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Happy Friday the 13th! Top 10 Friday the 13th Kills Part 2!

07.13.2018by: Jake Dee
F*ck yes! Happy unofficial horror holiday friends...few things are more enjoyable than a summertime Friday the 13th!

Way back in 2012, we highlighted our Top 10 Favorite FRIDAY THE 13TH deaths, which included the awesome iconography of everything from triple machete-decollation, harpoons through the eyes, sleeping bag bashing to one-punch decapitations, arrows through the throat, and liquid nitrogen face-shattering. And you know what? Ten just ain't enough, is it? Now we present the encore. Ladies, gents...have a bash with our Top 10 Favorite Friday the 13th Kills Part 2!

#10. HOT SAUNA STONE TO THE HEART (FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN)

Lets kicks this summertime soiree of with a goddamn simmer! Straight up, one of the most wildly overlooked Voorhees deathblows is also one of the most inventive. It comes in the lower-tier JASON TAKES MANHATTAN, and early on, which might account for the oversight. Regardless, a random boxer looking for a little refreshing relaxation, gets anything but when Voorhess storms in, lifts a smoldering hot sauna stone and abruptly buries the thing in the boxer's heart...Mola Ram style! I always love when Voorhees goes out of his killer-comfort zone and uses weaponry other than his faithful machete.

#9. JOSH'S FACE MELTING (JASON GOES TO HELL)

Good gravy, what the hell are looking at here? Oh, f*cked-up-face-gravy from hell, JASON GOES TO HELL, that's what it is! Sheesh. It's no controversy to say JASON GOES TO HELL is the outright most violent and graphically unflinching Voorhees movie to date, and this sequence here ought to be recognized for being one of the main reasons why. When Deputy Josh gets caught in a purgatorial transition between Voorhees' hosts, this sick f*cker's face turns into a viscous, flesh-melted puddle of blood, bone and flesh! Never mind if it feels like a scene from a Fulci flick, this shite is just about as gross and gag-inducing as any death scene in the franchise.

#8. DR. CREWS' WEED-WACKING DEATH (FRIDAY THE 13TH VII: THE NEW BLOOD)

And y'all thought old Bernie Lomax couldn't die. F*ck that, mustachioed or not, Terry Kiser couldn't escape the baleful blade of Jason Voorhees, even when selfishly sacrificing Tina's mother in a half-cocked attempt to do so. Uh uh. For this special brand of abusive asshole, Jason had to up his game a bit, add a little spice to the arsenal. My man somehow finds a giant brush-clearing weed-wacker, equipped with a 12-inch circular-saw mind you, and gives Lomax (okay, Dr. Crews) the motherf*cking business! It's always lamentable the way A NEW BLOOD suffered drastic cuts by the MPAA, but this one cuts deep!

#7. JEFF & SANDRA'S DOUBLE-IMPALEMENT (FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2)

Fans of Bava's seminal slasher forerunner BAY OF BLOOD knows full well of the unabashedly ripped-off double-bedroom-impalement Steve Miner put in FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2. And you know what, we're okay with it! It's too good, too grimy and grisly, even if it is almost a shot-for-shot homicidal homage. However, after the piercing penetration, Miner goes one further by showing the gore-ridden corpses of Jason's victims, Jeff and Sandra. Voorhees flings Jeff into the corner, where the next victim unwittingly stumbles upon his bloody remains and nearly faints. Can't front on a two-for-one!

#6. SAMANTHA'S HUNTING KNIFE IMPALEMENT (FRIDAY THE 13TH PART IV: THE FINAL CHAPTER)

This one might be a personal pick more than a universally recognized standout death scene, but so be it, I f*cking love the graphic depiction and first-rate Savini makeup and FX of Sam getting jousted with a hunting knife - through her stomach and out through her spine - while in a raft after skinny dipping. Simply put, the shite looks real. Well, aside from that goofy ass face Sam's pulling right before she's impaled, that is. I think of all the directors in the franchise, Joseph Zito got away with showing the most abject carnage onscreen. Here the imagery is brutal and believable, but also held long onscreen.

#5. SHERIFF GARRIS' FOLDED BACK BREAK (FRIDAY THE 13TH VI: JASON LIVES)

Damn, peep the glute-work on Voorhees! Seriously though, JV waylays a whole lot of motherf*ckers in JASON LIVES. And yet, one that always stands out to me is one in which the vicious Voorhees doesn't use an exotic weapon, or even his trusty machete, but the simple brute force of his bare hands. You know what's up. When Sheriff Garris dashes through the woods in either search or evasion of Voorhees, he cannot outrun his murderous maker. Jason catches up the hapless sumbitch, folds him in half like a goddamn lawn chair, snapping every bone in his back and rib-cage along the way!

#4. RICK'S CRUSHED-HEAD EYE-POP (FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3)

Man, I always hated Rick...the way too old frat-boy father-figure trying to weasel his way into Chris' panties. Screw him and his periwinkle sweater! With that, full on rejoice comes every time I revisit FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3 and witness the hilarious attempt at a shocking three-dimensional death when Voorhees crushes Rick's head with his bare hands so hard that his eye pops right out at the screen...on an obvious wire! It's essentially the flip-side fatality to Vera catching a harpoon through the eye. One goes in, one goes out. Still, the damaging death-style mixed with the detestable victim is what counts!

#3. MEAT-CLEAVER TO JIMMY'S FACE (FRIDAY THE 13TH Iv; THE FINAL CHAPTER)

One of the reasons ol' Jimmy's grisly demise in THE FINAL CHAPTER is so effective is because Crispin Glover makes him one of the most likeable characters in the entire franchise. Of course, Voorhees doesn't like Jimbo one iota, as evidenced by the merciless murder he treats the poor bastard with in the kitchen of the cabin. First driving a corkscrew into Jimmy's hand so he can't escape, Voorhees follows with a swift burial of a meat-cleaver into Jimmy's face. Shite's no joke. Framed tightly and graphically, with no cutaways, with top-notch makeup and FX work by Tom Savini on full display.

#2. ANDY'S MACHETE DISEMBOWELMENT (FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3)

Damn, I don't know how this one missed the cut last time around. Because, let's face, one doubly nasty cut it is. Remember the hand-standing Andy in FRIDAY THE 13TH 3D? Well, this dude gets gorily obliterated in a two-part deathblow that easily ranks among the franchises most memorable fatalities. When walking down the hall on his hands, Voorhees suddenly appears and delivers such a forceful, abruptly violent machete-blow to Andy's torso, splitting it completely in half. The next shot of him we see is the gruesomely disemboweled remains folded up and hanging from the rafter. Shite's harsh!

#1. THE DECAPITATION OF FREDDY KRUEGER (FREDDY VS. JASON)

F*ck that, Jason won the epic clash between he and his contemporary horror heavyweight Freddy Krueger. Never-mind that weak wink and nod to the camera...my man Voorhees chopped that odious bald pate right the f*ck off! And even before that, my guy inflicted way more bodily harm on the pedophilic jester than the reverse. Peep the photo. Little midget Freddy has an arm lopped off, his own knife-glove gouged through his chest. No contest. And yet, it ranks #1 because of the opponent...the defeat of which makes Jason the top slasher in all the land!

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