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Top 10: Boobs #1

Jun. 18, 2009by: Matt Withers
Every once in awhile someone has an idea that's so simple, it's simply genius. Like when Catalano asked if I ever do a sequel to a Top 10 after we discussed what a shame it was that "Tit Shots" had already been done. Well the answer is no, but that doesn't mean another angle can't be taken.

So this time the focus is simply on the best boobs in horror. We're talking about those scenes where an actress and her boobs create a duet of deliciousness that simply cannot be ignored. I'll give you fair warning that this does not require nudity, although that certainly helps.

And once you're done enjoying this week's list, why not spit bullets with other great boobs, and even better, links to make your argument more persuasive, so that everybody can get in on the fun. Boobs! Heh heh.

WARNING - SOME SPOILERS (AND NSFW LINKS) AHEAD!

10. Rhona Mitra's Boobs, HOLLOW MAN


NSFW examples

Hard to leave the lovely Ms. Mitra off the list even though the scene in question is not exactly a fun one. She's just such a lovely lass and getting to see her assets is well worth any moral qualms that might come from deriving enjoyment out of a rape by invisible assailant. At least it's not as bad as THE ENTITY.

9. Rose McGowan's Boobs, SCREAM


Hello nipples! Rose is one of the hottest women in Hollywood, and the fact that she was a good enough sport to rock the twin torpedoes for Wes Craven in SCREAM speaks volumes for her. Sure the character ends up eating it in one of the lamest deaths ever, but she does it with Aniston-like front thimbles, so much can be forgiven.

8. Jennifer Love Hewitt's Boobs, I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER

It's pretty stupid that Hewitt still refuses to give up the goods, because her boobs are primarily a co-star in every film she does. Of course IKWYDLS takes it to a whole 'nother level. There's is no scene that doesn't appear to have been lit, shot and scripted around how to make Jen's substantial assets pop. Just show the goods babe. We'll all take you a lot more seriously when you allow the focus to shift from your constantly, conspicuously covered boobs.

7. Tiffany Shepis' Boobs, NIGHTMARE MAN.


NSFW examples

AITH's new resident columnist is a chick who ain't afraid to get nekkid. And being a dude, I gotta say thank God for that because her bewbs are awesome and I'm comfortable with being simple enough to be down with that. At the same time, what makes Ms. Shepis so fucking amazing is her unique sass mixed with the fact that she'd likely drink your monkey ass under the table, while still dropping the vibe that she's a truly genuine lady.

6. Diora Baird's Boobs, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING

Natural f*cking wonders my friends. They actually don't look quite as good here as they have in certain other projects, but damn this is the kind of womanly flesh that leads men to go on Frodo-like quests. Is it possible that a pair of lady lumps could uncrazy Kim Jong Ill? If so I'd bet on the Baird.

STAY TUNED FOR PART 2!
Source: AITH

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12:50AM on 09/12/2010

rose

WOW. nice baby. Rose Mcgowan is my like baby on TV
[link]
WOW. nice baby. Rose Mcgowan is my like baby on TV
[link]
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11:38AM on 06/22/2009
I think AwsomeZara should be on this list as wll
I think AwsomeZara should be on this list as wll
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12:46AM on 06/21/2009
I have a conflict of interest with Rhona Mitra's entry: on one hand (or two!), she's got the goods, and on the other: Kevin Bacon's doing the rape thing, which is never fun.

Oh yea, and where is Barbara Crampton, Matt? Or ALL of Linnea Quigley?
I have a conflict of interest with Rhona Mitra's entry: on one hand (or two!), she's got the goods, and on the other: Kevin Bacon's doing the rape thing, which is never fun.

