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Critters 2 (1988)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Mick Garris

Starring:
Scott Grimes/Brad Brown
Don Keith Opper/Charlie
Terrence Mann/Ug
Barry Corbin/Harv
5 10
PLOT-CRUNCH
It’s Easter. Teen Brad (Grimes) comes back to his home town to visit his grand-mother (I guess the rest of the family don’t really give a crap about grandma). His return coincides with the hatching of the Critter eggs that were left behind. Faster than you can say "Die Hard", Brad has to fight those pesky Crits again but this time he has Charlie, The Bounty Hunters and the whole town behind him…NOT a fair fight.
THE LOWDOWN
In the original I was rooting for the family to win, in this one I was definitely rooting for the Critters. This movie has all the symptoms of "sequel" syndrome. On the down side: the characters are all one dimensional, there’s more comedy, no suspense whatsoever and a forced romance. On the plus side: the effects are way better and we get to see more of the Critters in action. Lets cut this puppy open.
GORE
Not much, I’ve seen Disney movies that were more violent.
ACTING
Whatever…They take the "Charlie is a bumbling fool" bit to a higher level and that's too bad cause Opper is just not funny…His attempt at drama is also lousy but to tell you the truth I think that it’s more the script’s fault than his. The only "good" performance is given by Barry Corbin (Harv), he makes the part of Harv his (played by Emmet Walsh in the first) and we love to look at him. Grimes (Brad) was way cuter when he was a kid and doesn’t have the charisma to carry this film (but he does a great job in Night Life…go figure) His tender moments with Garris (Cynthia) are laughable at best. His character seems more in lust with Charlie (Opper) than with the broad.
T & A
The highlight of this movie is a scene where one of the Bounty Hunters morphs into a Playboy Playmate (no joke). We get to see a big pair of fake breasts. I for one don’t like fake breasts (ever touch one?…feels like cement) I don’t think bigger is better. But if you love your big boobies, you’re in for a treat…enjoy.
DIRECTING
Garris tries to pull a "Gremlins"…scare us and make us laugh…he fails on both counts. This movie is very colorful (it is after all Easter) and I for one have a problem with that. I like my movies darker, specially when they involve flesh eating space gerbils.
SOUNDTRACK
Nothing to write home about. No rock songs and the score will be erased from your memory by the time the credits end (The original had a great soundtrack).
BOTTOM LINE
Except for a scene where the Critters take over a fast food joint "Gremlins" style, this movie doesn’t have much to offer. None of the chemistry or thrills found in the original are here. On the flip side: the Critters look great (bigger budget), are darn cute, and the scenes where they wreck havoc are pleasant, too bad you have to sit through so much crap to get to them. Watch this one with your little sister.
BULL'S EYE
Look for references to: Ghostbusters, Cujo, Nightmare On Elm Street and Star Trek in this one.

Am I the only one that thinks that the guns the Bounty Hunters use are "phallic" symbols.

Cynthia Garris played in four "Mick Garris" films: The Stand, Psycho 4, Sleepwalkers and The Shining (TV)…Daughter? Wife? Housekeeper? Something is going on for sure...
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