INT: Alan Jones

Last Updated on July 28, 2021

The Arrow
interviews Alan Jones

I
met journalist Alan Jones on my “Exorcist: The Beginning”
set visit in Rome. Alan is a man that’s been imbued in the horror genre for a
while, having written for
countless horror magazines, written books on Dario Argento and hardcore
horror, having been involved in documentaries on Bava and Argento,
having started his own horror festival called “London FrightFest” and
even having partied with Sex Pistols cohort Sid Vicious. And that’s
just the tip of the ice pick. Needless to say, the man has lived a FULL
LIFE with the genre on his side thus far and he shares some of it with us here.

1- What’s your
favorite horror movie?

It’s tattooed on my arm.
It’s Dario Argento’s INFERNO. It’s my favorite for numerous reasons –
the main one being it’s the most perfect synthesis of everything Dario
had learnt up to that point. The dream-like narrative looseness, the
weird drug-laced Three Mothers mythology, the odd atmosphere, the epic
grandeur it oozes, the fabulous lighting. I do think it’s a
breathtaking work of art as you could freeze any frame and put it in a
gallery. I so still remember seeing this movie when it opened in
Britain (in 1981) and being riveted to my seat because I thought it
was just so wonderful. And I think Gabriele Lavia’s murder – the music
stopping and starting because of failing electricity – is one of the
cleverest and moodiest in the annals of horror. It was just after
INFERNO that I met Dario for the first time. I was shocked he knew who
I was and that I’d written features about him saying he was my
all-time favorite director.  So while THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
still remains my most frightening movie-going experience, INFERNO is
my fave ever because it encompasses everything I love about the
genre.  

2-
You’ve been a
genre journalist, since the 70’s having written for countless genre
magazines. You now write for ‘Cinefantastique’, review films for
“Starburst” and are a film critic for the ‘Radio Times’. What was the
trigger that set you on this hardcore “horror” journalistic path?

Funnily enough, I’ve just
written a feature on this for the British magazine The Dark Side. In a
nutshell, I’ve always been in love with
the genre anyway. As soon as I was old enough to be able to sneak into
an X film (as horror movies invariably
were in the UK – you had to be 16 to see them) I saw three seminal films
for me in a row, they were CIRCUS OF HORRORS, HORRORS OF THE BLACK
MUSEUM and BLOOD AND BLACK LACE. Right from the start those three
movies encompassed everything I’ve wanted
to see in a horror movie – camp nasty
villains, gory murders, sleazy sexploitation, great cinematography,
evocative music. I started writing reviews in my diary after I saw
these movies.

BLOOD AND BLACK LACE, and
to some extent Frankie Avalon in the BEACH PARTY movies, fired my
desire to see everything Italian. That’s why I traveled across London
to see THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE when it opened and why I fell
in love with Dario’s work.  I started writing for CFQ in 1977 mainly
through a series of lucky accidents. I literally was the right person
in the right place at the right time and
I have two people to thanks for that, my close friend Mike Childs who
I wrote in conjunction with in the early days (any excuse to get the
two of us on movie sets and to screenings) and Harlan Ellison who gave
me much encouragement about my writing technique when I was the most
unsure about it. 

3- In 1977, you
interviewed the entire STAR WARS cast and crew on location. Any fond
memories from that experience you’d like to share with us?

How lucky was this! No one
knew STAR WARS was going to be the phenomenon it turned out to be. At
the time the film was being made at Elstree Studios in London I was
still doing regular jobs. It wasn’t until 1986 that I could afford to
go freelance and make writing my career. I worked as a receptionist at
the Portobello Hotel, which at the time was a hip and happening
establishment in Notting Hill Gate. I’d go gambling with Richard
Dreyfus, have dinner with Richard Gere, get groupies for The Eagles,
listen to Carly Simon’s demo of ‘You’re So Vain’, book rooms for Abba
and hang out with Ryan O’Neal. The main cast of STAR WARS stayed at
the hotel. That’s how I got to talk to most people and that’s why I
still have a
pair of Harrison Ford’s jockey shorts to this day!  Any bidders?   

