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IT'S THE BOOZE TALKIN': Eff the Evil Dead Remake, Reboot, Sequel or What Have You

Jul. 19, 2011by: Ammon Gilbert

The one film that single-handedly defined the term “Cult Classic” for mine and all the other generations that followed was THE EVIL DEAD. Director Sam Raimi created this underground cult following of a film about evil spirits, an impressive chin, and balls-to-the-wall cinematography. I remember being a kid and being absolutely terrified of the VHS cover sitting in the horror section, of a woman being dragged down to the depths of hell. Great imagery, great movie. So popular on home video the film spawned a sequel / remake with THE EVIL DEAD 2: DEAD BY DAWN, a film that was able to capture the freakiness of the first but somehow managed to be its own monster and even added its own flare of humor and originality, escalating the series to a whole new level. This is the one I watched countless times through high school and into the dorm days of college. Then there’s ARMY OF DARKNESS, taking the story one step further into absurdity and ultimately going in a direction no one saw coming. Entertaining? Yes—but there’s a reason the series ended there and it wasn’t because of the clean up on aisle four.

Least to say, I love me some EVIL DEAD. And I’m guessing that the majority of horror fans out there love them some EVIL DEAD as well. As time has passed, ARMY OF DARKNESS has even found a fond place in my heart and I appreciate it for what it was—or at least what it was trying to accomplish. Raimi and star Bruce Campell have themselves a solid trilogy of awesomeness that should be left the way it is. But within the last week the shit has hit the fan and word has spread that THE EVIL DEAD will be remade—an EVIL DEAD remake. Just saying that makes me want to throw up all over myself. But after years and years of speculation, after the launch of the widely successful EVIL DEAD musical, after Raimi taking his EVIL DEAD roots and going mainstream, it looks like it’s actually going to happen. Well F*CK THAT!

Before Ghost House Pictures came right out and released a press release stating that newbie director Fede Alvarez would be taking the remake on or that Diablo Cody had been brought in to revise the script, the rumor was that this was going to be an EVIL DEAD 4 – a straight-up sequel that would supposedly star Campbell in a whole new evil adventure. My exact thoughts on the prospects of an EVIL DEAD 4? F*CK THAT! Why on Earth would they need to continue the story, why continue the series, why make another one when the trilogy stands (more or less) solid the way it is? All the main collaborators could be involved and my thoughts would be exactly the same: F*CK THAT. Because at this point, almost 20 years after ARMY OF DARKNESS, there would be only one reason to make another EVIL DEAD movie and one reason only: money. And despite it being show business, that’s a really f*cking stupid reason to make a sequel. For a series that owes its entire existence to underground fans (and NOT the mainstream), I can’t think of any more of a slap to the face of fans than doing a sequel. Oh wait—yes I can: by doing a f*cking remake!

I’m an angry bastard right now, my head’s not in a good place, and this whole bullshit of news that unraveled last week is the cause (get up to speed by heading over HERE, HERE, and HERE). And the thing is, it doesn’t feel like I’m alone. I think hardcore fans of EVIL DEAD like that it’s an underground success, that’s it’s not mainstream, and that in some odd way, it still feels (even after 45 different DVD and Blu-ray re-releases) like a gem that no one else knows about, that it’s something awesome that you discovered on your own and that only you and your friends like to watch and appreciate it. Doesn’t matter if that’s not the truth, it’s still an awesome feeling to have and once they f*cking remake that shit, that feeling will never be the same.

The only plus side to remaking or sequeling THE EVIL DEAD is that it’s a good way to turn audiences that normally wouldn’t have seen the original EVIL DEAD onto EVIL DEAD. Once the remake is in theaters, teens will be more likely to seek out the original film, if not to see what the hype around THE EVIL DEAD is all about. And while it may not turn every dope who sees the remake into fans of the original, it’ll likely spawn a number of new fans, and I guess that’s a good thing. But not a good enough thing to go through with taking on THE EVIL DEAD all over again—and the bigger question, who will they cast to take the part of Ash? Taylor Laughtner? Michael Cera? Ashton Kutcher? Anyway you slice it, no one (and I mean no one) will be able to live up to Bruce Campbell in the role. Whoever lands the gig will fail miserably, no matter how good their performance might be, there’s only one Ash and his name is Bruce “the Chin” Campbell. Nuff said.

