One of the best cinematic moments of 2010 happened when Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, and Bruce Willis all shared the big screen together in THE EXPENDABLES, even if it was less than 5 minutes long and featured zero action—having the trifecta of 80s action heroes in one place was the moment action fans have been waiting for for decades. THE EXPENDABLES 2 appears to give us Schwarzenegger blowing shit up with a machine gun, Willis laying the proverbial smackdown, and Stallone kicking all kinds of ass, giving what we really wanted out of those three the first time around—action heroes doing action things. Except this time it’s PG-13… which is about as whack as anything else you could possibly imagine.
And while the news of EX2 being PG-13 is f*cking ridiculous and leaning on the side of absolute bullshit, not all is lost… as it appears this won’t be the last time Stallone and Schwarzenegger will share the big screen together. In the aftermath of the pussified PG-13 EX2 news, we’re blessed with the recent news that Arnold and Sly will be teaming up together again in THE TOMB, a supernatural thriller about ultimate security systems gone horribly wrong (read all about the details HERE). And from all accounts, the film appears to be on the R rated side of things, a film that’s allegedly going to be dark and gritty, and while maybe not the action extravaganza as EX2, it’ll be the match up we’ve always wanted to see: Schwarzenegger and Stallone at the top of the marquee, poster, and the silver screen.
How many theatrical showdowns did I run through my mind growing, seriously wondering who would win in a fight between the Dutch and Rambo, or an arm wrestling match between Tango and John Matrix, or even the ultimate sci-fi showdown between Douglas Quaid and Judge Dredd? Celebrity Death Match was invented because people wanted to see Arnold and Sly take each other on across the silver screen, but for one reason or another, while they were in their prime, it never happened. Egos probably had something to do with, or maybe they were just too damned busy to do anything but their own shit or their managers were assholes—whatever the reason, it doesn’t really matter now, cause Arnold and Sly are now going head to head in THE TOMB, yo!
And because they’re going head to head and mano y mano without the likes of Willis, Norris, Van Damme, or Lundgren in the midst, it feels like a way bigger deal than anything EX2 could think about being—this isn’t a vehicle for all classic action heroes to pussify themselves in a PG-13 movie (come to think of it, has Lundgren EVER been in a PG-13 movie???), this is a vehicle that’s solely Arnold and Sly… can I get a F*CK YEAH!?! Naysayers will knock Arnold for not having the acting chops anymore, but I have to believe that THE LAST STAND is gonna be awesome, and only then will we really be able to tell if he has it in him for THE TOMB (I’m assuming whatever he does in EX2 won’t be a whole helluva lot). We’ve seen Sly plenty of times in the last few years, and after EX2 and BULLET IN THE HEAD, they both have the potential to be on top of the world again as a couple of superstars by the time THE TOMB rolls around.
Maybe it’s the booze talkin’, but the excitement level is tenfold over the limit of awesomeness for THE TOMB than it could ever be for EX2 in terms of being the ultimate Arnold / Sly movie I’ve always wanted… and a supernatural kinda flick to boot! Call it my dislike for EX2’s sellout PG-13 rating, or knowing that the two of them probably won’t share a whole lot of screen time together, but my money’s on THE TOMB for delivering the Arnold / Sly epic that we’ve been waiting more than 20 years to see. Let’s just hope the two have more to say to each other than just a flurry of being old jokes.