Oh yea, and where is Barbara Crampton, Matt? Or ALL of Linnea Quigley?
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2:56PM on 06/19/2009
I agree what some people have said on here. Barbara Crampton from Re-Animator deserves to be on here as well as the asian chick from Night Of The Demons. I think that Linnea Quigley deserves to be on here as well for Return Of The Living Dead and Night of The Demons. What about Danielle Harris from the Halloween remake? I do agree that Julianna Guill deserves to be no. 1 Best boobs ever.
I agree what some people have said on here. Barbara Crampton from Re-Animator deserves to be on here as well as the asian chick from Night Of The Demons. I think that Linnea Quigley deserves to be on here as well for Return Of The Living Dead and Night of The Demons. What about Danielle Harris from the Halloween remake? I do agree that Julianna Guill deserves to be no. 1 Best boobs ever.
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1:58AM on 06/19/2009
I have every installment in my NetFlix queue right now, I just wanted to watch the "remake" (which from my understanding is a retooling and not a direct remake) without any bias.

I'm gaining an understanding of horror as an adult. There are no built in preconceived or adolescent notions to my horror knowledge. Sometimes what we watch when we're young is shit when we've got life experience under our belt.

So far, I've preferred older horror, but I'm finding that occasionally the newer
I have every installment in my NetFlix queue right now, I just wanted to watch the "remake" (which from my understanding is a retooling and not a direct remake) without any bias.

I'm gaining an understanding of horror as an adult. There are no built in preconceived or adolescent notions to my horror knowledge. Sometimes what we watch when we're young is shit when we've got life experience under our belt.

So far, I've preferred older horror, but I'm finding that occasionally the newer stuff is "OK." For example, I watched the original MY BLOODY VALENTINE first, but I watched the director's cut that was just recently released on DVD. And I liked it a lot as a straightforward movie. But on the same/other hand, I watched the MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D on DVD with no 3-D and had an absolute blast with its stupidity (that so bad, you have to laugh gig) and yelling "3-D!!" loudly in a stoner haze at all the scenes I was supposed to be seeing in 3-D but wasn't.

I also firmly stand by loving I KNOW WHO KILLED ME on the same [link] principle.

Oh, and Guill is a huge household name, right? So I should have been paying close attention to her "real" breasts during the boring as fuck retooling that I guess I wasn't supposed to have watched first?

Excuse me while I go put on my cone of shame.
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12:05AM on 06/19/2009

Top Titties...

Babs Crampton from Re-Animator, she shows them off and shows them off again! What a pair! As a hetero female, even I would dive head first into those haha
Babs Crampton from Re-Animator, she shows them off and shows them off again! What a pair! As a hetero female, even I would dive head first into those haha
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10:10PM on 06/18/2009

Wow...

Awesomezara, how disgraceful to have never watched the original but then peep the remake, you ought to be ashamed. But on the same token props for knowing New York Ripper, Lucio Fulci is one of my favorite directors
Awesomezara, how disgraceful to have never watched the original but then peep the remake, you ought to be ashamed. But on the same token props for knowing New York Ripper, Lucio Fulci is one of my favorite directors
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9:48PM on 06/18/2009

LITTLE KNOWN BOOBS

Anyone remember seeing Penny Johnson rack in The Hills Have Eyes 2(1985). She was Larry Sanders PA and the presidents wife on 24. Very nice 80's bUUbs.
Anyone remember seeing Penny Johnson rack in The Hills Have Eyes 2(1985). She was Larry Sanders PA and the presidents wife on 24. Very nice 80's bUUbs.
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8:51PM on 06/18/2009

AwesomeZara

What the hell are you talking about? The F13 remake did NOT have all fake boobs...how could you miss the fact that Julianna Guill's puppies were real?? I figure that would be OBVIOUS to anyone.
What the hell are you talking about? The F13 remake did NOT have all fake boobs...how could you miss the fact that Julianna Guill's puppies were real?? I figure that would be OBVIOUS to anyone.
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7:59PM on 06/18/2009
Oh and just watched the F13 remake last night (I've never watched the original... cue bashing) and I found it funny that the only chicks who went bare were the lesser known actresses with huge implants. As I've grown into learning about the horror genre as an adult, I have a very large appreciation for those brave women of the late '70's and early '80's who went topless because in order to get large tits on screen back then, they were natural and therefore the chick was usually a little less
Oh and just watched the F13 remake last night (I've never watched the original... cue bashing) and I found it funny that the only chicks who went bare were the lesser known actresses with huge implants. As I've grown into learning about the horror genre as an adult, I have a very large appreciation for those brave women of the late '70's and early '80's who went topless because in order to get large tits on screen back then, they were natural and therefore the chick was usually a little less anorexic looking in the process.

