When Jake (Ackles) and his loser friends (a slut and a dink) play an odd ball videogame online called “The Pathway”, they begin to get mysterious phone calls from old scratch ordering them to do very bad things. Shite goes from bad to worse and it’s up to Jake to figure out what in the hell is going on.
is that DVD box that has been staring me down for the last year or so. I always avoided it since I had heard that the film was at first slated for a theatrical release but was then dumped on DVD shelves instead due to sucking the big one. Well today was the day where I said “ENOUGH” and put down my hard earned cash to devour into DEVOUR. Was it good eats?
DEVOUR showed promised and was one of those “could’ve been something”
deals. The initial premise was a
gripping one with the online game and the mysterious "evil advice giving" calls
angle (reminded of “The Game” a bit) working me real well. The acting was also pretty on the ball with pretty boy
and Pop Tart I'd like to pop Shannyn Sossamon
turning admirable shows, hence making them people I wanted to kick it with. Although somewhat
trite, the horror heavy “dream sequences” in the film occasionally had some bite to them with a slick red look, some fly gore and a handful of chills. The flick showed off a couple of brutal and ballsy scenes as well which I boogied to
like Travolta before the love handles. Finally, I always dug films that deal with Satan busting human chops; hence the themes at hand interested me.
Unfortunately this freaking strip club had bad management, so the lap dances blew and not in the way I wanted them to. The film handled most of its scares in a oh-hum fashion that didn’t work half the time. Usually when a big slimy creature pops on the scene in a horror movie, I expect to get remotely scared, not to laugh at
how awkward they feel. The same can be said about the handling of the story and mystery at hand. The film basically dicked
around for the bulk of its running time, repeating itself over and over again
while not truly moving forward with its story. Un focused was the word! And when the snatch was finally let out of the panties within the last half,
it was done in a rush-job manner to then end with final frames that didn’t gratify me or make much freaking sense when looking at the big picture (shades of my 3 last dates)
All in all DEVOUR semi entertained me for the bulk of its running time, I’m happy I saw it, but I’ll be damned if I’ll remember it 10 seconds from now. What film am yapping about again? EXACTLY!
The flick went heavy on the sauce and I appreciated that. We get peeps with various sharp objects stuck in their heads, some tongue cutting, a stabbing; gun shot wounds and lots of red stuff splashing about.
Jensen Ackles (Jake) was grooving for the most part. A few scenes begged for more intensity out of the lad though. Shannyn Sossamon (Marisol) is a very good actress and she elevated this bah part to a higher plane via her well oiled chops. Dominique Swain (Dakota) played a trashy white trash whore…not much of a stretch; seen her play that countless times. Teach Grant (Conrad) tackled his part fine as he played an annoying pathetic loser and from my end I just wanted to shoot him myself and put him out of his misery already.
We get a nice bouncy pair of knockers while the ladies get…well…a nice bouncy pair of knockers. Nice recoil on those melons, I approved! 8/10
David Winkler showed talent when it came to communicating spooky atmosphere but lacked in terms of his shots; felt a little too “safe” for me…almost TV Movie like.
There was a score here? Wow for the life of me I can’t remember it one way or another; I guess it was decent. We also get a couple of rock tunes.
DEVOUR had good ideas, able actors, potent red wet moments and a taut enough pace. Too bad the story wasn’t developed enough all the way through and that the true motive behind the zaniness was carelessly shoveled our way, making for an un-fulfilling payoff. See it when you’re out of stuff to rent or if you aim to get oral halfway through the movie... or don’t see it at all. It’s one of those.