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The F*cking Black Sheep: Creepshow 2 (1987)

Sep. 27, 2012by: Ryan Doom

THE BLACK SHEEP is an ongoing column featuring different takes on films that either the writer HATED, but that the majority of film fans LOVED, or that the writer LOVED, but that most others LOATH. We're hoping this column will promote constructive and geek fueled discussion. Dig in!

Creepshow 2 (1987)
Directed by Michael Gornick

Creepshow 2 might be the Great Value brand of Tales from the Crypt, but its entertainingly generic.

To view Creepshow 2 properly, its important to remember a few key elements. 1) Wait for the gore. It comes eventually and looks fantastic. 2) Enjoy the worst dialogue ever written, seriously terrible. 3) Doubly enjoy some of the worst acting recorded (special awards for George Kennedys death scene and everyone involved with The Raft). 4) Dont take anything seriously. 5) Watch the movie with a heavy drink and some folks in the mood. Its an easy recipe for a perfect evening of enjoyable stupidity. Sure, not as easy recipe as say making spaghetti with canned sauce, but still simple enough.

With that said, Creepshow 2 deserves some criticism, which well get over with up front. The fact that both Stephen King AND George A. Romero wrote this movie either means they aimed for the result here or they enjoy a few too many beverages (or something a little stiffer) when they wrote it. Regardless, this is THE laziest, most eye-rolling dialogue ever written. Oh, and then theres the logic (like in The Raft where characters stranded on a raft in swimsuits manage to produce two joints and a sweat shirt out of thin air.) More dumb things occur, but this is a positive review, the laziness of the film is what makes the movie. Along with top-notch, blood drenched effects.

Besidesthats the point, right? This isnt serious horror. This isnt serious anything. Creepshow 2 might be the Great Value brand of Tales from the Crypt, but its entertainingly generic, though often overlooked compared to the first Creepshow, a classic with memorable talent (before they were A-list Ted Danson, Ed Harris, and Leslie Nielsen). Few would say the same for Creepshow 2 as itsless than classic. Not that it matters. Creepshow 2 plays as if King and Romero didnt care what anyone thought. With only three stories (though the stories feel a bit stretched) instead of five like the first film, they did whatever probably sounded good at the time.

The first tale is the weakest, with lackluster gore and painful effects (Im looking at you, Chief Woodnhead). Entitled Old Chief Woodnhead, its about an old couple running a general store without customers near an Indian reservation. When an outlaw Indian and his boys rob and kill the couple (as mentioned, Kennedys death is overdramatic perfection), the old wooden cigar Indian comes to life to seek revenge. The best part: the outlaw Indians love for his hair. He thinks hell make to Hollywood with it, because he looks so good. Thats his motivation, which is pretty, pretty dumb.

The second tale, The Raft, is by far the best where four young folks swim to the middle of a lake, only to be trapped by some sort of oil slick monster. The death sequences are effectively brutal here as the oil thingy devours the poor suckers, one by one. Very painful to watchnot as painful as the dialogue though, but it ensures interest never wanes. Actually, more painful might be the near molestation scene when the last guy makes out with the last passed out girl. Itsawkward. The best part: the oil monster. Im pretty sure its just a black tarp with some goo that they moved around. But what the hell, it works.

The final tale, The Hitchhiker, has all the good lines. Now youre seeing things, bitch, says the main character, Mrs. Lansing. And boy, does she see some shit. But why shouldnt she as shes had quite a day. She buys a male prostitute for 150 bucks, collecting six orgasms for her trouble. On her ride home, shes talks to an empty passenger seat the whole way home until she hits a hitchhiker and runs from the scene. Then the dead hitchhiker keeps coming back for her, again and again. Nothing makes sense as the story is a mess, but its got the line, Thanks for the ride, lady, which makes up for everything. The best part: The ridiculous driving. When the hitchhiker jumps on top of her car and she cant shake him, she drives into the woods, destroying her car in hopes hell hit a branch or the leaves might suffocate him. Maybe hit the brakes next time?

You wont be smarter for watching Creepshow 2, but what the hell. You got some cells to burn. Enjoy.

