So as you work on your resolutions for 2008 - whether it's completing that new screenplay, getting a role in a movie that's not financed by your best friend with free passes to the AMC that he snagged while working projection there, or just getting your gf/bf to finally love giving head - remember that all big achievements started out as crazy dreams and lofty goals.
So get out there and do that thing that you've been wanting to do. It's a new year a'comin'. What better reason do you need? For the holidays make sure to be safe 'cause I know ya'll won't be good ;-) And Spit Bullets on your plans and resolutions. We wanna know!
Before she took a beating as the iconic Tina Turner, Bassett threw down with those furry little tumbleweeds of toothy genre mayhem the Critters. What's most notable about this is how little impression her performance leaves. Neither terrible nor showcasing the fire we'd see in her later career, this role kind of floats along like the space station it's set on.
Alba's deliciously dim character in this movie manages to establish two key truths - 1) Alba will not get nude, even in a movie that absolutely demands it, until she ceases to be so f*cking hot that people stop putting up with her prissy denials; 2) Girls really want an aggressive kinky guy who takes what he wants in the bedroom (at least that's what I chose to take from it). This was many people's first exposure to Jessica's outstanding brand of gorgeousity, so when you take this and DARK ANGEL into account, the world really owes us genre fans a debt for discovering their favorite hard body.
Twofer baby! In one corner we've got The Mac as psychotic remote-controlled leg bearing Wilmer. His challenger is mistress squinty-eye as a tenacious victim. Finding two performers who have become box office gold in such an affront to genre filmmaking is always a delicious treat. It's not quite as cool a find since both McConaughey and Zellweger handle themselves well, thus depriving us of the enjoyment of a truly bad performance, but at the same time they effectively create the only reason to suffer through this piece of shite (especially Matt).
Don't let those crafty marketers fool you. George is NOT the star of this movie. He barely stays alive long enough to qualify as a glorified cameo, but anytime a legit megastar shows up in a cheesy 80's slasher and gets killed, it's worth checking out. It's also worth noting that watching this film will cause the viewer to ask serious questions about why exactly SCREAM was considered so original.