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Necessary Evil: Witchboard Remake!

09.16.2016by: Mike Catalano

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Hello horror buddies! Hope you're all doing well as we creep into the Fall season which is always a nice time of year for those into the scary! I also hope you enjoyed our last Necessary Evil that suggested an idea for the obligatory sequel to Don't Breathe, the well-received horror hit of the Summer! Ironically enough, today sees the release of yet another highly praised horror offering in Blair Witch! Because of that, we are in a witchy mood and decided to let today's Necessary Evil run with it. Hence, we are presenting an idea for a remake of Kevin S. Tenney's 1986 spookfest Witchboard!

IDEA: An updated remake of the 1986 horror film Witchboard.

OUTLINE: First off, yes I am fully aware that Witchboard centers around a Ouija board and there already was that crappy Ouija movie that came out in 2014 and its improbable sequel is coming next month. The Witchboard remake will hopefully stand out because I want it to fully embrace a hard R rating and actually be scary! Like most good remakes, I will try to come up with some new ideas while still embracing the spirit of the original. The film opens with our main character, the gorgeous Linda, lying on the ground in her home covered in blood. Her boyfriend, Jim, is next to her dead with a gaping axe wound in his face. Linda slowly lowers her face onto Jim's chest and bursts into tears.

The axe murderer is still at large and Linda never got a good look at him. She is very distraught over losing Jim. Brandon, their mutual friend, suggests she attempts contacting Jim with a Ouija board. Brandon has experience with Ouija boards and believes they can reach Jim. Linda agrees. One night, they place their hands on the planchette of Brandon's own board and ask Jim to speak to them. The planchette starts to move spelling out Jim's name. Linda is so happy to be speaking to him again. It's providing the closure she needs. Brandon leaves his Ouija board with her and urges her to use it more if she needs.

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Linda continues contacting Jim on her own. The more she does this, the more she begins acting less like herself. Normally very sweet and innocent, she curses much more and is less kind to people. Her brother Lloyd, a police officer, comes to visit her and notices this right away. She tells him about the Ouija board and how she has contacted Jim. Skeptical about this, Lloyd does some internet research while simultaneously looking into Jim's murder. He learns how spirits in the afterlife can lie through Ouija boards and look to possess people. He also discovers an old case about an axe murdering husband and wife who were gunned down by the cops. Looking to gain more perspective, Lloyd asks Linda if they can try and contact Jim again. They go to a board game store in the mall because Lloyd wants to do it in a public place. They find a Ouija board and open it up in the back. While moving the planchette, the entire store begins to shake. The customers panic, thinking it's an earthquake, but suddenly board game boxes open up. Sharpened game pieces begin flying out and impaling people. A floating axe appears out of nowhere and takes a swing at Lloyd. Linda grabs him and leads him out of the store.

Convinced that something evil is happening, Lloyd hires a psychic named Zara to exorcise whatever spirit is trying to get through to Linda. They conduct a seance at Linda's house. Brandon is there too. After a round of loud noises and flickering lights, Zara claims that the spirit is gone. Lloyd stays with Linda and Brandon offers to give Zara a ride home. On their drive, she claims to have heard a strange name during the seance and wonders if Brandon ever heard the name while using his Ouija board: Malfeitor. Brandon says he hasn't and drops her at home. Once inside, Zara hears a knocks at her door. She opens it up and is immediately hit with an axe to her face.

The next day, Linda wakes up and gets in the shower. The water becomes increasingly hot. The glass door won't open. Linda frantically kicks the glass and busts out, cutting herself in the process. The door to the bathroom won't open. Linda is screaming for help when suddenly an axe comes bursting through the door. It is Lloyd. He gets her out of the bathroom, claiming he came by to see how she was and got the axe from the trunk of his police car. He drops the axe and takes Linda to her bedroom so she can get dressed. Lloyd exits the bedroom to give her some privacy. He suddenly bumps into Brandon who is now in the home. He says he is there to make things better and hits Lloyd in the stomach with the axe. Brandon adds that he is ready for his wife and smacks the axe down into Lloyd's skull.

Brandon attacks Linda in her bedroom and ties her to a chair. He lays the Ouija board down in front of her and says that he is Malfeitor. He took over Brandon's body through the Ouija board. He also was the one that killed Jim and his wife's spirit is the one contacting Linda. Malfeitor is going to force Linda to use the Ouija board one last time so that his wife can complete the final stage of possession. He lays the axe alongside her head and Linda reluctantly puts her hands on the planchette. She quickly calls out, "Jim are you there?! Please help me!" The planchette immediately moves across the board to YES. The axe in Malfeitor's hands swings backwards, burying the point into his face. As he falls to the floor, the axe swings back down forward and splits the Ouija board in two.

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WHY IT COULD WORK: Well, we know that people are still fascinated by Ouija boards. And apparently, they don't mind seeing scary movies about them. How else can you explain that crappy Ouija movie being a success? Imagine if there was actually a fun, entertaining, and gory fright flick with a Ouija board at the center? Also, the original is a cult classic, so I'm guessing many fans would be into checking out how a remake would work things.

CHARACTERS: For the gorgeous and bodacious role of Linda, played by the sultry Tawny Kitean in the original, I say you've gotta go with the incredible Alexandra Daddario! She embodies everything the character needs and then some! I think someone like Xavier Samuel from the war movie Fury would be a good fit for Brandon. As for Lloyd, perhaps Jay Baruchel would be an interesting choice? And as for the cameo-like role of Zara the psychic, wouldn't it be cool to get Tawny Kitean?

CONCLUSION: Many times, the best way to do a horror remake is by choosing a less well-known original. You also still have to pay respect to the source material, which basically means developing a good and worthy story. I believe a Witchboard remake will fit nicely within our current world of horror. The original is fun, but could actually benefit from some updating and a few tweaks to the story!

Now, what do you think of Witchboard returning from the 80's horror spirit world? Did you like the original? And is there anything you'd like to see done with the remake? Or do all signs point to NO on this idea? Kindly blast them bullets below! And if you have any ideas that you think should be made into horror reality, let me know at mikecatalano@joblo.com.

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Extra Tidbit: You know we couldn't mention Miss Daddario's name and NOT put up a pic of her!

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