Blade Trinity (2004)
Director: David S. Goyer
The vampires are up to no good again with a new wicked plan to conquer us lowly humans. Itâ€™s up to half vamp, all badass Blade (Snipes) and a pack of fresh acquaintances (who call themselves â€śThe Nightstalkersâ€ť) to save us. â€śKaboomâ€ťâ€¦who cares?
I love the character of Blade. I love Wesley Snipes as the character of Blade. And I love seeing Wesley Snipes kick some serious â€śderriereâ€ť with his fly yet underused (in the film industry anyways) martial arts skills. At the core, Iâ€™m a simple hombre that doesnâ€™t need much to get his bouldersâ€™ off, so yup, a part of me break-danced to Blade Trinity.
The many action sequences on display were my main anchors to this oneâ€™s lapel. They went from outstanding (that opening rocked), to fair (the ample gun play), to generic (end sword fight = Zzzzzz). As a whole though, they brought me some smiles throughout and that was worth something. The same can said about the tossing of Ryan Reynolds into the bloody mix. The dude put out quite the engaging show; think his cocky Van Wilder but with a beard and a six pack! His wisecracking Hannibal King was a perfect polar-opposite to the dead serious Blade. Every scene that showcased both of them going at it had me rolling in the aisles like the Pittsbury Dough Boy on Codeine. Funny stuff! The flick came through on a cosmetic level as well, with the remarkable sets (the human farm bitâ€¦wow), snazzy costumes, loads of kool guns/gadgets and the stellar special-effects making for scrumptious eye-candy. Baby looked good! So what was the hitch then?
Well, when I go see a Blade movie; I go to hang with my main man Blade. Here, the affair was too cluttered with countless one-note characters who sadly took the focus away from him. I didnâ€™t feel that this was his movie and in my tome that was a big no-no. No wonder Wesleyâ€™s pissed! The narrative didnâ€™t stimulate me much either where it felt unfocused and half balked (so many good ideas were wasted here). The script needed some fleshing out and tightening up big time! And what was up with the lead vampires? They were pathetically mostly all talk, did all the wrong moves and had more in common with the Three Stooges than entities I should fear. My biggest peeve though had to do with the lead â€śbaddieâ€ť Dracula. In my useless opinion, the Prince of Darkness was horribly miscast in the likes of Dominic Purcell. Yes the man had a neck thicker than a tree trunk but he didnâ€™t have the necessary presence to fit the bill and looked more like a Porn Star than the Count of all Counts. What a bland main villain! At least he brought me mucho un-intentional laughter! Lastly; a couple of the fight choreographies were shot too tightly to leave an impression while others were too similar, hence redundant.
All in all, Blade Trinity did punch my clock via its action set pieces, its sweet coating and its yuk-yuk humor but I canâ€™t say that much of it had an impact on me. It played, I watched, I grinned and I forgot. I wouldâ€™ve hoped that the franchise had ended with a slit throat not a neck scratch. It should be said if it really is over, those last throwaway frames in regards to Blade's fate were far from satisfying. VERY FAR!Oh wellâ€¦thereâ€™s always Parisâ€¦whatever that freaking means...
We get a ripped off head, countless vamps going up in flames, an arrow in the eye, (why not the headâ€¦he he he), some stabbings and more! The PG 13 bodycount was high but the graphic violence low. This was far from the â€śRated Râ€ť Blade and Blade 2!
Wesley Snipes (Blade) rocked once again as the no-bull and all ass kicker Blade. For some reason, I really liked it when he said â€śmotherfuckerâ€ťâ€¦donâ€™t askâ€¦just sounded great to me. Too bad the spotlight wasnâ€™t on him enough. Ryan Reynolds (Hannibal) is a funny guy and in this film, heâ€™s a funny guy with lots of muscles. Not much of a stretch, unless you count the hours he obviously put in the Gym. Half the time Jessica Biel (Abigail) was on sleeping pills here; the other half, she did fine. Parker Posey (Danica) excels at playing playful and mean spirited gals in movies; here she played one with fangs.
Triple H (Jarko) was a really big dude and that was that on that. I personally found his â€śWrestlingâ€ť connection distracting and I couldnâ€™t get into his underused role. Dominic Purcell (Dracula) was tolerable but didnâ€™t have the charisma or the menace to be a fulfilling lead nemesis. And he sure wasnâ€™t a proper Dracula. Shouldâ€™ve called him something else. Whereâ€™s Gerard Butler (Dracula 2000) when you need him? Kris Kristofferson (Whistler) was his usual gruffy self has Bladeâ€™s mentor. It was nice to see him again.
T & A
If youâ€™re going to have a shower scene with Jessica â€śWonder Buttocksâ€ť Biel; have the decency to show us something! To make matters worse, the flick failed in capitalizing on Bielâ€™s sexiness the whole way.
The ladies fared much better with a ripped and shirtless Ryan Reynolds showing off his stuff. Theyâ€™ll be saddened to hear that Snipes kept his shirt on though.
Goyer handled himself well in his second directing effort; nothing really unique but we did get lots of MTV like cuts, some fast motion, slow motion and kinetic camera movements. Adequate, although I wouldâ€™ve preferred added room and nuances when it came to the hand to hand fights.
We get some techno, industrial and hip hop. There was no â€śscoreâ€ť in this one. Since I adore techno and tranceâ€¦I was mostly okay with the boom-boom sounds coming out of this box.
An average yet eye popping action/horror movie? Yes. A fulfilling addition (or end) to the Blade character and franchise? No. Blade Trinity came across as a springboard for the Abigail/Hannibal King characters as opposed to a proper exercise in total "Blade-ness". Hey man; Abi and King weren't half as interesting as Blade! The dead-pan one deserved better than that! Why did I follow Blade for two movies again? COME ON! Thanks Blade Trinity! Granted, it wasnâ€™t a total loss. We got our rousing action, our easy giggles, our gnarly weapons and our glossy visuals. What we didnâ€™t get though was a smooth flowing narrative structure, characters that went beyond the junk in my trunks or a compelling villain. This was a disposable, "see it on DVD" fluffier than it should be piece. Fun for some easy and simple minded kicks, nothing more, and nothing less. Too badâ€¦I was expecting Blade Part 3!
James Remar, Natasha Lyonne and Eric Bogosian all have small parts in the film.
The flick was shot in Vancouver BC, Canada and cost about 65 000 000$ to make.
Writer/Director David S. Goyer also wrote the two previous Blade movies.
There is already talks of a Hannibal King/Abigail TV or Movie spin-off.
Rumor has it that after the shoot was done; Wesley Snipes wrote a five-page letter to New Line Cinema criticizing his experience on the film. Hereâ€™s an excerpt from that letter:
"As I recall, the movies are titled Blade and Wesley Snipes is the actor/artist that brought the comic book character to life,"
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