Maybe it’s the booze talkin’, but F*CK this EVIL DEAD remake, reboot, sequel or what have you bullshit right in its evil cornhole! Any avenue of continuing the series at this point is f*cking stupid—it’s a solid trilogy of films, so leave well enough alone for f*ck’s sake! Ghost House Pictures should throw a bunch of money at this Fede Alvarez character to make something original, to make something for today’s audience to grab ahold of and fall in love with, not just another remake. And shame on Raimi for being on board this project, steering in this direction when he’s said for years that there wouldn’t be another EVIL DEAD movie, proving that no one is above becoming a money-grubbing douche, whoring themselves (and their life’s work) for a wheelbarrow of cash. I will never see the EVIL DEAD remake, but you know? After all this drinking and ranting, I’m ready to sit down with the original again and watch Ash kick all kinds of ass—no matter what mood I’m in, seeing that always puts in the right place.

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8:21AM on 07/26/2011
I like how you say at the end that your ready to watch the original and see bruce kick all kinds of ass... He gets his ass kicked and kicked and kicked and kicked until the final 3-5 minutes haha :P Jus Sayin'


I take that back if you meant his acting skills or just watching the Chin do his thang :)


And what can i say, f*ck the re-make, ALTHOUGH I'll have to check it out, maybe it could half-way live up to the series :/ Doubtful but who knows? Either way, this series will always be
I like how you say at the end that your ready to watch the original and see bruce kick all kinds of ass... He gets his ass kicked and kicked and kicked and kicked until the final 3-5 minutes haha :P Jus Sayin'


I take that back if you meant his acting skills or just watching the Chin do his thang :)


And what can i say, f*ck the re-make, ALTHOUGH I'll have to check it out, maybe it could half-way live up to the series :/ Doubtful but who knows? Either way, this series will always be close to my heart and that will NEVER change
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1:42AM on 07/21/2011

Somewhat agree

I almost always agree whole heartedly with these Booze Talkin' segments, however, I do have a couple of problems with this. First of all, I think you're one of the only people that wouldn't want a sequel with everyone still involved. I think any true Bruce Campbell fan out there would love to see him reprise the role that started his career, especially if they could keep the same vibe, but take it in a direction involving his age and what may have happened between Army of Darkness and this
I almost always agree whole heartedly with these Booze Talkin' segments, however, I do have a couple of problems with this. First of all, I think you're one of the only people that wouldn't want a sequel with everyone still involved. I think any true Bruce Campbell fan out there would love to see him reprise the role that started his career, especially if they could keep the same vibe, but take it in a direction involving his age and what may have happened between Army of Darkness and this one. Also, I think you give too much credit to Ghost House pictures, yeah they release some original movies, but almost all of them have been let downs. I do agree that a remake is completely stupid and that no one will ever replace Bruce Campbell, but like you said, this will reach the teens who have never heard of the movie or character of Ash, so they won't know what they've been missing. I guess the only good that may come of this is that when people watch this remake and it's the turd that it's likely to end up being, when people check out how awesome Bruce was in the originals, they will learn to love him just like all of his fans do!
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+0
5:24PM on 07/20/2011
Meh...bring it. It'll be awful, but at 30, I don't remember enough to feel heart-wrenching pain over it. And while I appreciate what it meant to the genre, the flick doesn't hold a special place with me.
Meh...bring it. It'll be awful, but at 30, I don't remember enough to feel heart-wrenching pain over it. And while I appreciate what it meant to the genre, the flick doesn't hold a special place with me.
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3:13PM on 07/19/2011
I am against this movie being made without bruce campbell, but if they are going to cast a lead it should be Shawn William Scott. He would be perfect for it, and please dont let this movie be PG-13 because that would be a slap in the face to the original.
I am against this movie being made without bruce campbell, but if they are going to cast a lead it should be Shawn William Scott. He would be perfect for it, and please dont let this movie be PG-13 because that would be a slap in the face to the original.
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1:41PM on 07/19/2011
Had the privilege of seeing the original Evil Dead in a theater when it first came out and it is one of my top 5 favorites.I just can't go along with this remake especially with who has been chosen to work on it. So not interested.
Had the privilege of seeing the original Evil Dead in a theater when it first came out and it is one of my top 5 favorites.I just can't go along with this remake especially with who has been chosen to work on it. So not interested.
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12:46PM on 07/19/2011

I...

I get that you're pissed off about the remake, but come on, there's been remakes of A Nightmare On Elm Street and Halloween already. Do you think anything isn't scared?
I get that you're pissed off about the remake, but come on, there's been remakes of A Nightmare On Elm Street and Halloween already. Do you think anything isn't scared?
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+1
12:35PM on 07/19/2011

They already remade it

It was called Evil Dead 2 lol! Only Bruce can be Ash!
It was called Evil Dead 2 lol! Only Bruce can be Ash!
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11:51AM on 07/19/2011

There is only one ASH!

his name is BRUCE CAMPBELL!
Hail to the King baby!
Fuck this remake.
his name is BRUCE CAMPBELL!
Hail to the King baby!
Fuck this remake.
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+12
11:47AM on 07/19/2011

...

