Alien Agenda (1996)
Director: Gabriel Campisi / Ron Ford, Tim Ritter / Kevin J. Lindenmuth
Joel D. Wynkoop/Ransom
Thereâ€™s a war going on. Grey aliens want to take over the world, another form of aliens want to protect it (or do they?) and Debbie Rochon is hot. Let the fun begin???
Sequel to Alien Agenda: Out Of The Darkness. This low budget flick makes one fatal mistake: It introduces an interesting lead character (in the great looking form of Debbie Rochon) and drops her too fast to make way for two semi interesting stories. The movie does go back to her in the end but itâ€™s too little too late. The film feels very disjointed with no natural flow or impression that it knows where itâ€™s going. The result is that The Arrow never got fully into it. Too bad cause the opening grabs you by the jewels with Rochon finding out her boyfriend is really an alien but instead of going with the moment, it cuts it short and moves to another story. The stories themselves are ok. Oneâ€™s a missing agent being hunted down by two men in black and the other is about a mercenary going on a mission (Indiana Jones style) to locate some alien earth station in Florida. The latter offers us an hilarious crocodile against actor scene and a martial arts fight scene that split me in two, I laughed so hard.
The movie never bores you but doesnâ€™t thrill you either. This flick does offer us one of the worst hairdos ever captured on film. Daisy Campisiâ€™s poodle hair cut is one for the books and made The Arrow call all of his friends so they can come over and share the laughter. Another friend gathering scene was the "Reservoir Dog" rip off torture scene in the end. Except this time the torturer is one atrociously bad actor who canâ€™t slap properly and stinks up the joint big time. That scene made all of my friends leave my apartment and cost me a potential intimate soiree with a beautiful young lady ( Amber if youâ€™re reading this, Iâ€™m sorry that scene turned you offâ€¦call me). Most of the other actors hold up well, the effects are fairly good considering the flickâ€™s low budget (fun stop motion stuff with phallic laser equipped robots) and the movie does show signs of visual flair. Itâ€™s just too bad that they broke The Arrowâ€™s rules of very low budget filmmaking: Always show lots of breasts, always cast good looking actors and always dress them well.
Let's explore this ones cavitiesâ€¦
Kids snacking on their dad (gory), worms coming out of humanoid aliens (hokey) and some fun/cheesy special effects. I loved when John disappears and re appears behind an attacker. I loved the Ed Woodish flying saucers and of course the big laser penis robots. Corny fun.
Debbie Rochon (Megan) does good with what she has to do. She plays it low-key and in a film like this, itâ€™s the way to do it. But can someone tell me who put so much lipstick on her lips! Damn that was too much makeup. I was so glad when she didnâ€™t have it on anymore. You donâ€™t need to make her upâ€¦sheâ€™s gorgeous! Joel D Wynkoop (Ransom) gives a very credible performance, heâ€™s on the ball but heâ€™s no Bruce Lee. Alejandro Aragonez (Fritz) doesnâ€™t act, he walks through his scenes and it works!!! Thereâ€™s something about him that made me like him. He looks like the kinda of guy youâ€™d love to get drunk withâ€¦sympathetic is the word. Joe Zaso (John) is a great casting choice, he looks like a goddamn alienâ€¦too bad we don't see him much (but he is on the box cover).
T & A
This movie SHOULD have tits in itâ€¦.
Some nice style, lots of hand held camera shots and the requisite zoom in-zoom out. Adequate.
A bland piano score and a blah "action" score.
Sometimes the little things make a big difference. I swear if all the actors werenâ€™t dressed like homeless people and if they showed some nudity, I would have liked this film more. I know, Iâ€™m superficial. Another thing, if Iâ€™m doing a movie and I have one good looking actressâ€¦you bet your ass sheâ€™ll be in 90 percent of the film. Debbie Rochon is wasted hereâ€¦and I still donâ€™t get why. Iâ€™d rather look at her than some dirty looking mercenary any day. Donâ€™t let the box cover fool you (X-Files knockoff) this isnâ€™t the X-Files and Debbie Rochon isnâ€™t the lead. The film does hold your interest and offers a few laughs but if you need breasts, good fashion and attractive actors to compensate for a low budgetâ€¦look elsewhere. My advice is to light up the bong and have a field trip with Daisy Campisiâ€™s hair messâ€¦it will leave you in stitches.
This movie is followed by another sequel, itâ€™s called Alien Agenda: Under The Skin.