4-
You’ve been
involved with 2 documentaries one on Mario Bava and the other on Dario
Argento. Any other documentaries in the works? 

I had such a great time
making those two docs. Just meeting everyone involved in Bava’s world
was a dream come true. Having composer Carlo Rustichelli play his
theme from THE WHIP AND THE BODY for me on his piano, well, does it
get any better than that? I did try and talk my producer on the two
docs, Richard Journo, to do more Italian skewed career overviews. He
did try and get one going on Lucio Fulci but film clip clearance was
going to prove a nightmare on that and he abandoned it. Then there was
talk about a Pier Paolo Pasolini one. But I bowed out of that because
I’m not a fan – apart from SALO – and didn’t think I had anything to
contribute. My own ‘making of’ film company Wide Scream did the DOG
SOLDIERS extra for the DVD. My business partner Rel Pinto has just
done some filming for a CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG DVD featurette and I’m
involved in a HIGHLANDER ‘making of’ for the British DVD – Carl Daft,
the producer, and I worked together recently when I did the audio
commentary with Alejandro Jodorowsky for SANTA SANGRE.

5- Sid Vicious of
the “Sex Pistols” was a friend of yours. Looking back how were those
good old days? Lots of partying I assume?

Have you got a year to
listen to all the stories?  I’ve recounted my punk memoirs in so many
books now even I’m bored by my sex, gig organizing and lawbreaking
activities. I worked for Vivienne Westwood
in her shop ‘Sex’ for a while when the Pistols were forming. That’s
how I got to know them all. My close friend Nils Stevenson – who died
suddenly last year – became their manager after I introduced him to
Malcolm McClaren. The early days were fabulous, it was a non-stop orgy
of music, fashion outrage (I was arrested for wearing a porno T-shirt)
and street threats. If I’d known how culturally important those days
were going to become, I would have paid far more attention! I am
featured in THE GREAT ROCK ‘ N’ ROLL SWINDLE. My credit says ‘and
introducing Alan Jones’ so see if you can spot me. I talked all about
making the movie and how I screen tested for Russ Meyer in a 2002
issue of Mojo magazine.  I never took any other punk bands seriously.
It was only the Pistols for me. Dancing on top of one of the on-stage
speakers at the 100 Club in London’s Oxford Street will always remain
with me because it was so exciting. I’ll never forget having to clean
cum off the toilet walls in the El Paradise Soho strip club when they
did a one-off gig there either.  Happy times.

6- You’ve
contributed some memoirs to Alex Cox when he was writing “Sid and
Nancy”. What are your thoughts on the film as a whole? Would you call
it an accurate retelling of Sid’s life?

That was an interesting
experience. I’ll never forget the way it happened. I was interviewing
Alex Cox about REPO MAN that was about to be released and my
inevitable final question was, what are you doing next. When he said a
film about the life of Sid Vicious, I literally pinned him up against
the wall and told him it had better be accurate, that I knew Sid well,
that he was never the idiot he was painted out to
be etc… So the tables turned. Alex then interviewed me about my punk
days and much of what I told him ended up in the finished screenplay.
I also supplied him with all the phone numbers he was ever going to
need. I do get a great thank you during the end credits. Originally I
was going to be featured in the film. I
didn’t want that and so my character was transformed into the black
guy. I attended the Cannes world premiere of SID & NANCY and at the
party afterwards told Gary Oldman his performance was near perfect –
which it was.

Alex caught the right
anarchic feeling without succumbing too much to a political agenda –
the one thing I do so object to in treatises about the era. It was
about fashion, music and sex, never about the state of the nation.
Artistic license and commercial demands meant the events depicted
would never be an accurate reflection of exactly how it was. Sid was
never a tragic figure, he used to stay in my apartment, and I got to
know him well. He had a great sense of humor and was remarkably
intelligent. I even liked Nancy, I can still remember her arriving at
my place with a suitcase after one fight they had, and all it
contained was dirty knickers. “I didn’t know what else to pack”, she
said. I have been asked to write a book about those days but I’m not
sure if I want to. Sid’s death was a painful experience for everyone
close to him and I now just want to remember him singing ‘ My Way’. He
looks so handsome, iconic and charismatic.