GET CREEPSHOW 2 DVD HERE

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9:55AM on 09/27/2012
It's an O.K. sequel to my favourite Horror anthology/comic book movie, but it certainly isn't so bad it's good by any means. Sure, it isn't exactly great, but it's a semi-enjoyable, kinda boring movie that can be fun to put in once every year or so.
PS: Read up on the creation of "The Raft". It was quite a bit of trouble.
It's an O.K. sequel to my favourite Horror anthology/comic book movie, but it certainly isn't so bad it's good by any means. Sure, it isn't exactly great, but it's a semi-enjoyable, kinda boring movie that can be fun to put in once every year or so.
PS: Read up on the creation of "The Raft". It was quite a bit of trouble.
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12:18PM on 09/27/2012
I actually liked it and thought all the stories were pretty cool and original. I thought the raft was the best too. A couple more stories would have made it better though.
I actually liked it and thought all the stories were pretty cool and original. I thought the raft was the best too. A couple more stories would have made it better though.
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12:47PM on 09/27/2012
Definitely a guilty pleasure of mine. It's one of the those movies that you see scrolling though the guide on a Friday night at 1 in the morning and will leave on. "The Raft" is easily the best and I agree that the dialogue throughout is painfully bad.....but whatever, it hits the right spots when it counts.

[link]
Definitely a guilty pleasure of mine. It's one of the those movies that you see scrolling though the guide on a Friday night at 1 in the morning and will leave on. "The Raft" is easily the best and I agree that the dialogue throughout is painfully bad.....but whatever, it hits the right spots when it counts.

[link]
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1:06PM on 09/27/2012
Classic line...A group of us went to see this film when i was 11 years old and we loved every minute of it. Probably the only reason why I have a bias for it today. Not only was it a splatter-filled pleasure when I was a kid, but it also holds nostalgic charm for me because of that. Obviously there's been way better, but who cares? Thats not why you watch it.
Classic line...A group of us went to see this film when i was 11 years old and we loved every minute of it. Probably the only reason why I have a bias for it today. Not only was it a splatter-filled pleasure when I was a kid, but it also holds nostalgic charm for me because of that. Obviously there's been way better, but who cares? Thats not why you watch it.
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+0
3:53PM on 09/27/2012
'' THE RAFT '' is worth it all on it's lonesome , but this horribly written , acted and realized trilogy is pure goofy sunshine , and is a must for every genre collection !!
'' THE RAFT '' is worth it all on it's lonesome , but this horribly written , acted and realized trilogy is pure goofy sunshine , and is a must for every genre collection !!
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10:07PM on 09/27/2012

Not bad.

