Far Cry (2008)
Director: Uwe Boll
Til Schweiger/Jack Carver
Udo Kier/Dr. Krieger
Ex-Special Forces badass, Jack Carver (Schweiger) now gives boat cruises for a living. But heâ€™s sucked back into action when he escorts a hot pants journalist to some island and finds himself having to battle all kinds of genetically altered soldiers, led by the great Udo Kier at that! Get ready to rumble!
FAR CRY is based on the successful (and f*cking fun) first-person shooter video game of the same name and I have to say it when I first saw the trailer for it, it got me pumped for the flick. It reeked of 80â€™s ish, B-Movie, macho man action fluff to me, and I love that shite! Now that Iâ€™ve seen it, I canâ€™t say it lived up to it trailer or even the potential that the game has in terms of being one AWESOME movie, but it wasnâ€™t a total waste either.
Of all the Uwe Boll video game to screen adaptations that Iâ€™ve seen this one had to be the most faithful to its source material characters and plot wise. Sure Carver had a German accent, there was no tropical jungle in sight (BC woods baby) and no genetically altered primates either (just humans), but FAR CRY the movie retained most of the basics that made FAR CRY the game, wellâ€¦ FAR CRY. So at least I had that to hold to and I appreciated the effort. With that stabbed, the ace in this oneâ€™s deck had to be Til Schweiger as Jack Carver. I wasnâ€™t sold on his casting when I first heard about it (Jack Carver should be all American) but Til made it happen via his good looks, charisma and his effectiveness in whooping skulls within his many action scenes. If he chooses his projects carefully, Schweiger can be the next big action star in my useless opinion.
And speaking of action, say what you will about Boll, but here he has outdone himself in terms of orchestrating visually arresting wam-bam bits that slapped a grin on my face. I was treated to mucho well choreographed fist fights, groovy gun fights (lots of heavy artilleries here), some kick ass chases (trucks, boats and even one heck of a helicopter gag) and eye popping stunts left and right (loved them super jumps). Gore was in the house as well (mostly in the beginning but hey it still counted) and thereâ€™s nothing like red grub to satisfy my plasma lust. Add to that an easy pace, a very entertaining Udo Kier licking the scenery and a couple of so bad theyâ€™re funny moments that made me chuckle and you get a flawed, often clumsy yet still amusing slice of B cheese.
On the â€śshame on you foreverâ€ť side of things though, FAR CRY sported some of the most infantile dialogue Iâ€™ve ever heard. Iâ€™m talking some pretty putrid stuff here. For example (and thatâ€™s just ONE example), after tough guy Jack Carver bangs the token broad, he asks her how good he was in bed on a scale of 1 to 10. She gives him a bad rating and he gets upset. That beccame a running joke throughout the film. WTF is going on here???? The dude is Jack Craver! Not some 12 years old twat hitting second base for the first time. JACK CARVER! Itâ€™s like having RAMBO be insecure about the size of his biceps! COME ON! How EMBARASSING!
Which leads me to the film's sad sack attempt at humor. FOR F*CKS SAKES! Who wants humor in a FAR CRY movie anyway??? NOT ME! If it wasnâ€™t the shitty, baby-ish jokes making me groan, it was that GRATING tourist couple (played by AWFUL actors to boot) or that â€śshoot me nowâ€ť fat dude comic relief who kept howling like a bitch with a razor laced dildo shoved up his ass. AWFUL! Finally the â€ślove storyâ€ť was handled in a slap dash manner (they bang out of left field) and some of the acting was on the â€śshitâ€ť side, but I let the latter go â€¦ too busy LOATHING the filmâ€™s attempts at comedy and pussy-fying Jack Carver.
So there you have it. As whole, I wouldnâ€™t call FAR CRY a good film, but that didnâ€™t stop it from being entertaining. It was win some/lose some for me. So you going to nail this one up the Far Cry or what? Your call!
Weâ€™re treated to cringe inducing surgical bits, a ripped back, a nasty impaling, countless bullet hits and more!
Til Schweiger (Jack Carver) had presence to burn! I couldnâ€™t help but love the dude even when he spat out INANE dialogue. He also handled his action bits like a champ. Emmanuelle Vaugier (Valerie) looked great but didnâ€™t fare as well as Til, her crap lines made her look bad. You canâ€™t go wrong with Udo Kier (Dr. Krieger) playing a quirky heavy, cashing a check or not, the dude was a hoot here! Craig Fairbrass (Parker) gave his role some cred via his obviously well oiled acting chops. Lookout for mojntain of muscles Ralph Meoller playing a good guy for a change (well most of the time) â€“ how refreshing! He actually came off as sympathetic. Love that dude!
T & A
I actually donâ€™t know to be honest. I had to hit the head and chose to go right when the â€śsex sceneâ€ť started. Not sure if we saw anything. So you tell me!
Bollâ€™s camera was always on the move (for better and for worse, I got lost sometimes), he kicked ass with his action scenes, the areal shots hit home and so did the kinetic candy (loved the 180 turn around that impaled dude).
Boll regular Jessica de Rooij put out another engaging if not serviceable score.
FAR CRY was easy â€śhalf & half" math for me; strong lead, slick action set pieces, some fly visuals and intentionally and unintentionally side splitting B Movie goodness. On the limp side; painful dialogue, grating side characters, shitty love angle and incredibly inept attempt at humor. I say if you like 80â€™s action films, B movies (although Far Cry cost 25 Mil... lots of $$$ for a B Movie) in general or/and so bad theyâ€™re good jamborees, you may get a couple of cheap kicks out of this one. If not, donâ€™t bother, youâ€™ll step on a landmine and blow yourself up, never to be seen again. Iâ€™d like to see another FAR CRY movie with Schweiger in the lead. But please get a better script and drop the humor. PLEASSSSSSSE!
FAR CRY the game was created by German cie Crytek Studios and put out by Ubisoft)
There are 6 FAR CRY games in all (2 of them are repeats for other consoles though).
Look out for genre fav Michael Pare in a small role.