these folks would fit into the flick. Would they be cameos, or major parts?
Now we know.
Via a press release sent to us, I give you the MACHETE storyline: Machete (Trejo) a renegade former Mexican Federale, roaming the streets of Texas after a shakedown from drug lord Torrez (Steven Seagal). Reluctantly, Machete takes an offer from spin doctor Benz (Fahey) to assassinate McLaughlin (Robert De Niro) a corrupt Senator. Double crossed and on the run Machete braves the odds with the help of Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), a saucy taco slinger, Padre (Cheech Marin) his “holy” brother, and April (Lindsay Lohan) a socialite with a penchant for guns. All while being tracked by Sartana (Alba), a sexy ICE agent with a special interest in the blade slinger.
So there you go. Seagal is a drug lord, Alba is sexy, and Lohan is a socialite... I can dig it.