It is a slighty above average sequel that was done, not even half of the budget of the original "Creepshow". Sure, the movie looks cheaper but has its moments. This week, i just order myself the Region 2 DVD of this movie with the special features of the 2004 Region 1 DVD. Since i can't find the Region 1 DVD. Also, if you haven't seen the two-disc special edtion of "Creepshow" on Region 2, it is worth it!!!
It is a slighty above average sequel that was done, not even half of the budget of the original "Creepshow". Sure, the movie looks cheaper but has its moments. This week, i just order myself the Region 2 DVD of this movie with the special features of the 2004 Region 1 DVD. Since i can't find the Region 1 DVD. Also, if you haven't seen the two-disc special edtion of "Creepshow" on Region 2, it is worth it!!!
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2:53AM on 09/28/2012
The Raft is the best. And another reason I like this movie is George Kennedy. He's one of my favorite actors. George Kennedy in a horror movie? Ticket sold!
The Raft is the best. And another reason I like this movie is George Kennedy. He's one of my favorite actors. George Kennedy in a horror movie? Ticket sold!
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4:58AM on 09/28/2012
"The Raft" scared the shit out of me any time I swan in a lake as a kid. Please help: Does anyone know/remember a short like these where two guys (filming everything) hit a person on the road, push him down the hill, then drive into a town where they hate people filming? The townspeople eventually take the video camera and see that they killed their friend. They bury the driver in the ground with the upper half exposed and have the friend drive toward him and the last line is "...but this is
"The Raft" scared the shit out of me any time I swan in a lake as a kid. Please help: Does anyone know/remember a short like these where two guys (filming everything) hit a person on the road, push him down the hill, then drive into a town where they hate people filming? The townspeople eventually take the video camera and see that they killed their friend. They bury the driver in the ground with the upper half exposed and have the friend drive toward him and the last line is "...but this is murder." I've been trying to remember for years...Tales from the Crypt show??...or another movie like Creepshow?? Anyone know?
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9:25AM on 09/28/2012
You're probably right. I wouldn't know if it's one of the original Twilight Zone or Tales from the Crypt shows because I was just a kid and scared sh**less from Tales from the Crypt even with some blood & gore got censored/cut out from the show. My theory is that I think it could be from anthology horror movies like Creepshow but it could be from the 70s. There was one movie that I watched long time ago (made in England, I think) about 4 guys that got sent down to hell and waiting for judgment.
You're probably right. I wouldn't know if it's one of the original Twilight Zone or Tales from the Crypt shows because I was just a kid and scared sh**less from Tales from the Crypt even with some blood & gore got censored/cut out from the show. My theory is that I think it could be from anthology horror movies like Creepshow but it could be from the 70s. There was one movie that I watched long time ago (made in England, I think) about 4 guys that got sent down to hell and waiting for judgment. They then told their stories of how they came here - one was about a detail-obsessed guy that got murdered by the wife, one was caught in a secret vampire-type club. I couldn't remember the other two so the 70s movie might be a good try for your search :]
9:17AM on 09/28/2012
I'm thinking it may be an episode of The Twilight Zone because I just recently remembered the 1985 episode called "A Little Peace and Quiet" (one of the endings I remember) which proves to me that I used to watch a lot of The Twilight Zone when I was young. I don't know, maybe it's not.
I'm thinking it may be an episode of The Twilight Zone because I just recently remembered the 1985 episode called "A Little Peace and Quiet" (one of the endings I remember) which proves to me that I used to watch a lot of The Twilight Zone when I was young. I don't know, maybe it's not.
9:04AM on 09/28/2012
Thanks for the comment. If you ever find out, please post, as I have this page saved. I will do the same if I ever find out. Come to think of it, I bet The Arrow would know. I have honestly been trying to figure it out for years. I googled, etc, but have come up empty. I remember watching it a couple of times, probably on HBO, in the late 80s, early 90s.
Thanks for the comment. If you ever find out, please post, as I have this page saved. I will do the same if I ever find out. Come to think of it, I bet The Arrow would know. I have honestly been trying to figure it out for years. I googled, etc, but have come up empty. I remember watching it a couple of times, probably on HBO, in the late 80s, early 90s.
5:39AM on 09/28/2012
What you said sound intriguing! However, I don't think it's the first Creepshow, nor Twilight Zone the Movie nor Body Bag nor Nightmares. I'm stumped as well. Heck, now I need to know what it is too, haha.
What you said sound intriguing! However, I don't think it's the first Creepshow, nor Twilight Zone the Movie nor Body Bag nor Nightmares. I'm stumped as well. Heck, now I need to know what it is too, haha.
11:43AM on 09/28/2012

Cartoon Horror

The cartoon sequences are what really made Creepshow 2 stand out for me. I always wished they'd have elongated and made it the last story..a 4th story. More than just the meat eating venus fly traps. Also, the score, thought not as epic as the first, it was still pretty awesome.
The cartoon sequences are what really made Creepshow 2 stand out for me. I always wished they'd have elongated and made it the last story..a 4th story. More than just the meat eating venus fly traps. Also, the score, thought not as epic as the first, it was still pretty awesome.
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+1
4:41AM on 10/01/2012

Creep Show 2

I only liked it cuz it was made in my hometown in Arizona and everyone made a big dead of it. The lake where they made The Raft is a nice place. Lynx Lake in Prescott Arizona
I only liked it cuz it was made in my hometown in Arizona and everyone made a big dead of it. The lake where they made The Raft is a nice place. Lynx Lake in Prescott Arizona
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2:00AM on 11/27/2012

Lazy viewing

Oh, and then theres the logic (like in The raft where characters stranded on a raft in swimsuits manage to produce two joints and a sweat shirt out of thin air.) Um, no. The shy girl keeps her sweater on while swimming to the raft. Once there, she takes it off and the other girl puts it on. And the jock can be seen slipping the joints in a plastic bag that he straps to his speedo. Lazy viewing rather than lazy filmmaking. :P
Oh, and then theres the logic (like in The raft where characters stranded on a raft in swimsuits manage to produce two joints and a sweat shirt out of thin air.) Um, no. The shy girl keeps her sweater on while swimming to the raft. Once there, she takes it off and the other girl puts it on. And the jock can be seen slipping the joints in a plastic bag that he straps to his speedo. Lazy viewing rather than lazy filmmaking. :P
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