House at the End of the Street (2012)
Director: Mark Tonderai
Mom (Elisabeth Shue) and teen daughter (Jennifer Lawrence) move into a new house. Problem is, the neighboring pad has a double-murder history tagged to its ass and it seems that the said "history" is not done kicking yet! Boredom and Jennifer Lawrence running around while bobbling out of a tight white top ensues...
This is gonna be a short write-up because there's just not that much to spit about this uninspired snore-a-thon. If it wasn't for Jennifer Lawrence becoming a star, this movie would have gone straight to DVD and nobody would have blinked. But alas we all know what went down. Pointless review padding done! Let's dive in!
Hot stuff Jennifer Lawrence was shooting THE HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET when her break-out role in WINTER'S BONE was unleashed upon the world in 2010. So it was a career move that was made before X-MEN FIRST CLASS and THE HUNGER GAMES came about and eventually made her a star. I'm sure she regrets it today, which would explain why she has been ducking doing press for the movie. But hey crystal balls man, they don't work, we can't predict the future, she did what she had to do at the time as a working actress. Nothing wrong with that. Now that I've seen the flick though, I can understand why she's distancing herself from it.
THE HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET was as derivative, predictable and by the numbers as they come. Mom and daughter move in to a new house and faster than you can spell "tampon", every teen movie cliched was tossed my way. Half cocked mom and daughter conflict. The "bully" wants teen girl's ass, girl falls for the "nice guy", shit even the mom gets in the mix and starts having a soft spot for the town 5.0. These dames didn't waste any time in trying to get hooked up that's for sure! Sigh. So for an hour and 15 minutes, this movie was mostly all about TV Movie of the Week type drivel: puppy love here, puppy love there, hints of something horrific going on, some typical "drama", slap dash subplots, puppy love everywhere. BARF! Horror wise, anybody that's seen more than 10 genre films will guess this one's sad sack game 5 minutes in. I did, 99.9% of it anyways. HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET didn't have one original bone in its body, it just ripped off bits and pieces from better movies (Psycho, Silence of the Lambs etc.) and called it a life. So all I kept doing was impatiently wait for the movie to catch up with me... NOT FUN. In terms of scares, they were all of the BOO variety. They may make a 12 year old piss his/her pants, but a grown man-child such as myself, no dice! And what about the acting? Well Jennifer Lawrence (who sings a couple of songs here, girl is talented), Max Thieriot and Elisabeth Shue all did fine, specially when you consider the asinine dialogue they had to spew out. In the claws of lesser actors, even more GROANS would have bellowed out of my throat on this watch. So kudos for making the best of it and coming out of it fairly unscathed! NOTE: After the the shit sandwich that was MY SOUL TO TAKE and now this, it's official, Max Thieriot needs a new Agent. He's better than this.
Anymore nice things to say? Well I dug some of Mark Tonderai's camera moves and stylistic touches (like the out of focus ploys or the pervy close ups of Jennifer Lawrence's cleavage - well played sir). But the overzealous editing often pissed on his jive by going overboard with the music video like tricks. It felt like they were trying to cover up a bad movie, ya know, put a scoop of syrup on a heap of poop. Lastly, the last 25 minutes or so FINALLY acted like they were from a horror movie. Sure it was your typical game of stalk and mouse, but hey I appreciated it after the SLOW PACED hour and 15 minutes of bla, bla, bla, yawn, yawn, yawn I was forced to endure. All in all, THE HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET was not the worst film that I've ever seen, with that, I could've easily done without it. NEXT IN LINE PLEASE! We're done here.
Mostly off-screen stabbings and gun shot wounds. There's more gore in my fridge.
T & A
Jennifer Lawrence's mammoth cleavage was often zero-ed in on here and my chinos appreciate it.
A horror movie for little girls or people who don't watch horror films! THE HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET was a Hallmark movie for an hour and 15 minutes and only during the last 25 minutes did it remember that it was a scary movie and let her rip a tad. It had some nifty visuals (often tarnished by overbearing editing tricks) and was well acted (alas the often shitty dialogue made the performers look bad). With a lumbering pace, a see through mystery, too many boo scares and so much puppy love you'll want to choke the puppy, I can't recommend you shell out big bucks to see it on the big screen.... unless you're 12 years old or/and a virgin. If you HAVE TO see it though, tap it on DVD. Nothing to see here!
Jonathan Mostow came up with the story and was slated to direct at some point.
Mark Tonderai also directed the low budget horror film Hush (2008).