ARROW IN THE HEAD REVIEWS

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Detour (2003)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: S. Lee Taylor

Starring:
Ashley Elizabeth/Tara
Jill Jacobs/Harmony
Kelsey Wedeen/Cashie
Aaron Buer/Loopz
PLOT-CRUNCH
A group of no-dimension teenagers on their way back from a rave in the desert (?!?) crash their RV and wind up having to battle a clan of cannibals jacked up on toxic weed (I think they’re cannibals). The real horror here though was the white wannabe-black-thug in the fold who polluted the flick with his pathetic posturing like no other white boy has ever done before on celluloid. FUCK ME MAN! Where’s the 12-gauge?
THE LOWDOWN
NOTE: Since “Detour” felt the need to piss on my viewing experience via its character of “Loopz”, an annoying cracker Ebonics spitting gangster poseur that just wouldn’t shut the fuck up for the love of all that is decent in this world, I decided it would be proper to return the favor and have this white boy attempt (I said 'attempt') to write this review in full on Ebonics. I’d like to thank the king of all hood poseurs “Vanilla Ice” for the inspiration he gave me when it comes to the fine rhymes found in this review. I’d also like to state that this review is by no means meant to offend African Americans who speak in Ebonics in their every day life. Here it goes!

All right stop, collaborate and listen, Arrow is back with a brand new invention. So what da dilly yo with dis movie yo? Check it, it's like dis: this flick was jocking The Hills have Eyes’ style like a shameless shorty. Only difference is that instead of true peeps in da izhouse, they dropped a gang of mindless hoes and wannabe thugs/ravers all up in dat shiznit. And the posing didn’t stop there, bres! The chillin like villains, villains in the film looked more like extras that BNEd a K-Mart than lunchin psychos dat deserved to be recognized. Wat up with that shizel dawgs? You be played out, yo! The heroes also stayed true to being zeroes by doing whack moves like separating or be searching for a cell signal in the mountains and shiiee. Who u foolin, foo?

So for the first hour, I was chillin with it all, sippin' my forty, picking out of my Cavy Sack and rollin deep. It was aw-ite fosho, but kind of try-fo-lin at the same time, you know wat I’m sayin? Luckily, the flick was looking pretty phat while doing it’s by-the-numbers thang and at an hour in, it all finally got dope with tight action. This movie got a couple of shizzle my nizzle up its hizzle and they were bad, like BEMAH bad, if you get my rhythm. A device was lifted off "Silence of the Lambs" (call the Po-Po!), but it so worked! And when that fine brunette beeyatch went all "Sarah Connor" and shiiee with the gat she was packin, I was feelin it, yo! You go, girl! Now fix me a sandwich and smoke my baloney pony!

So when the scrap was over, I checked my nickelbag checklist. Hella thick bitches? Check. Some pimpin directing? Check. A couple of busta cap kills? Check. All dat was missin' was an ounce of originality, more scares and a dead wannabe fitty white boy’s head, mounted on my living room wall. Check out the hook while Arrow revolves it!
GORE
Anything less than the best is a felony yall! We get lots of impalings, severed body parts, a mangled body, a machete cutting an arm, an arrow in the chest, a headless corpse, gun shot wounds, stabbings, a spike in the foot and blood splashes in da hiz house. NOTE: By reading some UK review of the film, I have come to the conclusion that the film was trimmed for US release because it was not nearly as gory as their reviews stated. Bummer.
ACTING
Ashley Elizabeth (Tara) was da bomb when strapped, but her acting skillz were on and off. Blonde hottie Jill Jacobs (Harmony) was fiiiiiiiiiine! Woman! Give me a piece of that bootie for breakfast, yo! Kelsey Wedeen (Cashie) was aw-ite as the Goth inclined ho. Aaron Buer (Loopz) was bo-jangling 24/7. He either was a tight actor for delivering his lines with conviction or a he’s really that white homie. Either way, I wanted to curb-job that beeyatch! Brent Taylor (Neil) felt phony when it came to spittin' Ebonics, but nailed the rest. PLAIN ENGLISH: I must commend all of the actors who mostly convincingly portrayed their moronic characters. The acting was surprisingly solid.
T & A
Now that the party is jumping, with the bass kicked in and the Vegas are pumpin! TRUE DAT! Some hoodrat showed her fine ass tits and the hoes get some foo showing his pumped chest.
DIRECTING
Taylor wuz da bomb wit a brick use of filters, colors and POV shots. I also wuz cold-lampin' to his use of kool angles, his milking of the desert surroundings and inserts of the beautiful cloud filled sky. I dug this flava!
SOUNDTRACK
Quick to the point, to the point no faking, Joey Peters wuz cooking MCs like a pound of bacon. The aggressive score wuz kickin no doubt, but wat waz up wit dat tacky techno yo?
BOTTOM LINE
“Jealous cause I’m out getting mine, JoBlo with a gauge and Arrow with a nine!” I’ll go back to plain English in case you didn’t fully grasp this review (I still don’t get it all and I wrote it). "Detour" was pedestrian, derivative of other movies, had pathetic baddies that couldn’t scare my pet hamster (the one in my pants) and lead characters that you’ll either want to nail (some fine lollipop sucking ladies here) or dismember (all the dudes in here were idiots). One thing I also want to point out: If you have a puke-inducing white poseur gangsta kid in your genre film, how about doing us a freaking favor and offing him real early? COME ON! Having said that, "Detour" moved at an even pace, offered up a couple of decent murders and displayed some polished directing. I’m half-half on this dimebag slut. Your move, straight thugs!
BULL'S EYE
Director S. Lee Taylor is also known as Steven Taylor. He directed a film I enjoyed overall called “The Source”.

This film was originally titled “Hell’s Highway”, but changed the title to “Detour” to capitalize on the moderate success of “Wrong Turn”.

The film was shot in Rosemond, California.

Scream Queen Tiffany Shepis has a small part in the opening of the film as a tough lesbian.
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