7-
You’ve written 3
books “Saturday Night Forever”, “Mondo Argento” and “Nekrofile”. Any
other books on the way? What would you like to cover next? How about
the story of “The Arrow” (joke)?

I also wrote ‘The Making of
Tomb Raider’ for Carlton Books and I’ve just completed ‘The Making of
Tomb Raider 2: Lara Croft and the Cradle of Life’.  I adore Angelina
Jolie and did the second tie in because the film can only be a lot better than the original. Mustn’t knock
it though because the first book made me a best-selling author over
night. My next book, to be published by FAB Press in October 2003, is
PROFONO ARGENTO. That’s a complete update of MONDO including all the
interviews I did for the Dario doc that
were either dropped or had only one sound bite used.  I’m back in Rome
in two weeks to cover Dario directing IL CARTAIO/THE CARD PLAYER,
which will be the final chapter of the book. One whole section will
be devoted to Asia Argento who I’ve known
since she was ten years old.  I love SATURDAY NIGHT FOREVER though.
Many people think because I was so heavily involved in punk that’s all
I did. Disco is still my favorite musical genre and I primarily wrote
FEVER to prove to myself I could write about something other than
film. The reception it had overwhelmed me and I still get a thrill
when I see its translated edition on sale in Italy. I may be
publishing something about the new THUNDERBIRDS movie but at this
point nothing has been confirmed.  I would write the story of The
Arrow in a flash if it meant I could get up close and personal to my
favorite web master!

8- Director Dario
Argento and yourself have been joined at the hip for a while now. What
is it about the man as a person and an artist that draws you to him?

I’ve thought about this
question long and hard over the twenty years I’ve now known him. What
is it about any artist that makes you
respond to their work? It touched my heart in so many ways. When I saw
CRYSTAL PLUMAGE and CAT O NINE TAILS I had a sort of epiphany. So this
is what the cinema is for and can do? Initially I thought it was all
to do with the level of screen violence – unsurpassed in its day. You
know how we all like to see the envelope pushed – there can be no
other explanation for the popularity of CANNIBAL FEROX!  I’m not
embarrassed to admit I love watching blood on screen and I’m very
suspicious of any horror fan who thinks they have to justify that fix
in academic or political terms. It’s down to the thrillingly ethereal
nature of empty stylish Italian visuals
as ever.

I still find Dario an
amazing enigma. I’m not conceited enough to say that I know all about
his life but I have been privy to a great deal above and beyond what
would be normal for someone in my position
to witness. I find him lovable, impossible, arrogant, driven to the
point of being annoying and fiercely passionate. I’m the same. Perhaps
it’s that personal compatibility. I just love his work, I always have,
I always will – despite people continuously telling me he hasn’t made
a decent film since SUSPIRIA – and I will promote him tirelessly
because I promised I would at our first encounter and I never renege
on a promise. Dario’s impact on my life has been extraordinary in both
professional and private avenues. I’d say I owe him my undying
allegiance at least. 

9- Which do you
consider to be Argento’s strongest film and weakest film? Why?

