The Swarm to invade theaters

Last Updated on July 27, 2021

First off, this is not a remake of the godawful Irwin Allen-directed THE SWARM, about pissed-off bees getting all up in Michael Caine’s business. I just doubt there’s room in this world outside of the Sci Fi channel for a remake of that atrocity.

No, this SWARM is composed of pissed-off aliens, who after existing quietly on the ocean floor, get riled up after we disturb their eco-system. So it’s another UFO-based ass-kicking for humanity!

The flick is based on a book by Frank Schatzing, and is being produced by Dino De Laurentiis (uh oh…). It is said to be an eco-conscious thriller in the vein of THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW and M. Night Shymalan’s upcoming THE HAPPENING (aka “The Haps”). These movies aim to excite us with their thrilling visions of the human race being pummeled into oatmeal, yet simultaneously want us to ponder our follies as a species and change our lousy, Earth-f*cking-up ways. (Don’t know about you, but after THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW I was less concerned with global warming and more interested in finding out where Roland Emmerich lives. Don’t worry, FBI, I failed…)

Hey Hollywood, why not skip THE SWARM and donate that $100 million you’re going to spend on the budget to Greenpeace? No? Didn’t think so…