EVIL DEAD without Bruce Campbell is a worst idea than A Nightmar On Elm Street without Robert Englund in muy opinion.
EVIL DEAD without Bruce Campbell is a worst idea than A Nightmar On Elm Street without Robert Englund in muy opinion.
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12:51PM on 07/19/2011
You can replace Robert Englund, you can\'t replace Bruce Campbell
You can replace Robert Englund, you can\'t replace Bruce Campbell
12:57PM on 07/19/2011
lol Read again, MAYBE you'll understand.
lol Read again, MAYBE you'll understand.
10:52AM on 07/19/2011
My only concern is whether or not the remake can be as awesome as the original. If they can't do it, let classic movies stay Classic.
My only concern is whether or not the remake can be as awesome as the original. If they can't do it, let classic movies stay Classic.
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-10
10:07AM on 07/19/2011

Cereal?

Another whiny thread complaining about remaking a 20+ year old Horror film? I really would like to know the ages of people who complain about this crap, because it's either some douche in his mid 30's who thinks it's still recent (to him, or course, the films are usually pretty dated) or some kid who want's to dogpile on with the other wankers. Remakes don't A) Unmake the first film, B) give new film makers a chance giving something a new spin, and most importantly C) if they suck they are
Another whiny thread complaining about remaking a 20+ year old Horror film? I really would like to know the ages of people who complain about this crap, because it's either some douche in his mid 30's who thinks it's still recent (to him, or course, the films are usually pretty dated) or some kid who want's to dogpile on with the other wankers. Remakes don't A) Unmake the first film, B) give new film makers a chance giving something a new spin, and most importantly C) if they suck they are forgotten about and the original still remains. Without remakes, we would not have cool shit like John Carpenters The Thing, David Cronenbergs The Fly, Chuck Russells The Blob, etc.
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10:42AM on 07/19/2011
No need for "name calling" to state a point... it kind of renders your point impotent.
No need for "name calling" to state a point... it kind of renders your point impotent.
2:09PM on 07/19/2011
As a 46 year old "douche" I think certain classics don't need a "new spin". The remakes you mention are a rare handful that improved upon the originals because the originals were limited by budget and FX technology on the scope of telling their story. They are almost completely different films. Evil Dead isn't the type of film that needs expanding or retelling. It was exactly what it was meant to be and actually benefits in atmosphere from it's low budget. Exorcist is even older, should that be
As a 46 year old "douche" I think certain classics don't need a "new spin". The remakes you mention are a rare handful that improved upon the originals because the originals were limited by budget and FX technology on the scope of telling their story. They are almost completely different films. Evil Dead isn't the type of film that needs expanding or retelling. It was exactly what it was meant to be and actually benefits in atmosphere from it's low budget. Exorcist is even older, should that be remade under your guidelines? That is another example of a perfect telling of it's story. There's nothing to expand upon. A movie like Phantasm... nothing to expand upon. The Thing, we went from a vegetable man to a shapeshifting horror that has yet to be equalled. See the difference? That's why we whine now and yet applauded Carpenter's and Cronenberg's work. Agreed it's a fine line but, some films can be expanded upon and some are perfect as they are. Evil Dead fall under the latter catagory. Oh and I don't see it as "still recent", I think "timeless" is more appropriate.
9:29AM on 07/19/2011
It's not the booze talking, it's common sense.
It's not the booze talking, it's common sense.
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9:24AM on 07/19/2011
on top of everything you said, considering Raimi has clearly stated that he wants to make a slew of PG-13 horror movies and also that studios are nowadays pressuring every director into making PG-13 movies, I can only assume that they will shoot for a PG-13 Evil Dead
on top of everything you said, considering Raimi has clearly stated that he wants to make a slew of PG-13 horror movies and also that studios are nowadays pressuring every director into making PG-13 movies, I can only assume that they will shoot for a PG-13 Evil Dead
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9:13AM on 07/19/2011
As unnecessary as it is, I'm not totally against a sequel if Raimi directed. Raimi showed he can still make a wild horror movie with Drag Me to Hell. I would never want to see a remake, it's would never be able to live up to the originals, and would prob just be lame as hell.
As unnecessary as it is, I'm not totally against a sequel if Raimi directed. Raimi showed he can still make a wild horror movie with Drag Me to Hell. I would never want to see a remake, it's would never be able to live up to the originals, and would prob just be lame as hell.
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+0
8:08AM on 07/19/2011
Agreed
Agreed
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