Top 10 Hottest Vampire Chicks!
Bite me! Such a sardonic retort actually becomes a legit request when regarding one of the oldest film characters...the vampire seductress. If you don't know, the great Neil Jordan (INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE) returns to such a world of erotic vampirism with BYZANTIUM, out today, starring the lovely Saoirse Ronan and Gemma Arterton. As such, we've cast a mighty wide net to try and filter 10 of the hottest female vamps to hit the big-screen over the years. Of course, given the high volume, this list is by no means exhaustive, it's more preferential than anything. That said, we've spanned away from the archetypal alabaster-skinned bloodsucker and added a little diversity. Check out the insatiable vamps ahead, then in the talk backs, shoot us your own list of sexy fanged-favorites.
Consider this a blanket celebration for the many, innumerable Euro-hotties who donned the fangs and black cape in the erotic-horror flicks of Jess Franco, Jean Rollin and others. Soledad Miranda, the raven-haired sexpot who starred in the 1971 classic VAMPYROS LESBOS, typifies the kind of unadulterated sleaze of the time. I mean, get a gander...bitch got more bush than the Australian outback!
Posthumous praise all around with this here Top 10, no surprise given the rich history of cinematic vampires. But few departures rank as sadly as that of Aaliyah, who, before dying in a plane crash, played the smoldering vampire queen in the 2002 flick QUEEN OF THE DAMNED. Aaliyah was only 22 when she passed, a true shame given her multidimensional talent. Still, her legacy will live on through, ironically, an immortal character she portrayed. And never looked better in so doing!
Man, Roman Polanski has one sordid past. Before being arrested for sodomizing a 15 year old French girl, Polanski was hitched to the gorgeous ginger-haired beauty Sharon Tate. For all you youngsters, Ms. Tate then became one of Charles Manson's infamous victims of heinous murder. She was 8 months pregnant at the time. Luckily Tate's stunning figure will endure forever on celluloid as the lusty vamp in Polanski's THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS.
Susan Sarandon is not only one of my favorite actresses, but like a fine wine, she's one of the few in Hollywood who has gotten tastier with age. Chick is like 66 and I still want some! The lucky David Bowie tasted her blood 30 years ago in Tony Scott's THE HUNGER, an art-house attempt at vampiric eroticism. I could have just easily named Catherine Deneuve in Susan's place as the sexy vamp, but honestly, Sarandon has better acting chops in my opinion. And bigger tits!
Jeri Ryan is one of those A-framed B-movie and TV actresses with a look to die for...a combo never exemplified better than in the film DRACULA 2000. Ryan plays a flesh-starved vixen of the undead, and never appeared finer doing so. At her side are the equally alarming vamps played by Jennifer Esposito and Colleen Fitzpatrick, though it's Ryan that somehow, ahem, sticks out more than the others. Who am I kidding, they can all eat me!
Seems like the worse the movie, the sexier the starring vamp...and such is certainly the case with Lucy Liu in the 2007 movie RISE: BLOOD HUNTER, which plays like a silly best-of amalgam from way better vampire flicks like BLADE and DRACULA. Double points for also starring Cameron Richardson and Carla Gugino, though I can't recall if they played actual gore-thirsty fang-flashers. Still, Lucy Liu is one sexy beast, all 63 inches of her.
As far as I can tell, the only redeeming quality in any of those stupefying TWILIGHT pictures is the lovely Ashley Greene, whom I've learned plays Alice Cullen in the insulting film franchise. Now, I've met Ms. Greene during an interview, and I can say with 100% accuracy and honesty, that this girl, sans even a shred of makeup, is absolutely gorgeous. Why she wasn't cast as Bella instead of that stolid Kristen Stewart will always be a mystery to me. Then again, so will the entire franchise.
The very first pornographic image I downloaded from the internet, on 56K dial-up mind you, was a topless shot of Alyssa Milano from what I thought was POISON IVY 2. Shite took half a day...and was well worth it. Always a favorite, I'd then be hard-pressed to leave out Ms. Milano as a long-fanged nubile in the otherwise unwatchable EMRACE OF THE VAMPIRE...the actual source of said topless image. Terrible movie, ultra-sexy vixen...historical internet relic!
Santanico Pandemonium! Mexican bombshell Salma Hayek dishes one of the all time sexiest table dances in the history of cinema, even going so far as to cram her bare foot into Quentin Tarantino's perverted maw, trickling a beverage down her edible gams in the process. Shite's intense. Ever the seductress, she leaves her prey utterly vulnerable before quickly morphing into a bloodsucking fiend and ravaging the entire barroom. Chick's marriage material!
Come on now...the skin tight black leather, the perfect porcelain complexion, the brute force, the killer command, that ass...Kate Beckinsale, easily one of the most beautiful people on the globe, to me ranks as the ultimate cinematic vampiress. Why? Well, aside from the lusty sex appeal, she's not only played the character of Selene in multiple flicks, she's gotten sexier and more badass with each progressing entry. it should be illegal to be this fine!