ARROW IN THE HEAD REVIEWS

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Gamer (2009)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Neveldine/Taylor

Starring:
Gerard Butler/Kable
Amber Valletta/Angie
Michael C. Hall/Ken
Alison Lohman/Trace
PLOT-CRUNCH
Poor Kable (Gerard Butler). He's stuck with a silly name AND he was framed for murder, slapped in the pen and forced to play a bloodsport for the masses. Is he on the RUNNING MAN show? Nah... he's on SLAYERS and he wants O-U-T OUT! Lock and load!
THE LOWDOWN
I remember being at a Taylor/Neveldine party last summer (I was a bus-boy there...joke) and they were looping clips of GAMER on a big screen amidst the drunken crowd. And I was f*cking transfixed man - eyes glued to the screen 100%. All the lightly dressed dames prancing around me didn't mean jack or shit at the time - all I cared about was the fly action madness that was being tossed my way. I have been stoked for GAMER ever since. Now that I FINALLY saw the damn thing...well... read on Tonto.

GAMER had enough live rounds in its chamber to cause some happy-happy-joy-joy damage. First how refreshing was it to see the always charismatic Gerard Butler back to the type of films he should be doing according to this loon as opposed to the romantic vomit he's been popping boners for now of late. I love me my Butler jacked, mean, gun in hand and ready for mayhem with a bad Yankee accent - GAMER gave me just that. The intense, frenetic and flamboyant action sequences at play definitely hit my spot and were the highlight of this watch for me. Car carnage, visceral shoot-outs (the rave bit was nuts), badass hand to hand fights, extreme violence left, right and up your ass - the works baby...the works! And all of it was played out via zany editing, slow motion whoring and nifty camera angles at that. YEEHAW! Arrow Happy! Displays of kookiness (Dexter's Michael C Hall chewing the scenery like it was a stick of gum and one cute dance number going down at the oddest time...lol), sexual deviance galore and shameless female flesh peddling toppled this pie with the right flavors as well.

A note on the latter spice if I may; the Crank dudes love the ladies and being that I share their sentiments on the matter, I appreciated them indulging in that love onscreen so fervently via ample nudity and countless bootie close ups (yeah, I'm an ass man... sue me). The fact that foxy lady Amber Valletta was one of the trinkets on display also helped sweeten the deal for this mook. Damn that broad is finer than red wine a dripping down a hooker's butt crack. DAMN! Tag to all that, a bopping (yeah bopping, go with it) soundtrack (cant go wrong with Marylyn Manson man), trippy/colorful prod/costume designs some novel ideas that bordered a sly social commentary (loved the for real SIM game thang...f*cked up), a quick fix pace and a gnarly cast (Alison Lohman, Ludacris, Terry Crews and Kyra Sedgwick owned it) and and you get a flick that f*cked hard, kaboomed harder and looked snazzy while doing it.

Unfortunately, GAMER reeked of what's often wrong with the usual post-summer, September releases (i.e. dumping month as its called): it was simply badly put together. The flick felt slap dashed in terms of structure, its story was more akin to a slew of concepts tossed on the wall than a full fledged and cohesive narrative. Moreover the character development and the relationships were a jokes and the sad sack attempt by the film in making me care about any of it was the punch-line. I so smell overcooking in the editing room on this one (it should be said that GAMER was shot before CRANK 2) and I wouldn't be surprised if there were a couple of suits to blame. The stench of corporate interferences spewed out of the screen and polluted the cinema I was in. But hey maybe's its just me....

All in all, if better stirred in Post Production, GAMER could've been a compelling drama and a biting social commentary on top of being a slick action flick with a penchant for decadence and poon. As-is, its a roller-violence ride on cocaine with lots of shells spitting out for your bucks - that's it.

GORE
It gets brutal here - the way I like it. Bullets to the head, mangled bodies, face half lopped off, snapped necks, grisly bullet wounds, stabbings and more!
T & A
GAMER threw down hot chicks galore! Am yapping tits, ass and more tits and more ass. And nice looking tits and ass at that! So yeah, lots of tits and ass in this tits and ass festival of tits and ass. Mucho gracias!
BOTTOM LINE
GAMER had its exploitation bases covered hardcore no doubt. It also put out an endearing anarchic/decadent.off the wall vibe and Gerard Butler cracking head and taking names with guns, his fists and even a truck. Yup, this watch twas a hoot the loop! If only the whole thing wasn't overly "Betty Crockered" in the editing room. We maybe could've had an LSD action flick that also sported a strong story, potent relationships and engaging characters too. Oh well its not XMAS yet, so why the f*ck am I complaining. GAME OVER.
BULL'S EYE
The flick was called GAME, then CITIZEN GAME to finally be called GAMER.

Look for a Milo Ventimiglia (who was in the GAMER filmmakers' Pathology) cameo as Rick Rape.

Terry Crews made one heck of a scary badass villain. Props!

That shot in the trailer of Butler shirtless, buffed up, looking for some ass kicking was NOT in the film. That sucks, Butler trained for that shot man...

PLAY THE GAMER WEBSITE HERE

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6:21PM on 10/19/2009
In fairness, it's not really mindless entertainment. For that, see Transformers 2 (actually, that wasn't entertainment, just mindless). Gamer did actually raise some pertinent questions about the way society is headed - it just did it with as little subtlety as humanly possible.

Gamer reminds me of Running Man - a lot. Not only because of the story and the themes, but because both are flawed and incredibly cheesy films which are still very entertaining. In Gamer, credit for this is partly
In fairness, it's not really mindless entertainment. For that, see Transformers 2 (actually, that wasn't entertainment, just mindless). Gamer did actually raise some pertinent questions about the way society is headed - it just did it with as little subtlety as humanly possible.

Gamer reminds me of Running Man - a lot. Not only because of the story and the themes, but because both are flawed and incredibly cheesy films which are still very entertaining. In Gamer, credit for this is partly due to the cast - Gerard Butler, John Leguizamo, Terry Crews; should I continue? Yes I should, with three words: Michael C. Hall. Again, subtlety is not the word. The man chewed up so much scenery I was worried he might lean out of the screen and start eating the seats. He grinned like an idiot throughout, and as a result so did I.

As for the flaws, my main complaint would be the combination of camerawork and editing which made Transformers look sedate. All I can say is, avoid Gamer if you suffer from motion sickness. This style works well for Crank; less so here. On the positive side, spending so much time trying to see what's happening at least means you don't have time to stop and ask too many questions.

Gamer is not original, not clever, and certainly not well-edited. It is, however, enormous fun.
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5:15PM on 09/09/2009
This was worth checking out for Michael C. Hall's dance routine alone. Mindless entertainment at its finest.
This was worth checking out for Michael C. Hall's dance routine alone. Mindless entertainment at its finest.
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10:41PM on 09/05/2009

Did you say...

Titties...I'm sold.
Titties...I'm sold.
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