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IT'S THE BOOZE TALKIN': Eli Roth... give us Thanksgiving already!!!

Nov. 23, 2010by: Ammon Gilbert

In April of 2007 genre fan were given a treat of significant proportion: a double-feature known as GRINDHOUSE from directors Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino. Between the zombie fun of PLANET TERROR and the high-octane horror of DEATH PROOF, filmmakers like Rob Zombie, Edgar Wright, and Eli Roth provided fake trailers of genre films, contributing to a 3 hour love-letter to all things that are awesome. Since then one of the fake trailers (Rodriguez's MACHETE) has been made into a full-length film, but it's Roth's THANKSGIVING that truly demands the full-on movie treatment. With Thanksgiving hitting this week it makes me sit back and wonder (with a tall drink in one hand), where the hell is the THANKSGIVING movie already???


The poster and tagline are ALREADY classic!

The trailer was pure genius, plain and simple. Roth delivered a grungy, dirty, tasteless looking film featuring a serial killer dressed up as a Pilgrim, killing Turkey mascots, chicks on trampolines, and even stuffing a victim and serving her up as the main course on the dinner table. Like I said: pure f*cking genius! If there's one sub-genre that Roth seems to have been made for, it's the slasher film. Sure, CABIN FEVER was a slasher of sorts, but THANKSGIVING... this is a film that screamed of Roth's talent to direct entertaining and violent horror films. But it's been over three years since GRINDHOUSE and there's been lots of discussion of making the film happen, but here we are and still no THANKSGIVING--what gives?


Cheerleaders, boobs, and trampolines. What more could you possibly ask for from a movie?

You could argue that GRINDHOUSE was a box office failure, you could argue that THANKSGIVING works better as a trailer than a feature-length film (like MACHETE ended up being), and to each of those I'd say you're right. GRINDHOUSE was a box office disappointment and THANKSGIVING could be perfect just the way it is in trailer form. The thing is, I don't give a f*ck about any of that. I still think it'd be a rockin' good time as a movie, and I think Roth would make it one f*cked up ride that would be worth taking. Plus, who doesn't want to see a slasher flick set at THANKSGIVING (sorry THANKSKILLING, even with your killer turkey approach, you still don't fit the bill)???


Stop acting and direct something already!!!

The biggest F-U in the waiting process for this film to finally get made is Roth himself. His feelings got hurt after people hated HOSTEL II and in the years since has only directed the short film which appeared in INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (NATION'S PRIDE), and instead has acted in such flicks as BASTERDS and PIRANHA 3D. What the f*ck gives, man? You're a director! You're the guy who gave us CABIN FEVER and HOSTEL! So one movie didn't do too hot, get off your horse and just make a f*cking movie already--and by that, I mean to say--make THANKSGIVING already! You have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain! If it's made as grungy and as low budget as the trailer, the film would be a win-win for just about everybody involved.


When trailers invoke fan art, I think it's safe to say there's already a following for this film. Bring on the THANKSGIVING!

Maybe it's the pre-Turkey scotch talkin' that's making me nostalgic and shit, but it's this time of year that really makes me wish Roth would go ahead and make THANKSGIVING already, give the genre world a film we can all watch instead of post-dinner football games, and start new traditions in households across America. There's not a horror flick out there based around Thanksgiving, and goddamnit, it needs one! And Eli Roth's THANKSGIVING would the perfect tribute. Rumors have been going around for years that it'll happen someday, three years of rumors have contributed to nothing but... this. A rant by some drunk horror-loving a-hole asking Roth to stop acting and direct something already. Please, from all of us, please make THANKSGIVING! Your fans demand it.


HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

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Your Reply:



5:49PM on 11/23/2010

YES

THANKSGIVING NEEDS TO BE MADE INTO A MOVIE PLEASE ELI
THANKSGIVING NEEDS TO BE MADE INTO A MOVIE PLEASE ELI
Your Reply:



-12
6:38PM on 11/23/2010

Over rated

Eli, while I liked him as an actor in Inglorious Bastards and thought Hostel and Cabin Fever showed promise, sorry nothing since these. I was really out in an article I read how he tried to relate the whole tourture porn thing to the second Irac War and Abu [link] get over your self
Eli, while I liked him as an actor in Inglorious Bastards and thought Hostel and Cabin Fever showed promise, sorry nothing since these. I was really out in an article I read how he tried to relate the whole tourture porn thing to the second Irac War and Abu [link] get over your self
Your Reply:



