Top 10: Tit Shots #2

Last Updated on July 27, 2021

Let’s talk about breasts, baby! Big, beautiful, bouncing breasts. The kind of gratuitous flesh-peddling that our beloved genre often offers to distract us from substandard fare. It’s sort of an unspoken deal between filmmakers and fans – shovel us crap if you must, but have the decency to serve it with boobs.

The thing is though, with so much disposable nudity to choose from, how do you put together a Top 10? It’s not enough to simply feature a hot chick with a fantastic rack. I can find that on the internet in 2 seconds. In fact, I can have that delivered to my house or hotel room in under 30 minutes around most metropolitan areas.

So like the quest for the Holy Grail these choices must be pure. Only the sickest, most twisted, super freak kinda boobage gets to enter THIS list amigos! And while I’ve got a whole slew of tasty treats lined up for ya, don’t be shy about throwing in your two cents by spitting some bullets below. This is a subject near and dear to all of our hearts (literally in the case of the ladies) so speak up. Now let’s get it on!

NSFW examples

This fairly mediocre genre effort has a hella kinky heart. There’s spying on Rhona Mitra and the deleted scene assault. We also get the curvalicious Elisabeth Shue being de-pantied in is it a dream land. But the topper is when our villain feels up and suckles on the feisty Kim Dickens. I don’t care how many special effects you’ve seen. Watching a nipple get invisi-sucked is just fantastic!

4. Return of the Living Dead III

S&M should always have this much heart. Not only does Mindy Clarke’s performance add a touching gravity to the ridiculous premise, it also explores a completely unique reaction to becoming undead. Unless I’m mistaken (and I’m sure I’ll hear about it if I am), we’ve never seen a hero or heroine find a way to control their urges after becoming a zombie. Plus that outfit is, as it should be, dead sexy!

3. Re-Animator

NSFW examples

How did they come up with this one? Gorgeous naked woman. Grotesque severed head. Severed head gives naked woman head. Disgusting, horrific, perverted in the extreme, and one of the best examples that horror will always have a few unbelievable tricks up its sleeve.

2. Evil Dead

NSFW examples

Rape is disgusting and IMHO overused in genre fare because of its shock value. But Tree Rape, that’s a whole different kettle of fish. I mean, who gets raped by a tree? Who even thinks of having a character raped by a tree? Sam “F*cking” Raimi that’s who. And while many claim the scene goes too far, and Raimi himself has stated he wished it wasn’t in the film, you can’t get past the fact that this scene announces with the hammer force of Thor that the movie you are watching is going to f*ck you up and f*ck you up bad! It’s not gratuitous, it’s genius.

1. Psycho

It’s all about context. And the degree of twisted psychosis that a scene exhibits in that context. PSYCHO invented the slasher genre, and then with one brief scene did for showers what it took JAWS a whole movie to do for the ocean. Nudity in horror serves two main purposes – to titillate and to put characters in a position of maximum vulnerability. Sure we never get to see Janet’s Leigh’s, but we’re imagining what we’d like to do with them, and then we’re forced into her terror as that delicious vision gets cut down in its prime. Can’t get any more effective or memorable than that.

READ PART 1 OF THIS LIST HERE