Fulci's NEW YORK RIPPER has some great nudity and horrible dubbing, plus a duck voiced villain. All around perfection that just doesn't happen in the cookie cutter horror movies these days.
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7:54PM on 06/18/2009
I wouldn't classify IKWYDLS as a horror flick, even though it basically is. I like sub-genres better, because I'm a pain in the ass like that and JLH's breasts, if they're in a top ten of any kind, automatically deserve a MUCH higher ranking than 8. Pffft.
I wouldn't classify IKWYDLS as a horror flick, even though it basically is. I like sub-genres better, because I'm a pain in the ass like that and JLH's breasts, if they're in a top ten of any kind, automatically deserve a MUCH higher ranking than 8. Pffft.
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2:38PM on 06/18/2009

I agree....

... with BadFilmsRule that it require the "full monty" to qualify for this list.
... with BadFilmsRule that it require the "full monty" to qualify for this list.
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12:41PM on 06/18/2009

Agree with Arrow here! Guill's tits were fantastic!

Also, Covered tits should not be on this list! Only tits that were actually shown in the film? So we should get rid of Hewitt, Baird and McGowan and start over IMO.
Also, Covered tits should not be on this list! Only tits that were actually shown in the film? So we should get rid of Hewitt, Baird and McGowan and start over IMO.
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11:57AM on 06/18/2009

Great List

An Awesome List like this only further proves that Mr. Withers is clearly the Master of the "Horror Top Ten". No other writer can match him. Great stuff!
An Awesome List like this only further proves that Mr. Withers is clearly the Master of the "Horror Top Ten". No other writer can match him. Great stuff!
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11:57AM on 06/18/2009

My favorite tits are...

IMHO Debi Sue Voorhies deserves to be #1 In FRIDAY THE 13th PART V A NEW BEGINNING. she has the perfect tits big and real!!! I can't wait to see those in HD when the BD comes out.
IMHO Debi Sue Voorhies deserves to be #1 In FRIDAY THE 13th PART V A NEW BEGINNING. she has the perfect tits big and real!!! I can't wait to see those in HD when the BD comes out.
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11:51AM on 06/18/2009

My top tits would be...

Julianna Guill from the F13 remake... I've seen lots of boobs in my life but that pair had my jaw drop into my pants...hope she makes the list yo! Oh and I'd f*ck Jessica Rabbit : )
Julianna Guill from the F13 remake... I've seen lots of boobs in my life but that pair had my jaw drop into my pants...hope she makes the list yo! Oh and I'd f*ck Jessica Rabbit : )
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11:36AM on 06/18/2009

I'd like to...

... nominate Jill Terashita from Night of the Demons. She's the asian chick who gets killed banging her boyfriend in the casket. I know she never got famous or anything, but it's an EPIC boob shot! Plus it's a great kill.

As for Ms. Shepis (the hardest working woman in horror), I thought she looked pretty awesome in the shower (and subsiquent death by window) in Abominable.

Great Top Ten idea!
... nominate Jill Terashita from Night of the Demons. She's the asian chick who gets killed banging her boyfriend in the casket. I know she never got famous or anything, but it's an EPIC boob shot! Plus it's a great kill.

As for Ms. Shepis (the hardest working woman in horror), I thought she looked pretty awesome in the shower (and subsiquent death by window) in Abominable.

Great Top Ten idea!
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10:49AM on 06/18/2009

hmmmmm

one of the most interesting lists this site has featured. it would be such a diverse list from person to person. i'd definately have jennifer love hewitt's on my list but would be in the top 5 somewhere. i would also include pamela anderson's in 'barb wire', barbara crampton's in 're-animator' and even though it's not in the genre... jessica rabbit's! i know, there's something wrong with me.
one of the most interesting lists this site has featured. it would be such a diverse list from person to person. i'd definately have jennifer love hewitt's on my list but would be in the top 5 somewhere. i would also include pamela anderson's in 'barb wire', barbara crampton's in 're-animator' and even though it's not in the genre... jessica rabbit's! i know, there's something wrong with me.
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