IT’S THE BOOZE TALKIN’: Eff the BBFC for Banning The Human Centipede 2!

Last Updated on August 5, 2021

One of my favorite horror movies of 2010 was Tom Six’s THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE. The film had an interesting look to it, it was well made, and maybe most of all, it was effective. The name itself still sends a grotesque revulsion down my spine every time I think about the idea that is the “human centipede” and the film’s execution about tricking the audience into thinking they actually saw something gory and graphic in nature. One of the pure genius of the film is that you actually don’t see a whole helluva lot, at least the really nasty shit, it’s simply implied and your imagination does the rest. That’s f*cked up… and totally awesome. For a horror movie to have that effect on people in this day in age, well… I gotta give the film props. It also makes the news this past week that the BBFC has banned THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2 in the UK all the more f*cking stupid. The film isn’t even finished yet, yo!

Censorship is one of those things that takes the rights we have as adults and as human beings away—some assclown sitting in an office in some fancy-pants building somewhere is making decisions about what YOU can or can’t see, and that’s f*cking bullshit. Maybe it’s the horror fan in me, maybe it’s the fact that I like making decisions for myself, or maybe it’s because I think rating boards like the British Film Board of Classification (BBFC) and the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) are f*cking stupid that has me in a rage like never before on this whole banning business of HC2. I mean, banning it? Seriously? What could possibly be the point of banning a movie like HC2? To give it more of an audience willing to seek it out? To give it the credit of being able to say that it was banned in the UK? I know the answer they have, something about decency guidelines and some other horseshit, but really the answer is simply the BBFC is run by rich white dudes who need to control what the people see or watch.

What blows ass even more about this is the fact that HC2 hasn’t even been finalized yet! That’s right, this banning is based on an early cut of the film and the script, as the filming just wrapped and the film is still in post-production (at least, according to its IMBd page), which means they didn’t even give director Tom Six a chance to recut the film or to make changes to the final product or anything at all—they saw it, were grossed out by it, and decided it was too gross for anyone in the UK to see it (legally, at least). You know something is seriously f*cked up here when the BBFC makes the MPAA look like the f*ckin’ coolest film review/rating board on the planet. The MPAA would at least give it a rating, or give it opportunities to re-cut and re-submit the final product, or maybe best of all, it will allow them to not submit it altogether and let them release that shit as UNRATED, which HC2 will undoubtedly be. And for the BBFC to shed positive light on the MPAA… that’s f*cking saying something.

Maybe it’s the booze talkin’, but the BBFC banning THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2 is biggest case of bullshit I’ve heard in a long time! Eff that! At this point, the fact that HC2 will undoubtedly be more disgusting, more grotesque, and more all-out disturbing than the first film (which is crazy to think about) is besides the point. Who gives a flying f*ck? This shit is banned, which means the BBFC just lifted it up and put it on a pedestal that it normally wouldn’t have been on. Now it’s too f*cked up for the entire UK nation to see? They just created a whole new audience of people will make it their mission in life to see this f*cking movie. What’s even more ridiculous about this whole thing is that I live in Seattle U.S.A., which means that this banning really doesn’t affect me at all! IFC Films still holds the right and will still have no problem releasing HC2 in the States, which means I’ll be able to never unsee the atrocities that take place in HC2 just like I haven’t been able to forget the nastiness of HC1. But goddamn it, this whole UK banning still pisses me off!!! And yet all this ranting and raving will fall on deaf ears… giving me all the more reason to drink…