UNCONVENTIONAL MONSTER MOVIE PICKS
No vampires, no werewolves, no mummies for this Halloween viewing treat. Basically, all your average, run-of-the-mill movie monsters won’t be found in this category. What you will see are a couple of unique creatures that have made for some fun, terrifying movie massacres.
By far one of the most interesting and original horror movie monsters to come along in recent years, The Creeper is one bad-ass, body-munching mofo with an affinity for the oldie titular song. What separates JEEPERS CREEPERS from the countless other gore-inducing beastie flicks is that it is also packing a brain. Yes, writer/director Victor Salva actually weaves a pretty tight and genuinely scary yarn that you get tangled up in right from the get-go. It also helps that Justin Long and Gina Phillips (both pictured below) are brilliantly believable as the brother and sister duo that soon becomes the Creeper’s latest target.
The first half of the flick is an extra creepy back roads game of cat and mouse as Long and Phillips quickly become acquainted with El Creepo, who drives one mean, souped-up truck and dresses in a long trench coat and wide-brimmed hat (to appear more human). In fact, we don’t even see that much of him, yet his presence still looms heavily over the viewer along with the distraught brother and sister.
When we do finally get a better view of our scaly villain (above with Long), the movie shifts gears into fun-time slasher/stalker mode. This is where we get a good taste of The Creeper’s sick motivation as well as the insane shit he’s capable of.
I refuse to give anything further away. All I’ll say is, if you’re a fan of horror flicks and haven’t see JEEPERS CREEPERS yet, you truly owe it to yourself to fix this grave error. And Halloween is the perfect time to do so. You’ll get gore, thrills, laughs, and one hell of a monster.
The reason I’m picking the remake as opposed to the 1958 original should be fairly obvious. The original was a campy classic, while the remake possesses a better story, great scares, and a shitload of gore. You’d think that a monster who starts out basically as a small wad of pink snot would not make for a very memorable horror villain. And how wrong you’d be! This is one pissed off mass of slime, which grows in size every time it chows down on an unsuspecting bystander. There’s no voice, no expression, and no weapons; just this silent, hulking, pink glob and you know what? It’s pretty f*cking terrifying… and fun.
THE BLOB definitely feels like a wild ride, which features a pre-SAW Shawnee Smith and pre-ENTOURAGE Keving Dillon (both above) as two of the many “Small Town U.S.A.” folk attempting to escape the oozing entity that has miraculously entered their community. The Blob shows no discrimination whatsoever, freely eating up anything that gets in its path including women and children. It’s a brave move for director Chuck Russell to take, however it completely works in upping the big slime-ball’s ferocity.
You may even be surprised after watching this updated version of THE BLOB by how good it actually is. I honestly can’t think of a more enjoyable 80’s creature feature. It was very rare to find a monster flick over twenty years ago that truly cared about presenting a well-acted, well-thought-out story, especially when said monster is a trickling heap of jell-o. Yet this Blob has some strong legs that still seem to stand the test of time. Highly recommended!
Well, those are my picks. If you take my advice and give 'em a try, I hope you enjoy. If you don't take my advice, then go f*ck yourself! Just kidding! Have a sweet, candy-and-ass-filled Halloween! And do also try and catch John Carpenter's 1978 classic. It just isn't HALLOWEEN without at least a glimpse of The Shape's initial trip to Haddonfield. Trick or Treat!