This Sunday one of the greatest television shows on TV right now premieres for its third season: THE WALKING DEAD. It’s been a long time since we last left our group of survivalists outside an ominous prison in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, and in that time my frustration with Season 2 gradually went away and was replaced with extreme like—it’s a damn fine show. But now that Season 3 is approaching, I’d like to see a few things happen (or not happen) so I thought I’d crack open a case of Miller High Life and jot down my wish list for Season 3 of THE WALKING DEAD, with the hope that one person who knows someone who knows someone else who knows someone working on the show will pass the word along and maybe one of them will be answered.
Wish #1: No more power struggles between the group and Rick Grimes. My hope is, after his final speech by the fire in Season 2, these ungrateful jerkweeds will realize that without Grimes’ leadership, they’d all be dead. No ifs, ands, or buts about it: they’d all be dead or they’d all be walkers (which is pretty much the same thing, I guess). Now that Shane is out of the picture poisoning the thoughts of the collective group, and there’s no more Dale to question every decision, my hope is that they all follow the lead of Daryl and realize that Grimes is their only hope so stop f*cking around and listen to what he has to say.
Wish #2: Lori needs to shut the hell up. Now that Shane is gone and the love triangle is back down to a one-on-one level, Lori needs to stop acting like a wounded puppy all the time and stand by Rick. No more arguments about why she did what she did with Shane—why can’t she take a f*cking hint already? Rick understands, he forgave her, move the f*ck on and stop dwelling in the past! Since she’s pregnant they’ll likely make her even more emotionally out of control, which is fine if it’s every once in a while, but if it’s a current theme I might have to punch myself.
Wish #3: Give us more T-Dog! There were times in Season 2 where I completely forgot that T-Dog even existed. They never wrote him out completely, but they might as well have as he does nothing more than just stand in the background and look concerned through a few of the episodes. I know there are lots of characters to give time to, but I feel like T-Dog should be given more time in the limelight as I think he’ one of the coolest characters on the show and he has potential for being a zombie-killing badass, he just hasn’t been given enough to do for the audience to really tell what his story is and what he’s all about. Bring on the T-Dog!
Wish #4: Two more main characters become zombie food. Even though the group lost a few members last season there are still a few members that need to go away forever. First to die: Carol. She’s lost her husband, she’s lost her daughter, and she’s one of the most annoying characters on the show. Just do away with her, she adds nothing except a headache, and honestly it’s pathetic to see her warming up to Daryl all the time—there’s no way those two will ever end up together and it’s sad that she keeps trying to land him in the sack. The best thing she can do is die and maybe give Daryl a new sense of rage and vengeance. The other character that needs to be taken out? Carl. F*ck you, Carl. I hate Carl. Maybe not the character so much as the actor portraying him, but he’s the little boy version of Carol, always whining and being annoying with this dumbfounded looks and his over-sized sheriff hat. He’s always getting lost and wandering around by himself, should be pretty easy to take him out of the picture.
Wish #5: Give Glenn some balls. I like Glenn a lot. He’s one of those dudes that knows more than people think he does and he’s more capable of f*cking shit up than people give him credit for. He’s already mackin’ on Maggie, so he doesn’t need help in the lady department, but no one really listens to the guy. He could be as big of a leader as Rick is, yet because he’s so soft spoken or not as aggressive or whatever, he’s still just a guy they go to when they need something done. Glenn needs to step up to the plate and become the second in command behind Rick. Hell, maybe now that Shane’s gone, this will happen.
Wish #6: Zombie Bonanza! The show thrives on its drama, thrives on its dynamic characters, and thrives off the whole post-apocalyptic situation they’re in. It also thrives off of zombies, and if there’s one thing this show could use more of, is more f*cking zombies. I want some sort of zombie attack in every episode, I want nasty gurgling sounds and blood-splattered sequences to shine through every time a new episode runs… if Season 2 taught me anything, it taught me that the show needs it’s zombie attacks… or else it turns drab and tiresome.
Maybe it’s the booze talkin’, but I have high hopes for Season 3 of THE WALKING DEAD to blow the other seasons out of the water in terms of overall awesomeness and epic television. But for it to accomplish such a high status, I want to see a few things happen. More Rick badassness, less Lori bullshit, more T-Dog and Glenn stepping up to the plate, and just kill Carol and Carl already! And zombies… please let there be more zombies. I haven’t read the graphic novel series so I have nothing to compare the show to, I don’t have any idea what to expect at the prison or what else this season may have in store, I just want to see a few things happen that, if they were to happen, would make me a very happy camper. But we shall see when THE WALKING DEAD Season 3 premiers this Sunday night only on AMC! I’m gonna be there… are you?