ARROW IN THE HEAD REVIEWS

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Hellraiser 8: Hellword (2005)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Rick Bota

Starring:
Doug Bradley/Pinhead
Katheryn Winnick/Chelsea
Henry Cavill/Mike
Lance Henriksen/The Host
PLOT-CRUNCH
A group of Hellraiser Hellworld fans (an online Hellraiser video game) go to a Hellworld shin-dig, see the macabre sights, have some dirty sex and then get creatively slaughtered. Pinhead shows up to quip around and everybody’s happy…right? I SAID RIGHT? Well…I was!
THE LOWDOWN

If you need anything... scream! - The Host

At this point it’s obvious that Pinhead’s purpose in these new Hellraiser sequels is to help sell DVDs by having his pretty boy nail laced mug on the cover. The last 4 sequels could’ve easily stood on their own without him. With that in mind I entered Hellraiser Hellworld (hitting DVD shelves on September 06, 2005), ready to have an “okay” time and to my big surprise (I mean the one in my kakis), I had a freaking blast!

Put aside your undying devotion to the early Hellraiser films, ignore the fact that Pinhead is basically demeaned to being a Freddy Krueger circa NOES Part 4 clown, present to spit out one liners after each kill and enjoy what’s there tacos! A freaking jumping, whoring and gut busting Horror Party movie! Hellraiser Hellworld was about 3 things, flesh, death and rock & twists and since my life sucks harder than a Police Academy sequel right now, I welcomed it with open arms and a knife in the f*cking front

Hellraiser Hellword had its game on and then some! It established its surprisingly likeable teen leads, its groovy William Castle-esque premise, loosely referenced the Hellraiser mythos along the way, slapped in the GREAT, Lance Henriksen for that touch of oh so important class and then let her rip hardcore! What followed was the type of movie Dark Castle should be putting out as opposed to most of their poseur snooze fests: a highly amusing, shameless and well paced horror coaster ride that just wouldn’t stop back-handing my silly forehead with all that makes a horror punch bowl, dunk worthy. I’m talking a trippy ass vibe, mucho gory/inventive kills, hot “topless” dames all over the rug, insane situations and ballsy turns that would send any arthritis ridden grandma into a back flipping frenzy.

I swear watching this film was the easiest thing I’ve had to do all week next to eating chips with my left hand. My brain was able to relax, my muscles unclenched and my Johnson finally went limp (damn Viagra). The flick allowed me to have a gnarly time and forget my worries so I jumped in there and enjoyed the dead air! Add to all that sweet jazz; a well written, clever screenplay (loved the use of cell phones), a sly approach to its Hellraiser roots (people know of Hellraiser in this film) and a badass "sucker punch" finale that topped this bitch off with a bloody cherry (like the one I popped last night) and you get a crowd pleaser that’s not afraid to get its on its knees to say “I love you”.

On the dull side of the nail, I couldn’t help but thing “pathetic” every time Pinhead or worse yet a “we have to be here cause the film is called Hellraiser” Cenobite surfaced. Although the makeup was amazing as per usual, the film would’ve most likely have been better off without the creepy lads where they served next to almost ZERO purpose within the storyline. Just there cause they had to be there. My Big Smelly Toe could’ve been the freaking villain over here and nobody would’ve blinked an iota (or a Liotta). I also though that the last block dragged for like a micro second, but that was swiftly redeemed with the slick plot twists and deaths that arose.

Overall, this flick was a F*cking-A good time! It knew what it was and wasn’t ashamed of it! Hellraiser as we know it is freaking dead; it will only come back if Clive Barker ever takes the helm again. Till then, I’d rather watch groovy horror flicks posing as Hellraiser sequels like this Rotweiller then sitting through yet another piece of candy coated big budgeted Hollywood piece of crap. Keep em coming! I’m having a hoot nanny over here!

GORE
We get saw blades in the neck, an AWESOME beheading, a ripped open chest, a hook in the back, a spike in the mouth, a stabbing, one hell of a body sliced up in pieces and more! I was happy! Will you be?
ACTING
Doug Bradley (Pinhead) cashed a check. Hey! The man has bills to pay like all of us. Katheryn Winnick (Chelsea) was blonde (my color of choice), had a nice round ass and a decent delivery. I’m hip to that stuff Riddler! Henry Cavill (Mike) was Aces as the charisamtic “poon hound” a-hole! I related to the guy! Lance Henriksen (The Host) freaking owned in his small role! Perfect bit of casting! He made the role a better one due to his immense talent alone. LOVE THAT GUY! I HAVE TO BUY HIM A BEER ONE DAY! Christopher Jacot (Jake) was on the ball as the gloomy and emotionally torn teen . Khary Payton (Derrick) was endearing as the more animated dude of the group. Great teen casting for once!
T & A
We get 4…count them…4 tit shots! Somebody understands the intricacies of foreign sales and I love him/her for it! Thank you! The ladies get some dudes shirtless.
DIRECTING
Being that this is Bota’s third Hellariser flick, he’s getting better and better at it. I personally mucho boogied to the somber atmosphere he put out, his potent use of slow/blurry motion and that trippy ass “fast motion” trick. Fun stuff!
SOUNDTRACK
We get some acceptable rock tunes and a score so subtle that I didn’t notice it.
BOTTOM LINE
Fast paced, bloody, horny, tighter than a virgin’s skin slit and actually pretty damn smart, Hellraiser Hellworld put the “t-y” in “titty” and horror party! Much like a well trained crack whore on all fours begging for her fix, the flick shamelessly aimed to please. Nothing wrong with that! If only all my dates were as easy as this movie! Sure Pinhead and company were merely snatch dressing to sell DVDs (it has never been more apparent than here), but what the fudge are you going to do? I gave up at Part 6! It isn’t Hellraiser anymore cellmates! It's stand alone horror flicks with Pinhead crashing them! Hey, if they all turn out as tight as this one, sign me up for another one, I’m a whore anyways!
BULL'S EYE
Hellraiser Hellworld was shot back to back with the previous film Hellraiser Deader

Katheryn Winnick is a licensed bodyguard and was ranked second in her Tae Kwon Do (Canada) division in 1996. She can kick my ass anyday!

Special makeup effects designer Gary Tunnicliffe is also known for his great Hellraiser fan short film “No More Souls”, he also played the Bound Cenobite in this sequel.
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