Day of the Dead 08 (2008)
Director: Steve Miner
Ving Rhames/Captain Rhodes
A small Colorado town is quarantined by the military due to some mysterious virus outbreak. The skank is let out of the bag when the town folks mutate to pizza-face loonies and begin sprinting real fast, jumping high, crawling on walls and eating peeps. Arrow sings: Spider Zombies, Spider Zombies - Do whatever spider Zombies do - Can they swing from a web - No they can't – They’re Zombies - Look ooouut -They’re f*cking spider Zombies!
I wanted NATHING to do with the DAY OF THE DEAD remake. Why? A- Romero’s DAY OF THE DEAD is flawed but still solid and I didn’t need a re-imagining of it. B- The trailers for it blew. C- James Glenn Dudeson who directed and produced the inept insult DAY OF THE DAY 2 CONTAGIUM was producer on it. D- They cast Nick Cannon. I don’t know much if anything about Senor Cannon the artist – but I do know this – I DON’T WANNA KNOW! So did the movie wind up being the vomit-bagel I thought it would be?
I was sure this one was going theatrical in the US but no dice, its being dumped on DVD come April 11 2008. Ouch! Surprisingly enough though, I wound up having a PJ party in my pants with it on some levels. Now it should be spat that outside of the title, a variation on Bud the Zombie (nothing memorable – not worth expending on) and some characters wearing the same names than the ones in Romero’s classic; this remake was not a remake at all. It was a totally different movie. Shite even the title is misleading. Day of the Infected is more like it! In my opining they were better off selling it as a stand alone – it would’ve stood a better chance of being appreciated for what it is as opposed to the inevitable comparisons to Romero’s baby.
On the high-five side of things HUGE PROPS for the relentless pace of the ride. Once this mofo kicked in full blast at the 20 minute mark, it just didn’t stop bombarding me with groovy mutant attacks, enthralling shootouts, eye popping stunts and gore galore! Straight up for a buck and 10 minutes; DAY OF THE DEAD was an adrenaline charged and heavy handed cheese fest, hence making it very had for a dude like me to not be entertained. It surely helped matters that director Steve Miner was on top of his game in terms of gunning out a visually engaging show and staging his action/horror sequences like a champ! The man is a veteran of the genre and his well oiled horror chops at play resulted in the movie being better than it should have been.
On the other severed hand; talk about a dumb as f*ck affair. The flick was filled with lapses in logics and dumb character moves to serve the plot. The characterization was thin, relationships half baked (What happened between Sara and her brother again?) while the story was underdeveloped and connect the crock. I’m s till waiting for an explanation as to how a virus can result in people sticking to and crawling on walls like Spider Man. Then we had the oddball casting. Mena Survari
(a good actress in her own rights) doesn’t look like she finished high school,
yet alone a Corporal in the military. And Nick Cannon. For f*cks sakes man. Maybe if Cannon played a regular dude, he wouldn’t have grated me so much. Alas all that was missing from his
“I don’t take anything seriously cause I'm hot shit role” was him saying “blang blang” and the circle of
bull-crap would have been complete. I wanted to back-hand him 16 seconds after he appeared. Bugh
All in all, I didn’t expect much smarts or depth out of this one; and I didn’t get any. What I did get was a jamboree, of
outlandish action, gore, more action and lots of guns. In that respect the film came through.
By rule of middle finger, I love silly chomp-chomp, bang-bang horror rides! Now, if only Nick Cannnon had played a mute in the film… if only…
The film went buck wild in this department! Cheek chewed off, mucho beheadings and cranium abusing, ripped off limbs, bullet wounds, run- over infected mooks, a dangling eyeball and more! Too bad the CGI wasn’t always up to snuff.
It’s a statement to Mena Suvari’s talent (Sarah) that she almost sold me on being a tough military badass even though I can easily fit her in my coat pocket, next to my condom wrappers. Michael Welch (Trevor) was credible and likeable. AnnaLynne McCord (Nina) and Linda Marlowe (Francine) had paper thin roles to play with but they were credible and smoking hot!
Ving Rhames (Captain Rhodes) was in the film long enough to remind us once again why Ving Rhames f*cking rocks! The man IS presence! Hearing Nick Cannon (Salazar) say “Now that’s what I’m talking about”, “bitch” or “aeeight” non-stop really rubbed me the wrong way. The fact that is role also consisted of being an a-hole all the time and a “School of Blade” gun posturing whore, didn’t aid in easing the pain either.
T & A
With hot babes like AnnaLynne McCord and Linda Marlowe you’d think tops would hit the floor, you’d think wrong. The ladies get Rhames sexy bald head.
Steve Miner constructed a series of efficient horror sequences and gripping action bits that slapped a smile on my “me love over the top stuff” face. I could’ve gone without the “fast motion” when it came to the infected though – kind of tacky.
Tyler Bates put out a randomly engaging score that got the job done.
DAY OF THE DEAD was an action/gore packed ride that rarely stopped for a STD laced pee break. I was definitely amused throughout and being that the flick was always on the move; its plot holes, mook characters and overall lack of common sense (Freaking spider-zombies man...come on!) went down smoother than they should have. Forget that it’s a remake of DAY OF THE DEAD (cause it wasn't one really) and block your ears every time Nick Cannon opens his poseur tough guy yapper and you might derive some easy strokes out of it like I did. Oh and down a couple of beers before your watch as well! Should do the trick!
Ving Rhames (who played in the Dawn of the Dead remake) tackled a totally different role here. Weird choice, I could see how it could be it be confusing for the more casual viewer.
The film cost about $18,000,000 to make and was shot in Bulgaria.
Arrow note: Is it me, or according to today’s Hollywood, Zombies are not Zombies anymore as to the classic definition of the word. To me a Zombie is somebody that dies and comes back to life - a living dead. He lumbers, he decomposes - he's dead. I guess for today’s Hollywood, it’s somebody who gets infected with something, runs real fast and now, crawls on walls. Sigh...