The Arrow Reviews

High school sexpot Jennifer (Fox) is killed by some poseur Satan worshiping rock band and then comes back as a flesh craving succubus. Her best friend Needy (get it…needy) played by hottie Amanda Seyfried is not taking it well…

Before I go down on this one I guess I should mention that I never saw JUNO and never will. You know how some movies get on your nerves just via the hype it got and everybody dropping loads all over it as to how “good” it was? Well that’s what happened with me and JUNO. You say JUNO, I say f*ck that movie, I’ll never see it. With that out of the way, I was pumped to see pole-humper turned screenwriter DIABLO CODY’s (I guess she kept her stage name) follow up to JUNO for two reasons: Megan and Fox. Much like at least half of the world’s male hetero population, I got a hard on for that trinket, and I couldn’t wait to see her as nude as possible while hoping for the answer to the eternal question: can she do more than lean over hot cars and flash that fine ass? It’s on!

I liked JENNIFER’S BODY. I didn’t love it I dug it. It had a very charming 80’s vibe to it that kind of reminded me of films like 976-EVIL and TRICK OR TREAT in its high school setting and schlocky execution. I’m pretty sure the film wanted to be HEATHERS, but no dice on that one. HEATHERS did it organically; this one tried so hard, that it fell flat, face first on its apron. For all its efforts, at the end of the kill, this was a lavish looking B movie with a budget, nothing more or less. Gal gets axed, comes back as a blood lusting she-cannibal bitch, let the good times roll. Personally, the initial premise worked me well. I was having fun with it all. You can rarely go wrong with a hot tramp going evil and using her sexuality to snare in her preys. And you really can’t go wrong when that dame looks like Megan Fox. Especially when she gives up a lezzy kiss (with Seyfried) in all of its extreme close up glory. Damn that panda is fine (too bad she knows it)!

Substance wise; the relationship between Fox and her ugly duckling friend (Seyfried ugly? Come on! She's f*cking model hot!) was fairly engaging and kept me hooked on some levels. Both actresses shared a swell chemistry and yes I did smile a couple of times due to it. Same thing went for Needy's thing with Chip (ably tackled by Johnny Simmons); their courtship felt very genuine - hence gripping. The feel of the piece also cranked my dial. The colors were vibrant, some of the shots mucho kinetic (Karyn Kusama of Girlfight fame showcased a good eye and lots of energy behind the camera) and the groovy pop rock tunes (yes I enjoyed Through the Trees by Low Shoulder) and heavy metal riffs rubbed me the right way (I like how the end credit song was Violet by Hole - good ditty). The acting was “on the money" too. Fox did what she had to do well (kind of born to play the role really – her range is still up in the air - i did buy her more emotional moments though) while everybody else shined, especially Amanda Seyfried who showed lots of courage with the role hence kind of wound up making it HER movie. Finally, some “dead time” aside, I thought the pacing was fairly tight, meaning I didn’t check my watch too often (maybe twice, not bad for a September release).

On the downside, the flick didn’t really go beyond its initial premise in terms of story or fully capitalizing on its gnarly premise. Some fleshing out would’ve been nice (then again this flick was so random and like 3 movies in one - not much room for development). Felt too basic to me. The dialogue had a tendency of becoming obnoxious as well. Some of the lines made me cringe in their “look how cool I’m trying to be” demeanor. Alas the opposite happened: when you try too hard – you’re not cool. You’re a jerk. Horror wise, apart from one tense scene that worked, this one was lacking, much like I lack in writing skills.Way too bashful to have any impact. You gonna do a film about some demon hoe eating boys? Embrace the kind of movie you are doing instead of pussy footing around trying to be everything else BUT that. Lastly, which goes hand in ass with my prior statement: the tone really got out of hand during the second half of the picture. It wanted to be hardcore horror and a sly comedy (with satirical and feminist flavors at that) all at once and it failed at being any of it. All over the place was the expression; me kind of bored by it was the result.

All in all I had a decent time with Jennifer’s Body – she didn’t swallow but she blew well and the effort was appreciated.

We get some intestine munching, opened up corpses, ghastly bites and lots of off camera boy killing. Too “off screen” inclined for my gore buds.

As you all know, Megan Fox’ nude scene didn’t make the final cut, so we’re left with Fox showcasing that ass in short skirts/tight pants and flaunting that cleavage like a primo, Olympic winner, cock tease. Amanda Seyfried’s undie stuff was dope; didn’t know she was THAT stacked and ready for war. Made my heart flutter…

JENNIFER’S BODY tried real hard to be lots of things and it should be said that the effort was esteemed by this twat. I'll take "trying" over LAZY filmmaking any day. As-is this body delivered a fun basic storyline and eye candy galore in its two female leads and sleek imagery. Solid acting was in the house as well and the soundtrack had me bumpin. Alas, the narrative was underdeveloped, the flick often didn’t know what it wanted to be and it tried so hard to be hip via its dialogue that I hurled in my Pop Corn a couple of times and called it butter. A decent time waster and self love fodder that was cleverer than the norm? Yes. But a horror/comedy with strong scares and good laughs? Or a satire with bite? NOPE! NOTE: I applaud anybody that ever PULLS OFF doing a feminist piece while working within the "lets exploit women" slasher mold. Jennifer's Body tried and it didn't pan out... tough act to nail. Arrow out to go watch the hockey game.

Diablo Cody wrote the screenplay for the film in 2006, the same year she penned media darling Juno.

The title "Jennifer's Body" was taken from the HOLE song of the same name on the Live Through This album.

Look out for a cameo by genre icon Lance Henriksen.

The film was shot in Vancouver, BC.

BEND OVER THE OFFICIAL JENNIFER'S BODY SITE  HERE