Arrow in the Head's Top 10 Horror Hotties of 2013!
'Tis the season to recall all of the gorgeous ladies who graced our screens throughout the year. Thankfully, 2013 did not disappoint one bit: we have blondes and brunettes, Aussies and Americans, sex kittens and cuties. Of course, we had to pare down the crop somewhat, but we're fairly confidant the ten hotties we've come up with will sate your appetite for a retrospective of 2013's best beauties. Let's get it on!
She's not in it very much, but Pom makes an indelible impression in Spike Lee's mixed-bag remake of OLDBOY. Playing Haeng-Bok, Sharlto Copley's silent bodyguard (and possibly more?), Klementieff cuts a striking figure and, when she has to, a rather scary one. There are plenty of mysteries swirling around OLDBOY, but one of the more surprisingly alluring ones is just what the deal is with this sinister stunner. Can anyone say "prequel"?
I wasn't quite as fond of WARM BODIES as many of my cohorts (it's passable, but little more), but one thing to celebrate about the zom-rom-com was the presence of Teresa Palmer, the thoroughly lovely Australian who plays the object of a shambling ghoul's affection. This element of the film had a sharp ring of truth: If we were members of the undead who still had the capability to make goo-goo eyes at cute chicks, Teresa would absolutely capture our cold, dead hearts. Hey, she captures our cold, dead hearts right now!
No one in particular was yearning for a remake of EMBRACE OF THE VAMPIRE, which was basically the CITIZEN KANE of soft-core vampire flicks back in its day, but who among us is actually prepared to resist
a soft-core vampire flick - it's always just what Dr. Guilty Pleasure ordered. And while this EMBRACE is no masterpiece, the remake at least introduces us to one Ms. Sharon Hinnendael, a fresh-faced beauty unafraid to shed her garments and get it on with the guys and dolls alike. No, you cannot resist.
Usually I'm more partial to the Final Girl in a slasher flick like this, but in TEXAS CHAINSAW there's no denying that it was "easy" Nikki who grabbed my attention… and more. Previously I had been familiar with Ms. Raymonde thanks to her timid character on "Lost," but she certainly showed me a whole new side as an amorous, short shorts-wearing hussy in this silly sequel. No, you can't sympathize with the tramp too much, but that doesn't mean we can't lament the fact we don't see more of her. Much more… (Sigh.)
There's just something about that face, isn't there? At once delicate and seductive, it's one of the great kissers gracing our big and small screens today. Vera Farmiga is quickly becoming the First Lady of Frights… and hot damn, we're just fine with that. Having flexed her chiller chops in flicks like JOSHUA and ORPHAN, Vera cemented her status as a primo horror babe with two outstanding characters in 2013: the disturbed medium Lorraine Warren in THE CONJURING, and disturbed - not to mention disturbing
- Norma Bates in "Bates Motel." Dunno bout you, but I'm anxious to keep watching both characters do their respective things for years to come.
From badass chick who helped kill Bin Laden to… bass-strumming goth girl in a Guillermo del Toro production? Jessica Chastain is awesome just for following up ZERO DARK THIRTY with a showy turn in a mid-budget horror movie in which she has to don an unflattering wig and an octopus tattoo. And, of course, she totally pulls it off. MAMA has several strong elements working in its favor, but without Chastain's supremely engrossing - and sexy - performance, it wouldn't be nearly as enjoyable.
Okay, the movie is stupid - really stupid - but there's no denying the odd appeal of watching Gretel, played by the impossibly beautiful Gemma Arterton, opening fantastical cans of whoop-ass on CG witches with a variety of old-timey contraptions. Gemma is super-model sexy as well as a talented actress (check out THE DISAPPEARANCE OF ALICE CREED for further proof of both); she enlivens this goofy movie every time she graces the screen - which thankfully is often.
So what if the movie is six years old - it just came out properly here in North America, and I'll be damned if we don't raise a glass to one of cinema's great blond bombshells, Amber Heard. In ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE, Heard plays the most desirable girl in her town, which might be the smallest stretch the actress will ever tackle. Of course, we ultimately find out that there's more to Mandy than meets the eye, which is equally true of Heard, who isn't just smoking hot but a splendid performer. (Although you'll have to watch DRIVE ANGRY and THE WARD to really see her flex her goods. So many goods...)
The award for most flat-out adorable person in a movie this year - or perhaps ever - goes to Nora Arnezeder and her amazing face in MANIAC, a movie that is nothing but darkness and depravity unless her elegant visage is on screen. Though our "protagonist" in MANIAC is the sick, pitiful Frank (Elijah Wood), a psychopath with mommy issues who really just needs a special friend, our heart and rooting interest belongs with Anna, whom Arnezeder makes such a warm, lovable presence. And that sensual French accent is just the cherry on top.
Strong is sexy. Smart is sexy. Drilling someone's head with a blender… well, not usually sexy, but Sharni Vinson pulls it off. The Aussie cutie blew us away as Erin, an adorable, seemingly docile girlfriend who shows surprising resourcefulness (and how!) when she and her boyfriend's family find themselves under attack by masked murderers. She's not just the
Final Girl to beat in the new millennium - she's one of the most memorable horror heroines ever. I don't know how they could conceivably do it, but I'm all for a YOU'RE NEXT 2 - we need more Sharni in our lives.