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Devour (2005)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: David Winkler

Starring:
Jensen Ackles/Jake
Shannyn Sossamon/Marisol
Dominique Swain/Dakota
Teach Grant/Conrad
PLOT-CRUNCH
When Jake (Ackles) and his loser friends (a slut and a dink) play an odd ball videogame online called “The Pathway”, they begin to get mysterious phone calls from old scratch ordering them to do very bad things. Shite goes from bad to worse and it’s up to Jake to figure out what in the hell is going on.
THE LOWDOWN
DEVOUR is that DVD box that has been staring me down for the last year or so. I always avoided it since I had heard that the film was at first slated for a theatrical release but was then dumped on DVD shelves instead due to sucking the big one. Well today was the day where I said “ENOUGH” and put down my hard earned cash to devour into DEVOUR. Was it good eats?

DEVOUR showed promised and was one of those “could’ve been something” deals. The initial premise was a gripping one with the online game and the mysterious "evil advice giving" calls angle (reminded of “The Game” a bit) working me real well. The acting was also pretty on the ball with pretty boy Jensen Ackles and Pop Tart I'd like to pop  Shannyn Sossamon turning admirable shows, hence making them people I wanted to kick it with. Although somewhat trite, the horror heavy “dream sequences” in the film occasionally had some bite to them with a slick red look, some fly gore and a handful of chills. The flick showed off a couple of brutal and ballsy scenes as well which I boogied to like Travolta before the love handles. Finally, I always dug films that deal with Satan busting human chops; hence the themes at hand interested me.

Unfortunately this freaking strip club had bad management, so the lap dances blew and not in the way I wanted them to. The film handled most of its scares in a oh-hum fashion that didn’t work half the time. Usually when a big slimy creature pops on the scene in a horror movie, I expect to get remotely scared, not to laugh at how awkward they feel. The same can be said about the handling of the story and mystery at hand. The film basically dicked around for the bulk of its running time, repeating itself over and over again while not truly moving forward with its story. Un focused was the word! And when the snatch was finally let out of the panties within the last half, it was done in a rush-job manner to then end with final frames that didn’t gratify me or make much freaking sense when looking at the big picture (shades of my 3 last dates)

All in all DEVOUR semi entertained me for the bulk of its running time, I’m happy I saw it, but I’ll be damned if I’ll remember it 10 seconds from now. What film am yapping about again? EXACTLY!

GORE
The flick went heavy on the sauce and I appreciated that. We get peeps with various sharp objects stuck in their heads, some tongue cutting, a stabbing; gun shot wounds and lots of red stuff splashing about.
ACTING
Jensen Ackles (Jake) was grooving for the most part. A few scenes begged for more intensity out of the lad though. Shannyn Sossamon (Marisol) is a very good actress and she elevated this bah part to a higher plane via her well oiled chops. Dominique Swain (Dakota) played a trashy white trash whore…not much of a stretch; seen her play that countless times. Teach Grant (Conrad) tackled his part fine as he played an annoying pathetic loser and from my end I just wanted to shoot him myself and put him out of his misery already.
T & A
We get a nice bouncy pair of knockers while the ladies get…well…a nice bouncy pair of knockers. Nice recoil on those melons, I approved! 8/10
DIRECTING
David Winkler showed talent when it came to communicating spooky atmosphere but lacked in terms of his shots; felt a little too “safe” for me…almost TV Movie like.
SOUNDTRACK
There was a score here? Wow for the life of me I can’t remember it one way or another; I guess it was decent. We also get a couple of rock tunes.
BOTTOM LINE
DEVOUR had good ideas, able actors, potent red wet moments and a taut enough pace. Too bad the story wasn’t developed enough all the way through and that the true motive behind the zaniness was carelessly shoveled our way, making for an un-fulfilling payoff. See it when you’re out of stuff to rent or if you aim to get oral halfway through the movie... or don’t see it at all. It’s one of those.
BULL'S EYE
The great William Sadler had a cameo here as Ivan Reisz.

Director David Winkler is the son of Rocky producer Irwin Winkler
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9:54PM on 08/31/2009
This was an average thriller with average acting and a average story. This was kind of similar to Disturbing Behavior but worse. This might have been fresh back in the early 90's but this was just uninteresting with no thrills, scares and it wasn't even that gory. The one thing I do give it credit for was that it was slickly made but it was mostly silly and pointless. Overall don't waste your time on this very forgettable thriller.
This was an average thriller with average acting and a average story. This was kind of similar to Disturbing Behavior but worse. This might have been fresh back in the early 90's but this was just uninteresting with no thrills, scares and it wasn't even that gory. The one thing I do give it credit for was that it was slickly made but it was mostly silly and pointless. Overall don't waste your time on this very forgettable thriller.
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