7:48PM on 11/23/2010
I will forever remain on the fence about this project. Given the amount of time that's gone by, it may be near impossible to live up to the hype and promise the trailer showed. I think it would be worse for him to release something and have it fall flat, like Machete did. I'd much rather him keep taking his time and release something that he had the patience to craft, rather that just putting something out to appease the fans.
I will forever remain on the fence about this project. Given the amount of time that's gone by, it may be near impossible to live up to the hype and promise the trailer showed. I think it would be worse for him to release something and have it fall flat, like Machete did. I'd much rather him keep taking his time and release something that he had the patience to craft, rather that just putting something out to appease the fans.
Your Reply:



-13
7:51PM on 11/23/2010

No Thanks

Still waiting for Eli & Quentin to come out. It would explain ALOT, as if the "Bear Jew" thing wasn't bold enough.
Still waiting for Eli & Quentin to come out. It would explain ALOT, as if the "Bear Jew" thing wasn't bold enough.
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7:57PM on 11/23/2010

NO

No more Eli Roth please.
No more Eli Roth please.
Your Reply:



10:47PM on 11/23/2010

NO!

Thanksgiving was fine as a one off joke, but not as a feature length film. Roth is a horrible director.
Thanksgiving was fine as a one off joke, but not as a feature length film. Roth is a horrible director.
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+3
9:46AM on 11/24/2010

Dude has talent

The dude may be an ass but that doesn't mean he doesn't have talent. In terms of the three feature films he's made,one sucked. That's not a bad track record at all. And a Pilgrim on a killing spree??? Just saying that brings a smile to my face. Even if he went the MACHETE route and made it a real film with a real budget, it would STILL be a rockin' good time...
The dude may be an ass but that doesn't mean he doesn't have talent. In terms of the three feature films he's made,one sucked. That's not a bad track record at all. And a Pilgrim on a killing spree??? Just saying that brings a smile to my face. Even if he went the MACHETE route and made it a real film with a real budget, it would STILL be a rockin' good time...
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2:34AM on 11/29/2010

Yes to Thanksgiving!!!

Seriously, I am so happy you wrote this cause I have been waiting for this movie since Grindhouse. Whether you like Roth or not that trailer was totally awesome. I have read that he is producing a couple new movies, and that in a way is good news as I do like Roth's movies, but at the same time, who gives a shit??! This is the project everyone wants to see him make.
Seriously, I am so happy you wrote this cause I have been waiting for this movie since Grindhouse. Whether you like Roth or not that trailer was totally awesome. I have read that he is producing a couple new movies, and that in a way is good news as I do like Roth's movies, but at the same time, who gives a shit??! This is the project everyone wants to see him make.
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5:00PM on 11/29/2010

Make it please

I really don't get what the problem is. This is a slam drunk. Make Thanksgiving for next year.
I really don't get what the problem is. This is a slam drunk. Make Thanksgiving for next year.
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9:07PM on 11/29/2010

?????????????

Ahh, Is this a joke? Make this shit already!
Ahh, Is this a joke? Make this shit already!
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10:00PM on 11/29/2010

Do it.

For a three minute piece in a movie, I have to say it seems to have a huge following, and is talked about year after year. Slasher films don't have much of a plot anyway, so I think they could make this and it could be amazing.
For a three minute piece in a movie, I have to say it seems to have a huge following, and is talked about year after year. Slasher films don't have much of a plot anyway, so I think they could make this and it could be amazing.
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12:40AM on 12/01/2010

!

I totally agree with this article. There really needs to be a Thanksgiving horror film. Roth sucks if he doesn't direct this.
I totally agree with this article. There really needs to be a Thanksgiving horror film. Roth sucks if he doesn't direct this.
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5:47AM on 10/06/2011
When is this happening?
When is this happening?
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12:50AM on 10/27/2011

?????????

I just read this for the first time. Here we are a whole year later and I'm wondering when the hell this is coming out.
I just read this for the first time. Here we are a whole year later and I'm wondering when the hell this is coming out.
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12:54AM on 10/27/2011
I just looked on IMDB. Where is there info for this?
I just looked on IMDB. Where is there info for this?
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1:00AM on 10/27/2011

Roth is blowing it.

BEST THING Roth ever did. If he won't make this, he won't make anything.
BEST THING Roth ever did. If he won't make this, he won't make anything.
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1:34AM on 10/27/2011

Probably on its way

A year ago he said he was gonna write it with his partner. The script is probably done now.
A year ago he said he was gonna write it with his partner. The script is probably done now.
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