Strongest would have to be
OPERA. Although I’ve always loved the movie, it grows in stature every
time I see it. It’s Dario’s cruelest, most nihilistic, thematically
cleverest and technically brilliant work. As much
as Cristina Marsillach was a total cunt to work with (OPERA was the
first of his movies I covered in production), she does give one of the
best female performances in any Argento movie. His weakest, not including the atypical FIVE DAYS OF MILAN,
is THE STENDHAL SYNDROME. Asia’s blonde wig! Her kissing a fish! Her
performance in general is terrible. I’ve found it interesting that
Asia’s worst work is for her
father. Is/was she so in awe of him? When you see her in CLOSE FRIENDS
or LA SIRENE ROUGE, she’s a revelation. STENDHAL is strung together,
not edited too. Although the initial concept is a great one – being
made ill by great art – no way does it
jell as a giallo and even by Argento’s off-hand storytelling standards
barely scrapes by. I had a good time on the movie and still count star
Thomas Kretschmann as a friend, but it’s a hopeless disaster. Many
people think PHANTOM OF THE OPERA is his weakest but I like that a lot
– plus I met Ennio Morricone because of it and will forever cherish
that memory. 

10- Being that you
have extensive knowledge of the genre; ever though of writing your own
screenplay for eventual production?

This is the question I’m
most asked. I know what I’m good at and I stick to it. That’s why I’ve
lasted in this business for 25 years. So many people come unstuck when
they think they can write a script.  I’ve never forgotten something
that happened to me when I went to Larry Cohen’s Hollywood house for
an interview about THE STUFF. I’d pounced on him in the toilet at the
AFM that year and asked if I could interview him. When I arrived at
his home, he said to me ‘If you are one of those assholes with a
script in his back pocket, you can fuck off’. I wasn’t, I never
thought of it, and I would never put myself in that position. It’s a
bit like asking people you interview for their autograph. I would
never do it even if I was their biggest fan. It changes the
relationship from professional to stalker in a nanosecond.  I have
many friends who are still trying to flog scripts and have done so
without any luck for 15 years. But having said that I have been asked
to produce an exploitation horror film next year.  We’ll see. The
ultra-violent script is currently being written and there’s a role in
it for you. Since the day we met and you told me you were also an
actor, I’ve thought about you for one particular part. I am being
serious here, so we must discuss.    

11-
You’ve
accomplished so much and lived so hard, is there anything left for you
to aim for? What are some of your future goals, if you have any left?

Aside from seeing if I
could produce a movie and not collapse when someone like me reviews it
badly, my major goal is to get my film festival FrightFest (late
August every year in London’s West End) recognized internationally. I
want it to be the Sitges of Great Britain. Sitges is my favorite
festival in the world. I love it, always
have a good time there and it’s a great opportunity to greet, meet and
interview everyone. Last year’s was fabulous with CABIN FEVER, CYPHER
and MAY and I want FrightFest to have that same effect on people. We
had great success in 2002, already have a nice line-up for this year’s
event and will be at Cannes to make sure anyone who doesn’t know what
we’re doing does so. I’m an eternal
optimist who always looks forward to the next set visit (HELLBOY), the
next great film (JEEPERS CREEPERS II), the next festival, the
next….whatever. If I haven’t done it, met them, been there or seen it,
I just have to.  I’m still the same fan I was at 14 and if I can put a
finger on anything that informs my
writing, it’s that love. That drive to still be scared in a cinema.
Plus I’ve always lived by the same code – I don’t care if people love
or hate me, as long as they never forget me. So far they haven’t

12- Sex, drugs
and rock and roll. Which one is your poison of choice?

It’s got to be Sex, Sex and
more Sex. I’m that shallow! My dick has gotten me into tougher areas
than even you could possibly imagine. But it’s a primal force in my
existence. There comes a point in everyone’s life when you do have to
recognize and own up to your vices and neuroses and either embrace
them or subvert them. I chose the embrace route. I’m full-on when it
comes to my sex life and couldn’t care less if my lifestyle shocks
anyone. Alejandro Jodorwosky and I discussed this a lot recently and
he said that only at 70 did he decide to give up on carnal pleasures.
He said he was relieved his sexual motivation was now over. I can’t
ever see my life getting to that point – ever. I either want to die
watching BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS or having a mega-orgasm – with
someone as lovely as you!     

I’d like to thank Alan for his time and wish him the best in his
future endeavors. The man is unique, talented, ambitious and one kool
dude.