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Top 10 Predator Kills 2.0!

6 days agoby: Jake Dee
Not that it'll dissuade die-hard fans of the original from hitting theaters this weekend, but word is Shane Black's THE PREDATOR is dividing audiences down the middle. Our very own Jimmy O., for instance, gave the movie a middling review score of 5/10. Say it ain't so!

Don't fret though folks, we have just the thing to cheer your asses up. Back in 2010, we gave y'all a double-fistful of our favorite all time PREDATOR kills (HERE). Now, it's time for the encore. Less chat and more splat...here's our Top 10 Favorite Predator Kills 2.0!

#10. KING WILLIE'S DECAPITATION (PREDATOR 2)

The voodoo-pimp King Willie is no match for an L.A. street Predator, just ask Harvey Wesinstein. Or hell, ask this fella here who just got his dome-piece lopped-off in dingy L.A. alleyway. The culprit? Preddy f*cking Krueger! In one of the coolest shots and sequences in all of the PREDATOR flicks, our apex badass slinks down the side of a building, wades through a puddle in a killer reflection shot, and with one swipe of his rapier blade (he is a Predator asking strangers if they want candy, after-all), beheads King Willie and walks off with his dreaded-dome as a trophy!

#9. SPINAL COLUMN DECAPITATION (PREDATORS)

For whatever reason, the Predator likes to decollate mere mortals by ripping out their spinal columns in abrupt fashion. We saw it in the original film, with Preddy collecting Billy's skull and backbone after he's already dead. Well, in PREDATORS, the savagery is ramped-up when the Berserker does the same exact thing to Stans (Walton Goggins), while he's still alive! It's a top-rate kill, detracted a bit by the poor lighting and indecipherable action, but trust us, Preddy grabs hold of Stans' pate and forcefully yanks his skull out of his skin, with his entire spinal column attached and covered in grue!

#8. AGENT KEYES' BODY SLICED IN HALF (PREDATOR 2)

You'd think if there was any human being so frighteningly unhinged, so scarily insane, so wildly unpredictable enough to turn away the Predator, it's be Gary f*cking Busey. Uh uh. Maybe he wasn't bat-shite bonkers enough yet. Anyway, who could forget Agent Keyes glorious meat-locker demise in PREDATOR 2, in which Busey's character randomly appears out of nowhere to suddenly save the adversarial Danny Glover. No matter, the urbanized Pred pulls out one of his gyro-discs, flings it across the room at high velocity, chopping Keyes' body plum in half!

#7. BLAIN'S HOLLOWED CHEST (PREDATOR)

Who else is still quoting "I ain't got time to bleed" in 2018? You bet your balls I am! Jesse the Bod is too damn grizzled, too damn godly to go out like a punk in PREDATOR, but damn, his incendiary demise is the first time in the entire franchise that we get a really good look at the destructive prowess of the Predator's technological armament. A few twinkling lights, and BOOM, the Bod catches a goddamn rocket in his solar plexus until a hole the size of the Marianas Trench is left behind.

#6. PREDALIEN PREGNANCY (ALIEN VS. PREDATOR REQUIEM)

WHAT. THE. F*CK. No, seriously, WTF are we looking at here? My god. Okay, I remember. In the final reel of AVP: REQUIEM, the hybridized mutant of the Predator and Xenomorph, aptly dubbed the Predalien, storms into a hospital room and finds a pregnant woman about to deliver a baby. Scrambling to reproduce as quickly as possible, the Predalien begins spitting hybridized eggs down the woman's throat until, moments later, we see the gnarliest and nastiest sight in all the PREDATOR films. This poor lass is cocooned in a viscid web of placental goop and viscera, ready to pop with Predalien's bun at any time!

#5. MOMBASA'S MULTI-IMPALEMENT (PREDATORS)

Damn, I almost forget Mahershala Ali was in PREDATORS. Oh that's right, probably because he's one of the earliest to be victimized on the Predator's native planet. What I've never forgotten though is how Mombasa's death goes down, as it's one of the tone-setting early kills of the movie, and sets the stakes for things to come. When the ragtag crew of criminal specialists obliviously wander into a Predatory trap, Mombasa gets viciously impaled by a multitude of giant spears, then displayed in a ritualistic circle!

#4. MAC'S GORY HEAD SHOT (PREDATOR)

Bill Duke's a boss! Such a boss that Arnold The Schwarz "ate the green beret for breakfast" in COMMANDO, threw him through a spike, and brought him back to hunt some alien ass in PREDATOR. Of course, Mac is the one guy in the movie who has a preternatural sense of impending, otherworldly doom (okay, he and Billy). As he hides out and spies on the chameleonic shapeshifter in the trees, Mac's third-eye is targeted by the Preator's gun. Moments later his head his exploded like a balloon full of red jello!

#3. XENOMORPH DECAPITATION (ALIEN VS. PREDATOR)

Granted, the ALIEN VS. PREDATOR pictures are pretty ridiculous, but there's always been one killer sequence that stood out to me in the first cinematic mashup of the two extraterrestrial beasts. During a key showdown, Predator dices a flying face-hugger in midair with a multi-bladed boomerang disc. As a Xenomorph slides down a wall to exact revenge, old Preddy senses it, quickly spins around and swipes a kickass scissor-claw across the sucker's neck. A beat, then the Xenomorph's head slimes off its body!

#2. BERSERKER DECAPITATION (PREDATORS)

It's one thing to a kill a lowly vile human being, but when you turn the claw on one of your own? F*ck! This is precisely what we caught a glimpse of in Nimrod Antal's PREDATORS, especially when the apex golden-jawed Berserker Predator - the only subspecies to collect trophies in the form of skeletons mind you - savagely decapitates a smaller jungle predator with little remorse. First the Berserker removes its mask, then in one fell swoop, slices its relatives' head clean off as green gore pours down below.

#1. DILLON'S DRAWN OUT DEATH (PREDATOR)

Dillon's drawn-out death dealing is one of the coolest and most subliminally elaborate of all of the PREDATOR franchise kills. After refusing to believe his own eyes and accept an alien hunter is picking off his squadron ("a f*cking lizard?"), he goes into a hallucinatory blitzkrieg of sight and sound, first seeing Mac's dead-body (somehow face intact after being splattered like a grape tomato moments prior), hearing the Predator echo "Anytime", before ultimately getting his chest emblazoned and his arm blasted off with alien artillery! Finally, a savage impalement finishes the job!

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